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Wartime Jokes

A meeting in Stalin's office during wartime. Suddenly, the phone rings.

Stalin takes it:

\- This is Comrade Stalin.

(Pause)

\- Ah, hello, Comrade Churchill.

(Pause)

\- No.

(Pause)

\- No.

(Pause)

\- No.

(Pause)

\- No.

(Pause)

\- Yes.

(Pause)

\- No.

(Pause)
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wartime meeting

At the height of WWII on the Eastern front, a high-level meeting takes place in the Kremlin between Stalin and the marshals on the situation on their respective fronts. When the meeting ends, Zhukov is the first one to step out. As he does so, he mutters under his breath "Fucking mustachioed piece o...

During wartime, two recruits are talking

- So, why did you enlist?
- I'm young, single and child free, I want to see some action and aventure! What about you?
- I'm married and have 4 children. I want some peace.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wartime injuries (NSFW)

A general is visiting troops in the hospital during wartime. He walks up to the first bed and asks the soldier what he is in for. The soldier replies, "Chronic gonorrhea, sir." The general asks how he is treating it. The soldier replies, "15 minutes a day with a wire brush, sir." The general asks wh...

I hear Marks and Spencer are embracing the wartime spirit.

Personally I think it's a step to far, bit if it takes bombing Germany then so be it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you do when, during wartime, a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Catch it, pull out the pin, throw it back.

In 1946, Winston Churchill travelled to Fulton, Missouri.

He was there to deliver a speech and to present at the dedication of a bust in his honour.

After his speech, an attractive and ample woman approached the wartime Prime Minister of England and said, "Mr. Churchill, I have travelled over a hundred miles for the unveiling of your bust."

C...

During wartime, the Philippine flag is flipped upside down so the red part is on top

The same thing is done with the French flag, but instead they remove the red and blue colors

[long] Grandpa tells his stories of his time in the war

Susie's fifth-grade class was studying history, and she got permission to bring her grandfather in to class so they could hear his stories of being a wartime fighter pilot over Germany.

"We were the best fighter squad, given all the most dangerous missions," he told them. "Once, Jerry caught ...

After World War II, as part of an exercise in comparative doctrine, three mid-ranking officers were asked...

>"Please give your response, in the context of your wartime service, to an infantryman's query "what happens if we run out of ammunition?".

The British officer gave some nonsense about maintaining a stiff upper lip and leading a singalong.

The German officer explained that he would ...

The military will save money by drafting young adults

And letting them pay for wartime wounds with their own healthcare.

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