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Wars Jokes

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom

My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out.

But she pulled some strings and got me in.

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

Star wars joke

Han solo: Yoda are we going the right way?
Yoda: Off course we are

My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...

... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

What did Yoda say when he saw Star Wars in 4k?

>!HD … MI!<

Happy Star Wars Day/Cinco de Mayo

Chewie today, Chuy tomorrow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's masturbation called in the star wars universe?

Hand Solo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call Mike Tyson if he was a villain in Star Wars?

A Tit Lord

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

An important thing to remember about the Peloponnesian Wars.

Neither side was "good" or "bad"

In fact there were gyros on both sides!

Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Luke-Warm

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

Chuck Norris plays a very important role in star wars

he's the force.

[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han....

Tell Leia after they separated?

-----


*May Divorce be with you.*

I dont enjoy Andor, but it has nothing to do with Star Wars...

...I'm just not a fan of conjunctions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is Star Wars like a penis?

Luke and Leia are force kin.

A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.

"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.

"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."

"But," stutte...

My local KFC will be celebrating Star Wars day on May 4th with an Anakin special.

It’s an extra crispy chicken with no legs and only one wing.

A warrior's job is to fight in wars

A gladiator's job is to make people smile

If women rule the world, there would be no wars...

Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other....

Many people say that Finland started wars.

I thought they Finnish them.

What Star Wars charactor likes orange juice the most?

Emperor Pulpatine

A Star Wars Christmas

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

What do you call a Star Wars themed bubble tea party?

A Boba Fête

A naked cowboy wars into a bar.

Bartender says " I say,...I say boy why don't you have any clothes on ?"

Cowboy says "I found the most beautiful girl in the barn laying in the hay with her legs spread.

Bartender says "Wow! but what's that got to do with you being in front of me with your dingle dangling?"

The ...

I want to find a girlfriend who's into Star Wars

I've been looking for love in Alderaan places.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

Disney / Star Wars crossovers suck.

I just watched the most boring crossover ever.

Nothing even happens in Han Solo's "Frozen in Carbonite"

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that…

- My friend received a predeclined credit card in the mail.
- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned ...

You know Darth Maul from Star Wars?

He's only half the man he used to be.

My wife loves Star Wars...

so last night we watched all the Mandalorian, back to back!

Luckily, I was the one facing the TV...

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

I saw a Star wars action figure in a Corolla today

It was a toy Yoda in a Toyota

Why don't Star Wars characters go to church?

They're scared of the *pews*

French Star Wars fans have something to look forward to every week....

Each Thursday is the Return of the Jeudi.

What's the difference between Star Wars fans and Star Wars haters?

the fans enjoyed 2 of the movies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like star wars:

Its either Han Solo,

or i have to use the force.

I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.

It was a Wookie mistake.

Bad VR star wars joke

So there's a guy playing at VR game his friend walks into the room and sees him swinging his hands around like he's swinging a lightsaber and he assumes he's playing beat saber and judging from the height of his swings there are a lot of low blocks his friend taps hin on the shoulder and says hey ca...

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

Did you know Mr. T is a big Star Wars fan?

So much so that he named his kid Boba.

What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?

R2 Detour.

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?

It’s about the chosen Juan.

[long] Grandpa tells his stories of his time in the war

Susie's fifth-grade class was studying history, and she got permission to bring her grandfather in to class so they could hear his stories of being a wartime fighter pilot over Germany.

"We were the best fighter squad, given all the most dangerous missions," he told them. "Once, Jerry caught ...

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