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Get Revenge Jokes

Why can't diabetics get revenge?

Cuz revenge is sweet.

How do get revenge on your wife for banging another man that you let stay in your house?

Slap Chris Rock.

How to get revenge on your dangerous mexican boss

Steal his anxiety medication that stops hispanic attacks

How does a mathematician get revenge?

A mathematician came home and told his wife, “sorry honey, but I’m leaving you for my 18 year old assistant. I’ll be home in a few hours and I’d like for you to be gone.”

He got back home and found a note that read,” hi honey, I’ve left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We...

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To get revenge on my boss, I had sex with his daughter

Then I remembered that I'm self-employed

To whoever scribbled over one letter of my James Joyce book cover, I will get revenge.

Ulysse

How do deer get revenge?

By giving each other a taste of their own venison

Two Indians were going to get revenge on some cowboys...

One Indian says to the other: *We need to get some bacon to lure the cowboys in because we have no weapons that shoot long range!*

So the other Indian, who just happened to have bacon in his pocket said: *That might just work, but we need to make not just any kind of bacon, we need to make a ...

How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband?

She goes into town and blows a few bucks!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Boys

Three boys were taking a sex ed class. They received grades of D, D-, and F, respectively, so they plotted to get revenge.

"We should get her," said the first.

"Yeah," said the second, "let's grab her."

"Yeah," chimed in the third, "And let's kick her in the nuts."

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Mike Tyson is a jerk

Alright, so Mike Tyson is kind of a dick. He treats all the people around him like shit. His friends, his family, etc. One day, he goes to a restaurant and just refuses to tip his waitress. Little does he know, the waitress was actually a witch. To get revenge, the witch conjures up a spirit to curs...

I was going for a walk in the desert in Afghanistan.

Off in the distance I saw what I thought was a mirage but as I got closer I could see it's wasn't a mirage, Israel.

It was two men arguing, so I tried to calm the situation down but they turned against me. The one man threw Iraq, so Iran all the way home.

Agitated by the encounter I t...

For you guitarists out there...

After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;

"First offender?"

She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

I caught my brother sleeping with my girlfriend...

So I decided to get revenge and sleep with his mom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bear Hunter

One day a hunter took his trusty Winchester to the mountains to hunt for bear. He hid behind a rock that overlooked a beautiful valley and waited.

Soon a brown bear appeared by the stream which ran through the valley. The hunter aimed and fired and killed the bear dead.

Suddenly then t...

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Somebody once told me a story…

…and today I’d like to share it with you:

Once upon a time, there was a farmer in Scotland. His name was William McKellen.

William had a faithful horse, named Star. She was his best friend out there in the Highlands.

Every morning, the two would go out to the grass fields. Far...

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The ultimate revenge ( long)

Melville was 10 years old and he loved clowns. When he heard that the circus was coming to town he did everything he could to convince his parents to take him so he could see the clowns. They eventually agreed and when the day arrived he was incredibly excited! He was on the edge of his seat with an...

An Annoying Customer

There was a guy who for a living sells coffee and there is this one particular customer who always likes to humiliate him. He did this by ordering a $2.50 coffee with 10 cent coins and in doing so he throws the coins all over the counter, leaving the poor seller to pick up all the coins.

But ...

Let me tell you story of a chicken.

Once there was a chicken. He was just like every other chicken, minding himself, keeping his beak clean, working the 9 to 5, the usual. Life was going good for him, until he made a life threatening choice. He had severely angered Hank “Road to Hell” Eagle, AKA “The Road” for short, a notorious mob b...

Fool or be fooled

A greedy guy was walking and passed by a hospital and there was a sign that says "pay 100$ for a treatment and if we couldn't treat you we give you 200$ back"

So he decided to fool them and get extra money so he goes in and says to the docter i lost my taste buds and the doctor calls his as...

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