I’m binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won’t let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

Those are only available on Amazon Prime.

A wife asks her husband, "If I died, do you think you would remarry?" (joke from my 79 year old great aunt)

The husband replies, "Remarry? No way! I'd be too devestated by your death, I could never replace you."

The wife insists that her husband take a new wife, "If I go before you, I would hate for you to be alone. Please tell me you'd find a new wife."

The husband promises to honor his wi...

Holiday Joke

An 79 year old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-seven years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her fac...

79 and 80 were in a fight

81

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Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills.
The people were encouraged to faithfully practice thes...

COVID lockdowns have been tough on everyone, but especially hard for men.

They've been losing $1.00 for every $0.79 women are losing.

A hundred year old couple seeks a divorce.

A hundred year old couple enters a lawyers office. After inviting them to sit he asks what he can do for them. They tell him they are seeking to divorce. The lawyer is puzzled and asks how long they've been married for. 79 long years the woman replies. The man adds that they've been deeply unhapp...

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I wish -

### A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.


“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.


The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.


“How mu...

Chuck Norris has died aged 79

But Death is too scared to let him know.

Famous British horse racing broadcaster John McCririck has died aged 79.

His funeral is at 10/1.

I have a 79.82% grade in my programming class

I have a C++

A man gave me 79 protons

Thanks for the gold!

79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words.

1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down

Are YOU the 21%?

A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning....

he wakes up and says to his crew, "AYE-matey!"

My 79 year old friend:

Some one honked at him and he yelled “your horn blows better than your mother!”

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen

79 million people are without access to drinkable water

Though on the bright side, the number is decreasing!

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If I had one dollar for every sexist joke I've made

I'd have 79 cents

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A young boy applied for a job at a store...

The store manager said: “We are looking for somebody with sales experience but we’re having a holiday sale tomorrow and you can give it a try.”

At the end of the day the manager checked the day sales and was shocked, the boy had sold $79,083.25 worth of merchandise.

He asked the boy ho...

Given that we live in an era of equality, it is only fair that for every 100 men drafted for the war...

We shall draft 79 women.

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.79

Deer nuts are just under a buck

''The Floor is lava''

~ Everyone, Pompeii, 79 A.D.

78!

A man is sitting at a bus stop waiting for his bus to go to work. There are no cars on the road, just a young boy in the middle of the street jumping on top of a manhole cover shouting, "78! 78! 78!"

The man notices the boy and asks him, "What are you doing in the middle of the street?"
...

The floor is lava!

Said everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.

Two men are at a joke convention.

One man at the convention stands and yells "23", and everyone laughs. Another stands and yells "57" and everyone continues laughing. A third stands and yells "243" and everyone is howling with laughter.

Mark turns to his friend and says "I'm confused, they're just saying numbers, why is every...

No dogs allowed here

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and...

Mr Bean and Einstein in a flight together.

Einstein: Hey Mr Bean, let's play a game. I would ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you will have to give me ten dollars. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it I would give you a thousand dollars.

Bean: Okay, we can play that.

Einstein: What's the percentage of Nitro...

A man is reading his book at the bus stop when a teenage girl sits next to him and starts crying.

The man doesn't look up from his book, but he hears the girl. She sounds really upset and, through tears, she says, "37."

The man finds this odd, but he's very interested in his book, so he disregards it. But the girl keeps crying--tears streaming down her face--until she finally yells out un...

A woman asked the grocer if he had any cucumbers.

He said, “Yep, they’re 79 cents each or two for a dollar.” She said, “Okay, give me two, I’ll eat one.”

"They said 'You'll never amount to anything, you aren't handsome enough to be a star, you're too short, you can't sing, you're not funny enough'"

"So anyway here's your medium Latte that'll be 3.79"

My new girlfriend is so tall

we have to 79

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A Texas Salesman

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"

"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll...

The people of Pompeii...

Mannequin challenge champions since 79 AD.

If I had a dollar for every post I’ve seen about NET neutrality...

...the rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for $79.99.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Jumpers. They went 79 stories in 10 seconds.

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Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex (i.e. right now);

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing;

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex;

FACT: A few less fortunate are reading emails & web postings;

You hang in there!

Mrs. Chang takes a 500 yuan bill to the bank to change for dollars

The teller makes the calculation and gives her $80.44.

Mrs. Chang returns the next Friday and puts a 500 yuan note on the counter. The teller puts down $79.94.

Mrs. Chang says "Last week you give me $80.44, but now I get $79.94. Tell me why it changed!"

The teller showed her t...

Immigrants see things differently

An immigrant from an Arab Muslim country was bragging that in HIS country there are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

Ray listened patiently. "That's amazing. Where I come from
there's really only one."

"Oh," sniffed the foreigner, "just one? And which way is that?"...

A man becomes suspicious that his wife is cheating on him

So he confronts her and she admits that there have been three points of time that she has been unfaithful.

He asks her what the first time was, and she says, "remember when you had your heart attack but couldn't figure out how we paid the doctor?"

He says, "I guess you saved my life, I...

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A man walks into a bar with an ostrich...

... and orders a shot.

"That'll be $2.40", said barman.
The man pulls out the exact amount, drinks the shot and leaves.
The next day, he walks into the same bar with the same ostrich and orders a meal. Barman comes for the charge of $8.79, so the man pulls out the exact amount and han...

Bubba n' Buford III

Bubba n' Buford jes left Texas A&M where they'd attend a seminar entitled "Advanced Composting" n' were a headin' back up Highway 79 towards east Texas. After a bit they got into an argument over whether Marquez was pronounced Mar-KEY or Mar-KAY. Well, they decided since they were about to go ...

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