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Metric System Jokes

America hasn’t fully adopted the metric system yet…

… but believe me, we’re slowly inching towards it.

My online gf is teaching me the metric system on our first real date…

I can’t wait to metre

Before you judge somebody who doesn't use the metric system...

You should walk 1.609344 kilometers in their shoes.

We Americans know how to embrace the metric system

I'm an American. When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "The metric system is gonna be big. Support it and use it - the whole nine yards - every inch of the way."

Why will the American people never convert to the metric system?

Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.

British people like to make fun of Americans for not using the metric system.

But I’ve never heard of a single British person walking into a pub and ordering a half liter…

Why won't Americans switch to the metric system?

They have a foot fetish

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

To all of you who say I'm "obsessed with the metric system"

Don't judge me until you've walked 1609 metres in my shoes.

What’s the metric system’s favorite game?

Follow the liter

It’s surprising that Jules and Vince spend so much time talking about the metric system at the beginning of Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino usually only does feet

The history and reasons why France switched to the metric system is very interesting

But to make a long story short, it was Napoleon.

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

How do American schoolkids learn the metric system?

9 millimeters at a time

Even in the metric system you serve tea in tea cups, and not in

tea liters.



America's almost finished switching to the metric system.

But they still have miles to go.

Why are people who use the metric system so good at computer science?

Because they are pro-grammers.

I know of someone who uses the metric system

I really want to metre

Why won't the U.S. switch to the metric system?

There would be mass confusion

Metric system isn't popular in the United States?

Nonsense, just look how popular are two-liter bottles and nine-millimeter bullets

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble

In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

There are two type of countries.

Those that use the metric system and those that have been to the moon and have recreated nuclear fusion.

America could never switch to the metric system.

Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?

I wish I was the Metric System....

Because I really wanna km/s.

Why does North Korea use the metric system?

How else will they have a Supreme Liter?

I love the metric system.

It's the best by an absolute 1.6km

It always makes me smile when people suggest switching to the metric system.

Or should it rather make me skilometer?

It’s amazing how popular Instagram is in America.

Didn’t think they liked the metric system.

Alligators can grow up to 15 metres...

The joke doesn’t work with the metric system...

You know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the hell a foot is.

I heard the United States is slowly moving towards the metric system...

They're getting closer inch by inch

I was once accused of having a Foot fetish…

…but that’s a lie. I much prefer the Metric system.

I think I cracked the overweight problem

# I think I cracked the overweight problem

Last week I weighed 150 pounds, I felt so miserable and was loosing all hope for my future. I couldn't think of a way to get over the shame. Then it struck me and I figured out the ultimate way to get it over with. I immediately did what I had to do,...

All of my European friends tell me I have a foot fetish.

I tell them, I’ll never understand the metric system.

What’s type of boat does the metric system hate?

Galleons

An American lost a lot of weight

When he switched to metric system

As an American and a runner, I love the metric system.

I can quit at 3.11 miles without feeling guilty

People really need to start calling out US imperialism.

I can't believe they haven't switched to the metric system yet.

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