I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.

I just handed in my too weak notice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish Frasier would have a show about a copy editor in 1942 Germany that's blind, bilingual, narcoleptic, and obsessed with weights and measures.

He'd be a Grammar Grammer gram-er Nazi not-see nod si.

Elon musk should tweet about my weight

So it would plummet, too.

Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds...

Right on my big toe. It’s broken now I can hardly walk

There was a man who took very good care of his body. Every day he lifted weights and jogged 6 miles.

One day, he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over, apart from on his ‘thing’.

So, he decided to do something about it…

He went to the beach, took off all his clothes and buried himself in the sand, except for his ‘thing’ which he left sticking out.

Two old...

What's the difference between garbage and a home gym's weights during the COVID quarantine?

The garbage gets picked up once a week.

Which weights more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

Been lifting weights without much results. Saw a super ripped trainer at the gym and asked him how he got so jacked . . .

He paused and then said 'Let me show you the whey'.

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