What happens to a Jewish boy's foreskin as he reaches his coming of age?

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I like to tell dick jokes, but not foreskin jokes...

They always go over people's heads.

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I recently read an article in a scientific journal about a little boy who was born without eyelids so they used his foreskin to make him some.

Now he’s cockeyed.

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A doctor has been doing circumcisions for 30 years, and he's collected all the foreskins. (NSFW)

He has them all in a box, and decides he should do something with them. He takes them to a taxidermist and asks him to make something out of them.

A few weeks later, he returns to the taxidermist, who pulls out a small box and sets it on the counter. The doctor opens the box and there is a wa...

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My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

What do you call a knight with no foreskin?

Sir-cumcised

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I had to go to the hospital to help my wife deliver a baby

While I was there my wife suddenly started freaking out about what if the baby came out with a birth defect. Everything was going through her head from it having six toes to having three heads. Eventually it got bad enough that a doctor had to come in and calm her down. Her first question was what w...

Bacon is like foreskin

The muslims can't have it.

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day in...

What’s the difference between foresight and foreskin?

If you have foresight, you see something coming. If you have foreskin, nobody sees you coming.

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One of the first steps toward becoming a man...

One day, the father of a young boy decides that it's time to teach his son how to pee standing up.

"Alright, son, this is one thing that will help you become a man. It's a privilege we have that women do not, so it's important to take advantage of it. All you have to do is follow these nine s...

A foreskin walks into a bar...

The bartender immediately says, "hey wait! I cut you off an hour ago!"

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Why did the circumcised foreskin have trouble making friends?

He was a bit of a dick.

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Did you hear about the little boy born with no eyelids?

After they circumcised him the attached the leftover foreskin to his eyes and made new eyelids.

The doctors said he would be alright..

..just a little cock-eyed.

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[NSFW] I once knew a man who was born with no eyelids. They had to use his foreskin to make new ones...

You could say he was a little cockeyed!

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What do they use to chop off your foreskin

Circumsizzors

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My wife has this weird kink, where she loves to bite and suck my foreskin after sex

Kind of makes me wish I threw it out after the circumcision

Pulling back the foreskin should have a better name

Unsheathing the baby maker, for example

Did you hear about the knight who used to take his slain enemies' foreskins as trophies?

His name was Sir Cumcision

Hey, check out my foreskin.

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Medical science has come a long way.

There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the foreskin from new born males and create eyelids for those born without ...

A poor Jewish tailor has a son...

So he goes to see the mohel and tells him, "My son must be circumcised, but I have no money to pay you."
After thinking for a moment, the mohel gets a huge jar from his shelf and gives it to the tailor. "For all my years as a mohel, I haven't known what to do with all the foreskins, so I put the...

What is the worlds biggest drawback?

A whales foreskin.

I have a post about foreskin but you have to be quick!

Hurry before it gets removed!

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My wife came home after a long day in the operating room and told me about a patient she had that required eyelid transplants. With no other options they were forced to use skin from the man’s foreskin to complete the transplant...

Apparently he came out a little cock-eyed

What was the name for that stuff that builds up under foreskin again?

It's on the tip of my tongue.

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Did you hear about that baby that was born without one of his eye-lids? they used part of his foreskin to replace it.

He’ll be alright, just a little cock-eyed.

What did people call the knight who lost his foreskin during a battle?

Sir. Cumcision

I tried to post a joke about foreskin earlier...

but it got removed

Did you hear about the foreign government growing potatoes in their foreskin?

Bunch of dictators.

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I had a friend that was born without eyelids, his doctor used the foreskin from his circumcision to make him some.

The surgery was a great success, he's just a little cock eyed.

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A guy from IRS shows up at the rabbi's house

"So, you produce a lot of waste during your ceremonies that could potentially be sold for profit but it's missing from your books, how do you account for that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the matzo bread you eat... It's awfully dry, it must surely leave a lot of crumbs... What do you d...

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A woman just gave birth to a baby boy. Unfortunately....

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." ...

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Boy Born Without Eyelids Undergoes Graft Surgery Using His Own Foreskin

Doctors say, "He's fine now, just a little cock-eyed."

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Did you hear about the Jewish man who kept drawing on his penis?

He was told for good hygiene you have to draw back your foreskin.

Regarding myself: I must confess to my one and only draw-back, and it's a fairly massive one...

It's my foreskin.

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A boy was born with a rare condition called ablepharia..

It’s were the child is born without eyes lids. The doctor tells the parents that there is a new surgical treatment were they take the foreskin of the circumcision to create new eye lids. The parents asks how successful the surgery has been.

The doctor says “The surgery itself is pretty simp...

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What do you call uncircumcised neo-nazis?

Foreskin heads

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*BREAKING NEWS* A baby is born without eyelids, and doctors use his foreskin to replace them.

The surgery was a success. The baby should make a full recovery, but he will always be a little cockeyed.

On their last day, a group of tourists traveling around Australia decide to go to a souvenir shop.

Everyone’s shopping for cool stuff until one lady stops and wonders why two absolutely identical wallets cost $100 and $1000 respectively. To which the owner replies, “They may look identical to you, Madam, but the 100-dollar wallet is made of crocodile skin, whereas the 1000-dollar one is made of c...

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Did anyone else hear about the baby who was born recently, without eyelids? The doctors actually used his foreskin to make a pair of lids for him.

It was an experimental procedure, and it worked great!.... except now he's all cock-eyed.

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So a man had his eye lids burned off in a fire and the doctors used a new procedure to replace them with his foreskin

He came out just fine besides being a little cockeyed.

A Rabbi had been saving foreskin

He wanted to make something nice out of his collection so he brought them to leather tanner. When he goes to pick up his product he's surprised that all his foreskin collection only produced a coin purse. The leather tanner explained that if you rub the coin purse it turns into a duffel bag.

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My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed foreskin...

Only side effect is she's a little cock-eyed now.

Did you hear about the Rabbi who kept all of the foreskins from the circumcisions he did and sewed them into a wallet?

Whenever he took a vacation and needed a suitcase, he would just stroke the wallet a few times.

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TIL Doctors have successfully grafted eye lids on a patient using foreskin.

The surgery went well, but now she's a little cock eyed.

Retiring Dr.

A doctor who delivered thousands of babies over his career is finally retiring. He had an odd habit but whenever he circumcised a baby boy he would throw the foreskin in a large gallon jar of formaldehyde. As he is cleaning out his office there sits this large Jar and he begins to think "What can I...

A rabbi had worked for many years as a mohel performing circumcisions...

He collected all the foreskins he had cut over his career and brought them to a leather maker after he retired.

He brings the foreskins to the best leather maker in town and says “Make me whatever you can with these.” Surprised but undaunted, the leather maker says “Okay, come back in a week ...

I got a job making wallets out of elephant foreskins

If you rub the wallet it turns into a suitcase.

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A father decides it's time to teach his young son how to pee standing up...

So he brings his son into the bathroom.

"Son, it's a 7 step process. Step 1: you unzip your pants. Step 2: you pull your penis out. Step 3: you pull back your foreskin. Step 4: you go pee. Step 5: you push your foreskin back over your penis. Step 6: you put your penis back in your pants. And ...

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NSFW Back in the 1990’s, a baby boy was born without eyelids.

His parents go to a plastic surgeon and the surgeon finds out the boy hasn’t been circumcised yet.

The foreskin has nearly the same tissue as the eyelids, so the surgeon suggests a procedure using the baby’s foreskin to fix this problem.

Ecstatic, the parents agree.

After a few...

A retiring obstetrician takes the bag of foreskins he collected during his career to a taxidermist.

The taxidermist looks at the thousands of dried up bits of skin and then looks quizzically at the obstetrician -- who says "I don't know, just make something nice with them."

A couple months later, the taxidermist calls to say that the souvenir of the obstetrician's career is ready. When the ...

A joke my dad told me. With my twist.

A Jewish circumcision doctor once had a jar full of the skin he had circumcised over the last few hours. He went to a new leatherworker he had heard about that could use the leftover skin. So the Jewish doctor thought he would try and reuse, reduce, and recycle.

The doctor met with the leathe...

How do you eat a banana?

*Peel back the foreskin*

Our Math teacher gave us a tough question to answer.

"John was born with four different skin colors, what is the total percentage for each skin colors?"

I failed since i answered " foreskin %"

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There was a baby boy born without eyelids ...

To remedy his everlasting stare, when it came time to purge the foreskin, it was fashioned into a new set of eyelids. I guess that's what it means to be cockeyed.

Here's a joke about circumcised foreskins.

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I was born without eyelids, so they created them from my foreskin...

Now I’m a little cock-eyed.

My dad has a lazy eye and tells this joke when someone asks about it.

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I had to have foreskin removed when I was thirteen

My sister was born with no eyelids and the doctor suggested making them out of foreskin.
Worked awesome, she can blink and wink normally. Only thing is that she is a bit cockeyed...

Lampshades are just a lamps foreskin!

That's all I wanted to say.... Thanks

I don't understand the concept of foreskin

It goes right over my head

A Rabbi is thinking to himself one day...

"What do I do with all of these foreskins?"

As a Rabbi, he had accumulated at least a thousand foreskins and was stumped at what to do with them. Finally, he decides to take all of these foreskins to a leather worker to see if the leather worker could make something out of them.

The ...

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Kid born without eyelids

Just saw in the news that a kid at a nearby hospital was born without any eyelids.

Poor little guy had a hard time sleeping until a doc fixed his issue by using the baby's foreskin to create eyelids.

Kid is doing alright now. He's just a little cockeyed.

A rabbi performs a circumcision...

A rabbi performs a circumcision but, absentmindedly, puts the foreskin in his pocket.

After the ceremony, he joins the family to celebrate at a local restaurant.

As they are leaving, the rabbi finds the foreskin still in his pocket and comes back into the restaurant to dispose of it....

A mohel (circumcising rabbi) walks into a luggage store . . .

He lays what looks like a leather bag on the counter. The clerk looks at it and asks, “What is it?”

“I collected all the foreskins I trimmed over the years, and sewed them together. It’s a change purse.”

The clerk looked disgusted. “I can’t imagine any customer buying that!”

“Wa...

Why do lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin down.

A synagogue is being audited by the IRS

The auditor was really eager to catch the Rabbi with wasting charity funds.

Auditor - what do you do with the candle drippings?

Rabbi - we collect it and send it back to the candle company. Every once in a while, they send us back new candles.

Auditor - when you're finished ea...

A father is teaching his boy how to pee in the toilet.

"OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.

1. Pull down your pants.
2. Pull back your foreskin.
3. Pee in the toilet.
4. Put your foreskin back.
5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father no...

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A mohel (guy who does circumcisions) is retiring after a long 50 year career...

A mohel (guy who does circumcisions) is retiring after a long 50 year career...

For shits and giggles, every time he did a circumcision he saved the foreskin and put in a giant jar he kept in the back of his office. After 50 years he has a full jar of foreskins, and he figures he can use them...

At the steak house my wife exclaims, "Stop playing with your knife! You'll hurt yourself!" I reply, "These knives are so dull ...

A Rabbi would be furious and a foreskin would be irritated."

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Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids?

The doctors chose to use foreskin for the grafts because the skin was so similar.

I suppose you could say the boy is cock-eyed.

Did you guys know that Steve from Minecraft has a 16 skin?

That's because his foreskin is squared.

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Have you heard about the baby born without eyelids?

The doctor took the baby's foreskin and and created perfect eyelids.

"Oh, my goodness! This is amazing news!

Will there be any long term effects?" the Mother asked.

"Well" the Doctor replied, "He may be a bit cock-eyed".

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A baby was born

A baby was born without any eyelids. The doctor that delivered the baby called a surgeon in for help. The surgeon decided to use the baby's foreskin to create eyelids.

The surgeon asked the OB, "How does he look?"

The OB looked at the boy and said, "He looks a little cockeyed."

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Our local hospital made medical history.

A boy was born with no eyelids.When they circumsised him they were able to take the foreskin and graft it above his eyes for,wholla,eye lids.The operation was successfull, although ,he might come out a little cockeyed.

The Circumcision Surgeon

A surgeon retires from his long career as a specialist in circumcision.

Throughout his career, he has saved hundreds of foreskins as mementos and now wishes to turn them into a souvenir.

He takes his specimens to a leathersmith and asks him to make something out of them.

A...

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Born with no eyelids

( I usually start this one off by casually asking if someone has been keeping up with the news)

Oh, did you see the story about the missionaries that adopted that baby that was born with no eyelids?

No? It was pretty interesting. So, check it out, this group of missionaries was wor...

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Circumsized men have a higher chance of developing clairvoyance.

When you lose one sense, the other senses make up for it.

Foreskin lost, foresight gained.

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The local synagogue is having their taxes audited...

The IRS agent goes through the audit normally, and finds nothing wrong with the synagogue's taxes. Eager to find something amiss, he looks around and sees the candles burning. "Rabbi Rabinowitz," he begins, "what do you do with the drippings from the candles you burn?"
The Rabbi quickly repli...

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