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Violent Crime Jokes

I don’t understand people who commit violent crimes with guns

At least become a cop first so you get paid

New studies show that the vast majority of violent crimes are committed by the children of immigrants.

And it's been that way since 1607.

Smart criminals

Dumb criminals commit violent crimes that don’t pay too well.

Smart criminals commit white collar crimes.

Really smart criminals become politicians.

If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.

Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:


"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

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