Metric System Jokes - 38 Hilarious Metric System Jokes

America hasn’t fully adopted the metric system yet…

… but believe me, we’re slowly inching towards it.

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My online gf is teaching me the metric system on our first real date…

I can’t wait to metre

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Before you judge somebody who doesn't use the metric system...

You should walk 1.609344 kilometers in their shoes.

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We Americans know how to embrace the metric system

I'm an American. When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "The metric system is gonna be big. Support it and use it - the whole nine yards - every inch of the way."

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Why will the American people never convert to the metric system?

Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.

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British people like to make fun of Americans for not using the metric system.

But I’ve never heard of a single British person walking into a pub and ordering a half liter…

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Why won't Americans switch to the metric system?

They have a foot fetish

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Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

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To all of you who say I'm "obsessed with the metric system"

Don't judge me until you've walked 1609 metres in my shoes.

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What’s the metric system’s favorite game?

Follow the liter

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It’s surprising that Jules and Vince spend so much time talking about the metric system at the beginning of Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino usually only does feet

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The history and reasons why France switched to the metric system is very interesting

But to make a long story short, it was Napoleon.

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Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

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How do American schoolkids learn the metric system?

9 millimeters at a time

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Even in the metric system you serve tea in tea cups, and not in

tea liters.

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America's almost finished switching to the metric system.

But they still have miles to go.

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Why are people who use the metric system so good at computer science?

Because they are pro-grammers.

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I know of someone who uses the metric system

I really want to metre

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Why won't the U.S. switch to the metric system?

There would be mass confusion

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Metric system isn't popular in the United States?

Nonsense, just look how popular are two-liter bottles and nine-millimeter bullets

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In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble

In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

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There are two type of countries.

Those that use the metric system and those that have been to the moon and have recreated nuclear fusion.

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America could never switch to the metric system.

Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?

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I wish I was the Metric System....

Because I really wanna km/s.

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Why does North Korea use the metric system?

How else will they have a Supreme Liter?

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I love the metric system.

It's the best by an absolute 1.6km

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It always makes me smile when people suggest switching to the metric system.

Or should it rather make me skilometer?

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It’s amazing how popular Instagram is in America.

Didn’t think they liked the metric system.

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Alligators can grow up to 15 metres...

The joke doesn’t work with the metric system...

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You know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the hell a foot is.

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I heard the United States is slowly moving towards the metric system...

They're getting closer inch by inch

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I was once accused of having a Foot fetish…

…but that’s a lie. I much prefer the Metric system.

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I think I cracked the overweight problem

# I think I cracked the overweight problem

Last week I weighed 150 pounds, I felt so miserable and was loosing all hope for my future. I couldn't think of a way to get over the shame. Then it struck me and I figured out the ultimate way to get it over with. I immediately did what I had to do,...

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All of my European friends tell me I have a foot fetish.

I tell them, I’ll never understand the metric system.

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What’s type of boat does the metric system hate?

Galleons

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An American lost a lot of weight

When he switched to metric system

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As an American and a runner, I love the metric system.

I can quit at 3.11 miles without feeling guilty

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People really need to start calling out US imperialism.

I can't believe they haven't switched to the metric system yet.

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