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69 Jokes

69

A woman promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.

Before she ca...

What does 69 plus 69 equal ?

Dinner for 4

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

What is the square root of 69?

8 something

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The position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

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My girlfriend asked to do a 69

I said "what’s that?" she said "lay down an I’ll show you" so she went to squat over my face.

as she did she farted and jumped up and said "sorry" and then tried again, she then farted a 2nd time.

with that I jumped up an said "I’m off, I’m fucked if I’m hanging around for another 67 o...

A wife wants to try 69 with her husband

The husband says “what’s that”

“I’ll show you” the wife says

The wife then straddles the husbands face and farts. The wife then scurries off embarrassed.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to do that let me try again” says the wife

The wife straddles the husbands face and once again fa...

What do you call a triangle with angles 42.0°, 69° and 69°?

A Nice-osceles triangle.

What comes after 68? 69. Then what comes after 69?

Listerine.

Grandchild: grandma have you done 69 before? *grin*

Grandma: no honey, I did only 53, we live in a small community

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69 joke

A married couple where the woman is more experienced than the husband, likes to try new things regularly. One day the woman comes home and says “today we’re going to try 69”. The husband asks “what’s that?”. The wife says “don’t worry about it, just do what I say and it will be great!”. She...

The number 69

Some people think 69 is the perfect number, but the truth is that 9's tired of 6 coming first.

Why was 69 afraid of 70?

Because they once had a fight and 71.

My Dad is 69 approaching his 70s

He gets really worried because both his parents got Alzheimer’s around that age.

Tells me, son, if I ever start forgetting things or show any symptoms.. I j-ju-just know I can’t go through what they did.

So… please.. just … kill me.

“Dad that’s what you said 5 minutes ago”

What's 69 divided by 2?

Lonely

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What is the difference between 69 and a ballot paper ?

In 69 you have to look at only one .

Did you know that 69 is now 96?

With this worsening economy, it costs a lot more to eat out.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. below 69?

Your Honor.

Saw 2 druggies having a '69' in the park earlier.

He was on crack, she was on blow.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “69 Mating positions”.

Turns out it was about chess.

Husband: “hey honey, how about a 69 tonight?”

Wife: “the number you have dialed is not in service at this time”

Man hires a to try 69 for the first time

A man hires a and they go back to his hotel.

Man: "I have never had a 69 before".

: "okay lets try that."

They get into position and she farts.

: "o i'm sorry, i don't know whats gotten into me."

she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. she...

A few years ago I started a journal of different rocks I've found in the wilderness. For a while I was stuck with 68 entries, until I finally found number 69...

**Gneiss!**

Why is 6.9 the worst number？

It's a 69 interrupted by a period

So a village boy and a modern girl fall in love and want to try 69

The boy doesn’t know about 69 so the girl takes the lead.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises.

She squats down for another go but farts again, thi...

Today, me and my wife had a .69

It would have been a hundred times better without the period.

Where is the best place to 69 in France?

Nice.

Why is 77 better than 69?

Because you get 8 more.

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69

She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

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I asked my girlfriend to 69

She sighed and said, “how bout instead we 9p?”

I got really excited- “I’ve never done that before! How does it work?”

“Well, you lay that way, I lay this way, and then we go the to sleep”

TIL 69 originated in a city in the south of France

Nice

Meme numbers: 69, 420 and...

The OG number: 5318008 ;)

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I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night.

She said ' off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'

What’s 69 times 2?

Dinner for four.

Today I turned 69.

It didn't make a difference.

Son: Dad what is 69?

Dad: Hmmm... well son, it is a position where a man and a woman pleasure each other orally at the same time.

Son: So. What shall I write? Odd or even?

Dad:....

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69%

Of people find something in a sentence

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69% OF PEOPLE

Find something in this sentance and remaining 31% have had enough of 69 jokes for one day!

. I tell people my ex and I used to 96...

It's like 69, but you lay down facing away from each other and there's no touching.

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A cook gets married and the bride is a virgin.

On the wedding night, she cowers under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in bed and tries to gently reassure her.

“Darling,” he says, “I know this is your first time and you are very frightened but I promise you, I'll give you anyting you want, I'll do anyting you want. What ...

On a scale of 1-100, how mature are you?

69

69% of all statistics are made up

Every 69 I’ve ever been involved in was made up
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