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Vegetarians Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that a piece of meat makes them happy.

People that don't eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don't eat vegetables?

constipated

If God wanted us to be vegetarians…

Why did he make the animals out of meat?

How many vegetarians does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?

One, if no one's looking.

If we were meant to be vegetarians

then why do cats taste like chicken?

Pessimists are like German vegetarians.

They fear the wurst.

What do vegetarians say when they meet someone new?

Nice to vegetable you

Why do vegetarians look for dates at the hospital?

Because they are into vegetables.

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they are used to eating nuts

I like making jokes about vegetarians...

but never about tofu, that's just tasteless.

I love my vegetarian-only diet.

Lambs, Cows, Deers, Rabbits. They're all vegetarians and they're delicious!!

What do Native Americans call vegetarians?

One who is bad at hunting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey Vegetarians

My food poops on yours.

Why are asteroids vegetarians?

Because they aren't meteors.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?

Not sure, depends on what's at steak.

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

I tried to open a restaurant that offers faster seating to vegetarians...

But this created too many upset steakholders

If 2 vegetarians argue...

... do they have beef?

[NSFW] Why do vegetarians have in common with straight men?

They prefer their buns with no wiener.

I don’t understand why people don’t seem to get along with vegetarians.

I have never had a beef with one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do vegetarians masturbate to?

Quornography.

Why are vegetarians never involved in Any drama?

They can’t stand beef

What do vegetarians say when they get a flat tire?

Should've bought asparagus.

If meat-eaters are Alpha, what are Vegetarians?

Alfalfa.

I saw two vegetarians arguing

I guess they were beefing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t vegans/vegetarians moan during sex?

They don’t wanna show that they’re loving the meat inside them

How do you know the Who weren't vegetarians?

"Meat, the new boss..."

Why do vegetarians go to the library?

To get some peas and quiet.

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