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On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

Chun Li: Can I ask you a question?

Ken: SURE-YOU-CAN!!!

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

Imagine if we started replacing 'i' with 'li'

It would be lit.

"Chun Li, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Where's Beth's dog?"

"Dare."

So, This is a very famous joke from my country ,I hope to see the response

A conference for who the best actor in the world was held, Actors from all around the world came to take part in the competition.There were many qualifier rounds but then only 5 actors remained in the finals.

The final contest was decided to be a manual cow milking competition. The rules were...

A young Chinese man is asking a wise monk:

"Master Chong-Li, why does everyone think we Asian people all look the same?"

and he responds: "Who the hell is master Chong-Li?"

Another Sunday joke!

A man went to a job interview a a door to door Bible sales company. This man had a real bad stutter but the guy doing the hiring thought he would give him a chance.

After 2 weeks the new guy was out selling all the other sales people by double! The box came to him on a Friday evening and to...

People never seem to remember Jet Li's weaker, pacifist brother...

Gent Li.

Ryu wanted to confess to his lady-crush Chun Li....

So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"

What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes?

That he has a sense of tumor



(Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals

IM LIVID

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An American, a Russian, and a Chinese

An American, a Russian, and a Chinese each got stranded on an uninhabited island.

Just as they started to lose hope, God visits all three of them. And gave each of them a food supply good for 1 month, a dog and a task. Their task was to make the dog learn how to speak human language when he c...

I almost got fired at the cement plant today...

But corporate realized that they didn't have concrete evidence to fire me.

How do you call a lion powered on battery?

A Li-ion.

What did x æ a-12 got when he was given a lithium iron battery, to reboot himself?

Li-Fe

1 in every 5 people is Chinese

I know that I'm not Chinese, and my parents aren't Chinese.

So it's either my brother Li Xiu Ying, or my brother Kyle.

I think it's Kyle.

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A young man meets with a Kung Fu Master...

"People say you are the greatest Kung Fu Master in the world. Please, teach me Kung Fu."



The Kung Fu Master, quite frankly, was too lazy to take on an apprentice, but he had a reputation to keep. So, he said:



"I will teach you Kung Fu, but I do not take on pupils now. C...

Street Performance

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."<...

Did you hear what happened to Lithium?

He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar.

Have you heard about that new Native American rapper?

He calls himself Li’l Bighorn.

What do you call an Asian that is born early?

Suden li

This was the most Superbowlly Super Bowl ever

*Super Bowl LI

I partied with lithium tantalum fluoride

it was LiTaF

Teacher : Who's your favourite Actor?

Me: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Teacher: Spell it?!
Me: only joking its Jet Li

What do you call a Chinese guy who has difficulty standing?

Li-Ning

A man enters in a bar and the bartender asks him:<<Good Morn.. morn.. morning... What would.. you.. you.. like.. to.. to.. drink..?

And the man:<<Yeah... I would li.. li.. like a co.. co.. coffee, please.>>
After a while, another man comes in and recognize the first man and starts talking to him:<<Yo, dude how's going? What are you doing here?>> And the first man:<<Nothing important. Just chillin...

What's an uneducated person's least favorite fruit?

The Li-berry

Bob Had Terrible BO...

And no matter how much he washed or scrubbed, he couldn't get rid of it. He tried hundreds of soaps and shampoos but nothing seemed to work. He showered five times a day, kept the AC on 24/7 and avoided garlic and beans like the plague, but alas people still gagged as they walked behind him.

...

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A man went to see a doctor about his stutter...

"Y-you gotta he-help me doc, I c-c-can't live li-like this an-any more!"

The doctor says, "not to worry, we'll do a full body examination and get to the bottom of this."

After the examination, he tells the man, "I've found the cause of the problem. You see, your penis is so large that ...

I once had a roommate who was an amputee and had a bad habit of stating the obvious.

We nicknamed him Legless. One day, he grew tired of this joke and insisted that we call him by his name, 'Li'. So now we call him Gimpli.

What city has many apples?

Many-apple-lis

(Minneapolis)

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So there was this horny chicken who loved to fuck!

His owner was so sick of him, he finally sold him to a poultry farm.

Within a day of arriving he fucked each and every hen available there..

The new owner was shocked by the sight of it.

Next day he found the horny chicken has fucked each and every pig available at the farm!...

A man visits his Chinese friend in a hospital.

"Li kai yang qi guan," says the Chinese friend. The man doesn't understand a single word and becomes desperate about what to say next. "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as his face becomes red. After a few weeks, the man goes on a business tour of China. There he learns the meaning of "Li kai...

A Chinese spy wearing a tuxedo walks into a Russian bar.

He says to the bartender, “The name is Wong. Li Wong. I’ll have a martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

“Gin or vodka?” Asks the bartender.

“Surprise me.” Replies Li.

The bartender makes the martini, gives it to Li and says, “If you can guess the name of the alcohol, it’s on th...

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A woman goes to the doctor... [NSFW]

A woman goes to the doctor and says "By Hubbanb li nadal deck."
The doctor is baffled and says, "I'm sorry, I can't understand you at all."
The patient takes a deep breath and tries to speak a bit more clearly: "My hubband like nadal decks."
The doctor realises what she is trying to say. "Y...

What does a dalek do in the shower

*ex-fo-li-ate*

What's a sheep's favourite holiday destination?

It's not the Baa-hamas... Its not Baa-li... Its not Baa-arbados...

It's Devon

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

The Stuttering Bible Salesman

A man had just accepted his new job as a door-to-door Bible salesman and was introducing himself to his new co-workers.

It quickly became clear that the man had a severe stutter and the other workers began to make fun of him for it. But by the end of the week when the man had sold over 1,000 ...

How much do you charge a british centurian for a drink?

LI quid

What’s a European cat’s favorite breakfast?

Mews-li.

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Wisdom of the Buddha

So a man is looking for enlightenment and he reads and studies and learns all he can but he hits a wall. He just can't seem to learn any more so he decides to go to tibet to speak to one of the masters there. He climbs a mighty mountain and sees the master meditating on top, like you see in movies a...

What did Snoop Dogg change his name to when he got into R/C racing?

Snoop *Li-ion*.

Little Red Riding Hood is hopping along merrily in the woods...

... when she sees the big bad wolf crouching behind a bush. She says "My, Mr Wolf, what big ears you have!"

The big bad wolf gets up and runs away.

A few minutes later, it's the big, bad wolf again, crouched behind a different bush. "My, Mr wolf, what big eyes you have!"

The ...

Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery?

Because they're always Li-ion!

A man was going for a holiday to Acapulco, Mexico...

But since he does not speak any Spanish, he is a bit worried if he will be alright.

He talks to an old friend about his worries and the friend tells him "Don't worry! Spanish is not so hard to speak. Many words are similar to english, so if you just speak slowly enough, I'm sure they will und...

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