I’m binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won’t let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

Those are only available on Amazon Prime.

Carlos was the proud owner of a Mexican Bed & Breakfast in Cancun...

It was founded by his Great-grandfather in the 1800s. He had come to Mexico from Spain and bought the run-down place with a loan from from a businessman back home. Through hard work and sheer determination, he had built the place up to a relatively successful B&B.

After his death, he lef...

3 idiots walk into a bar....

They all order a round of drinks and inform the bartender that they are celebrating.
The three idiots lift their glasses into the air and together they shout "53" and skull their drinks.
They continue to order drinks throughout the night and evey time they toast and yell "53"
Finally curios...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I heard that as a 40 yo. guy, I should have sex on average 53 times a year.

December is gonna be awesome!

If we granted statehood to DC, Guam, and Puerto Rico, we'd have 53 states.

We would literally be one nation, indivisible.

Suicide stop

Back on June 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a bar with my girlfriend last night and people kept calling me a pedophile, just because I'm 53 and she is 22...

...totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

USA should have 53 states so that it's indivisible, they say

... until they remember that it's still divisible by itself

A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....

A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.

Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?

The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said th...

John 7:53 OUTTAKE

As Jesus sat down at the temple to teach some of the people, a group of scribes and Pharisees confront him. They bring a woman accusing her of adultery and ask him whether the punishment for someone like her should be stoning:



Jesus: "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the fir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a 53 year old who has sex with a 9 year old?

1.6 billion people call him Muhammad.

A man is found dead surrounded by 53 bicycles. How did he die?

He had an ace up his sleeve.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Not 53 because my basement is still dark..

Breaking: Bus Carrying 53 KKK Members Overturns on I-95

There were some minor injuries, but they're all white

With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53.

One nation, indivisible.

Fun fact: Having friends gives you memory loss.

I read this in a textbook on page 53 at 4:37 PM on Friday May 12, 2006

The dying chemist tells his assistant..

To check the following numbers in the periodic table. Confused, but still wishing to follow his directions, he listens carefully and the chemist lists down the numbers, 10, 23, 47, 8, 7, 47, 53, 23, 63, 92, 15. After listung them down, the assistant tells the chemist he did it, and with a smile, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Corona Virus is like my virginity

My uncle has it.

(I know its not that funny but its 12:53 and it just popped into my head.)

A recent survey...

In a recent survey 53% of pet owners said they would let their pet sleep in their bed - I tried it once but the goldfish died

A man was struck by a bus on a busy street.

He knew his injuries were too severe to survive so, being a devout Catholic, he called for a priest to pray for him in his last moments. The surrounding crowd frantically searched the area for a priest, but none could be found. Finally, an elderly Jewish man stepped out of the crowd. “Now I’m not a ...

I asked my bitcoin investing friend...

... can you give me $10.00 worth of bitcoin?
My friend: why do you need $9.53 worth of bitcoin, what will you do with $10.46 worth of bitcoin?

Police won't stop anyone looting GameStop

Why would care about $18.53 in merchandise

A guy turns 61 and to cheer himself up he gets a facelift. It turns out really good and he goes back to work. On his first day he goes to Starbucks for coffee and decides to try it out: “Excuse me, can you tell me how old you think I am?”

It turns out really good and he goes back to work. On his first day he goes to Starbucks for coffee and decides to try it out: “Excuse me, can you tell me how old you think I am?” and the girl goes “I don’t know...53?” He says “ well that’s great, I’m actually 61.“ Later that day, he goes to McDonal...

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

I say let's do it, and find two more new states.

Then we'd have 53 states.

A nice PRIME number...

ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE

69

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

When my son learned about prime numbers, he told me that the Pledge of Allegiance would be better if we added three more states

Because 53 is indivisible.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, an ostrich, and a cat.

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?"
The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says, "O...

A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary

A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne.

A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, "Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

"Well," she replied, "since...

An elephant was drinking from a river...

When he noticed a turtle asleep on a log. He ambled up over and kicked it clear across the river.
'What did you do that for?' Asked a passing wombat.
'Because I recognised it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago'
'What a memory!!' Says the wombat.
'Yes,' said t...

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

The Detective's Conundrum

The detective walked into the smokey room. His assistant scurried in after. He took in the scene.

A dim light.
A flipped table.
And 53 bicycles laying all around the floor.

"It's apparent what he wrong here," the detective said.

"What is it?" asked the perplexed assist...

A guy walks into a doctor's waiting room...

A guy goes into a doctor's waiting room, and sees four old men. One of them suddenly shouts "39", and the others all start laughing. "That's strange", he thought. " 23", shouts another man, again followed by hysterics. "46" a third man shouted followed by further laughter.

"Why does everyone...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar ...

Old jokes

Sounds like this fits to here:

A new member joined to a joke club. People were sitting on chairs and one member said "13". People laughed a bit at that, while the new member was confused. Then someone else said "28". And everyone laughed a bit more. The new member was even more confused. Then...

A blond, brunette, and redhead get in a car accident.

A blond, brunette, and redhead get in a car accident. They all die and go to heaven. At the gates of heaven, they are met by a man who tells them that there is very little room there. He says that he will tell them 100 jokes, each progressively funnier than the next. Whoever can listen to all of the...

I walked up to the really depressed cashier.

He scanned all my items. I said, "So, what's the damage?"

"£42.53," he muttered.

I said, "I was referring to you."

A Recent Study Shows...

A recently conducted study revealed that 47% of women have used vibrators.

53% have new ones...

A golfer love story.

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband
reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said,
"Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I
have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful
to me?”

Martha...

A hobo got robbed

A hobo had been robbed and beaten into unconciousnes.
When he woke up he checked about his person for damages and missing items, and found that all injuries were superficial but he had lost all his belongings.
He stormed into the nearest police station.

"I want to report a robbery! al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New metals are added to chemistry

A new metal is added to chemistry:

• NAME

- Husband

• SYMBOL:

- Hb

• ATOMIC WEIGHT:

1. Light when found first
2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time

• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Boils at any time with inlaws
2. Can...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked up to service station night pay

I walked up to the service station night pay and said,
"pump 7 and a kit kat chunky"

The lady behind the glass walked off and came back and handed me a kit kat chunky and said, "that's $53.21 all together".

I looked at her in disgust and said, "I wanted a regular kit kat you fat cun...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.