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Volumes Jokes

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For Sale: Complete Set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 Volumes

Excellent condition. $ 1000 ONO. No longer needed. Got married last week. Wife knows fucking everything.

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I like to watch porn with full volume

So I can't hear my mom complaining.

I programmed my smart fridge to tell me how much space each item is occupying.

I think it speaks volumes.

My grandpa’s last words before he died was “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes.

I bought audiobook version of Encyclopedia Britannica

It speaks volumes to me

I asked my wife for an audiobook for my birthday, but she got me an encyclopedia instead.

That spoke volumes.

My buddy who is obsessed with himself bought a speaker just to listen to his own memoirs.

It really speaks volumes about him as a person.

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

Why is it so loud in Costco?

Everything comes in high volumes.

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I Have Decided To Publish My Sex Journal

in two volumes.

Volume A: Thinking About It

Volume B: Talking About It

A police officer was brought to the stand to testify on behalf of his partner who was accused of making a wrongful arrest.

“Your honor,” the cop began “my partner on duty has always been my closest friend and my most trustworthy work associate. I trust this man with my life and I believe that speaks volumes for his character.”

“Objection, your honor!” Said the plaintiff’s lawyer.

“Sustained,” said the judg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final exam

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final exam. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, “Using every thing you’ve learned in this course to prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST.”

Students diligently put their pencils and pens to work creating...

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