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Workforce Jokes

EDD doubled their workforce to handle rising jobless claims

Now they can hang up on you in half the time.

Bored with the carefree life, Timon and Pumbaa decide to join the workforce as software engineers

On their first day at work, Pumbaa's code keeps returning errors for several hours. Finally, Timon says: "Why don't you take a break? I'll fix you some bugs."

I feel like the workforce is getting dumber at my company every time they hire someone...

It's like they're constantly bringing moron.

Donald Trump wanted to repaint the White House...

Donald Trump wanted to repaint the White House, and received three quotes:

Mexican contractor: 3 million
Italian Contractor: 7 million
Israeli Contractor: 10 million

After a while Trump asked the
Mexican - Why did you ask for 3 million.
The Mexican said:-One million in pain...

How do you reduce the amount of workers' compensation claims by 25%?

Fire 50% of the workforce.

How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That depends on the amount of workforce initiated by the individual and the amount of money given to the cult.

There's all this talk about the lack of women in STEM, but it's always been surprising how no one bats an eye at USPS.

After all, their workforce consists entirely of mail trucks.

Little Johnny has an assignment from school to describe society and how it works. (Long)

Now, being a little kid he had no idea what to do, so he asked his dad for help. His dad said “ OK, so first think of me as the President, your mum as the Congress, the maid as the workforce and your baby brother as the future. Now see what happens and write that up.”

So Johnny did this and f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four women went to a vocational testing facility...

Four women went to a vocational testing facility to determine what skills they have that could be useful in the workforce. They entered a room where an instructor greeted them.

"Hello ladies!" the instructor said. "Our process is actually very simple. I will give you five letters, and each of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher told the kid to ask his dad about the government.

Kid goes home and asks his dad -
"What is the government?"

The dad replied -
"Suppose I am the president, your mother is the congress, the maid is the workforce and your younger brother is the future"

and then, he leaves the room. Later at night, the kid heard his younger brot...

The male owner of a business is interviewing a young woman just about to graduate from an all-women’s college.

She was very excited about her interview but wanted to make sure that this business was progressive when it came to women in the workplace. It seemed like every company she interviewed at were run by horrible misogynists. When it came to the part of the interview when he asked her if she had any que...

Enrique Peña Nieto, Malala Yousafzai, and Donald Trump are walking along a beach

It's a bit of an oldie, and I think the last time I heard it, it came off as pretty racist. But I think the current political climate allows me to rehash it better.

Enrique Peña Nieto, who is the Mexican President, is walking along the beach one day with the US President, Donald Trump, and p...

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