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A girl was crazy about 69 position...

But she haven't tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After the dinner she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 posi...

[Nsfw] "Dad what is 69?" asks son

Dad: Well son, it a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally.
Son: So what shall I write? Odd or even.

69

A woman promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.

Before she ca...

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The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

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My favorite sex position is the 69. What's yours?

"The 68."

"What's the 68?"

"It's when you go down on me - - and I owe you one."

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My least favorite sexual position is COVID-69

The masks really take the sensation away.

What’s a 69?

A young lad doesn’t know what a 69 is, and approaches a hooker and asks what a 69 is.

“C’mon kid, I’ll show you”.
They proceed to her place, where they get undressed.

“Lie on the bed, and I’ll sit on your face “.
As she jumps on, she lets out a great big dirty stinking fart, that...

What does 69 plus 69 equal ?

Dinner for 4

Favorite Math joke (NSFW). What’s the square root of 69?

8 something

Man hires a hooker to try 69 for the first time

A man hires a hooker and they go back to his hotel.

Man: "I have never had a 69 before".

Hooker: "okay lets try that."

They get into position and she farts.

Hooker: "o i'm sorry, i don't know whats gotten into me."

she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. she...

What do you call a triangle with angles 42.0°, 69° and 69°?

A Nice-osceles triangle.

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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Mark remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide.The dentist ...

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My girlfriend asked to do a 69

I said "what’s that?" she said "lay down an I’ll show you" so she went to squat over my face.

as she did she farted and jumped up and said "sorry" and then tried again, she then farted a 2nd time.

with that I jumped up an said "I’m off, I’m fucked if I’m hanging around for another 67 o...

Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

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When a man and a woman have simultaneous oral sex, we call it 69. What do we call it if it is two men in a similar position?

Eleven.

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How does 69 differ from a family reunion?

During 69, you only see 1 asshole!

I had to go to the doctors' yesterday, because every time I 69 the wife I get a terrible headache after a couple of minutes.

He suggested we do it lying down.

The number 69

Some people think 69 is the perfect number, but the truth is that 9's tired of 6 coming first.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. below 69?

Your Honor.

How do a violinist and a cellist perform a 69?

The cellist fingers the G with some vibrato, and the violinist is doing a bouncing spiccato on the D.

Meme numbers: 69, 420 and...

The OG number: 5318008 ;)

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A man wanted to try 69 with his girlfriend

Right in the middle the man realizes he has a dentist appointment. So he pops up and heads to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth 3 times. He uses mouth wash twice and flosses once for good measure.

He gets to the dentist office just in time and his dentist calls him in. Dentist says open wid...

Wife just asked me if i wanted to 69 for my birthday

I said just the 6 please

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash

A young Chinese couple got married.

In the hotel room that evening, the bride blushed demurely: "I am very shy. Please, husband, tell me what to do."

The husband, a gentle and thoughtful young man said: "Why don't you tell me what you might like to do?"

The blushing bride hesitated before replying: "Well ... husband, uhm...

Queen Elizabeth ascended to the throne 69 years ago today. When asked for comment, Boris Johnson replied,

"Nice."

Do you know whats better than 69?

88...because you get 8 twice

Why was 69 afraid of 70?

Because they once had a fight and 71.

It's never EVER a good idea to fart during a 69.

That's how they found me underneath their bed.

A few years ago I started a journal of different rocks I've found in the wilderness. For a while I was stuck with 68 entries, until I finally found number 69...

**Gneiss!**

What do you call having a 69 with a short girl ?

10,077,696
.
.
.
.
6⁹= 10,077,696

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

When she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

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I asked my German wife to give me a 69...

She replied, “Sex, Nein!”

TIL 69 originated in a city in the south of France

Nice

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A young man turns 18

His uncle offers to take him to the local brothel for his birthday. The young man happily agrees hoping to finally lose his virginity.

They show up at the brothel and the young man is brought back to a private room by a very beautiful woman.

Woman: “You can undress and lay on the bed...

I was so ecstatic to receive an OnlyFans discount that was 69% off, but my friend keeps making fun of it.

I told him that he's just jealous because he's not eligible for that family discount.

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Dyslexic

My wife and I are both dyslexic.
She purchased that Kama Sutra sex book for us to try.

We mixed up the 69 for 96 and spent the whole night farting on the back of each other’s heads.

I had a 69 with my son's teacher,

wait, he's homeschooled. Nevermind.

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Couple doing 69 NSFW

A married couple are doing 69 when they hear a knock on the door. The husband looks outside and sees it's only the paperboy and returns to the bed. The paperboy knocks again. The husband gets pissed off and puts on his robe. Before he leaves the room his wife notices that she has started her period ...

I'm 31% dad jokes

And 69% dirty jokes

What is the definition of trust?

Two cannibals doing 69.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “69 Mating positions”.

Turns out it was about chess.

A girl wanted to have 69 with new boyfriend

He said he hasn’t done it before and she agreed to guide him.

The girl got on top and a while later, she let out a fart. She apologised for the mishap and they started again. It was tough luck for the guy as she farted for a second time. She was red with shame. They decided to resume shortly....

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

What's 6.9?

A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period.

I took a maturity test,

And the results came back as 69% mature

In Half-Life 2, European cities were renamed with numbers - e.g. most events are in City 17; there is also City 69, formerly known as

Nice.

Policeman: How could you kill...

...69 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into t...

My Wife and I must be getting older. The meaning of 69 has changed ...

Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes.

69% of all statistics are made up

Every 69 I’ve ever been involved in was made up

Upper class people avoid using the term "69" as they feel it's uncouth...

They refer to it as "181".

I'm 32 but my wife turns 69

If I ask her politely.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Today, me and my wife had a .69

It would have been a hundred times better without the period.

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69% OF PEOPLE

Find something sexual in this sentance and remaining 31% have had enough of fucking 69 jokes for one day!

What do you call it when you round up 69 sheep?

70 sheep.

Men in black. After years of serving MIB, agent K, 69, found himself too old to deal with an alien drug lord. He decided to seek help from his younger self. Why did he travel to sixty years ago?

K, 9.

How does 69 feel to the average Redditor?

nice

Today marks 69 days until the US Presidential Election...

...nice

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My woman wanted to try new things to spice up sex.

I told her to come over and I would show her the improvement on the 69. She got pissed when I told her it's called the 68. You suck my dick and I owe you one.

My dad told me it was 69° outside...

I told him it was a nice temperature.

Take a night off

The married owners of a Chinese restaurant have been working hard and decide to take a night off to get their love life back on track.

As things heat up in the bedroom the wife, feeling adventurous, whispers "How about a 69?".

Her husband responds "Why do you want me to make Sweet and ...

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If I had a dollar for every sex joke I have heard

I would have $69

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Why is 70 grossed out by 69?

Because his forehead smells like ass.

What's the best European city to 69 in?

Nice

Sorry.

69

What's the worst thing about doing 69 with someone, the view!

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69%

Of people find something sexual in a sentence

Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier today...

He was on crack, she was on blow...

It's 69 degrees right now in December

I didn't realize it would be this nice out

You’ve heard of a 69, but have you heard of a 71?

It’s like a 69, but with two watching.

A Chinese woman suggests to her husband that they should 69

The husband replies..."But isnt it a bit late for beef and broccoli?"

It took a lot of work and thousands of hours from thousands of people, but the human race made sure to get to the moon by ‘69.

Nice.

A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All...

...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support “69 for All”

I got 69 out of 75 in my exam.

I was expecting nice comments but I only got ‘nice’ comments.

Things were going really well with this lovely Chinese girl I'd taken home when she asked if there was anything I'd like. I said "I'd love a 69"

She slapped my face, burst into tears and threw me out, screaming "You bloody men are all the same...!

"I'm not making beef and broccoli at this time of night!"

It was a dark and rainy night and the stranger was soaked through to the skin

When he chanced upon a remote monastery. He went up and knocked on the old wooden door. There was nothing but silence from within. So he knocked again, this time a little louder. still, there was nothing but silence from within. So this time he hammered on the door with all his strength. And for the...

My husband keeps insisting we try 69

but I think we should keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter.

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A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

What do you get with water at 69 degrees?

Noice

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Premature Ejaculation Problem

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were ha...

You know the difference between 68 & 69 ? 🇨🇦

Blow me and I owe you 1

It's 69 degrees outside

Feels good.

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Yes I get all the cool numbers- 420 is a weed thing, 69 is a sex thing...

and 9:45 is bedtime.

Paddy and Mary decide to try a 69

Paddy's never done it before so Mary says she'll show him.

She tells him to lay on the floor and squats over him.
As she's lowering herself down she farts. Apologizing, she tries again and farts again.

Paddy jumps up and storms out, yelling "I'll be fooked if I'm hanging around f...

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