The digit seven

A humorous answer to why handwritten digit 7 is commonly written stricken (I've recently read this joke in Russian and made a translation).

When Moses gathered the people at the Mount Sinai, started reading out the 10 commandments and reached the No. 7 (which reads "Thou shalt not commit ...

There's nothing in the Guinness Book about digital DJs.

They don't hold any records.

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

If the combination of binary digits were called a bit

Then would the combination of ternary digits be called a tit?

Superman lost all of his money on a digital currency scheme

It was his cryptonite.

Pandemic dating is weird. Last night I asked a girl at the grocery store for her digits ...

And she wrote down her temperature.

I name my little guy after a digital game store

Say hello to Humble Bundle

What did digital clock say to Grandfather clock?

"Look Grandpa, no hands!"

Just had my first ever prostate check. My doctor said it's called a digital rectal exam.

Felt more like it was anal-og to me though.

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An american and a european friends are sitting in a bar in Texas when they spot a beautiful blond girl.

They decide to compete who can get a date with her. American goes first.

American: "hey, my dick is 9 inches long. Care to spend a night with me?"

Girl: "9 inches? I must see this for myself."

American: "Before that, give my friend over there a chance too."

American steps...

I know every single digit of pi.

I just don’t know the order of them

What do you call two digital artists in a fight?

Graphic Violence

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

How do you set your digital location to Skyrim?

You use NordVPN

I can make digital art and canvas art easily.

But when it comes to paper, that's where I draw the line.

Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

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By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

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I started by running my hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. My digits glided over her breasts, touching them very lightly, then proceeded gently, caressing as it went down her side, sliding my paw over her stomach...

...and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

I continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.

My hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.

My gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do...

The poor father of a Chef sees an ad in the local newspaper: "Come visit the Carnival and see our newest attraction, the Great Winged Monster!"

So the man makes his way down to the Carnival and pays the $2.00 admission price to get inside.

While inside the Carnival grounds he walks around, seeing ads for rides, games, food, and even shows! After a couple hours he finally sees it, a sign outside an obscure looking tent saying 'Great ...

“How many digits of pi do you know?” - “All of them...

I just always forget the order!”

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

I know the first 1,000,000 digits of pi..

its their order that I’m still foggy on

A man sits next to a blonde on an airplane...

He says to the blonde, knowing he could outsmart her, “If I give you a question you cannot answer, you must pay me $10.”

“But if you give me a question I cannot answer, I will pay you $100.”

She agrees, and the man asks his question.

“What is the ninth digit of pi?”

She ...

Who led the digitization of your company?

1. CEO
2. CTO
3. COVID-19

My dad always brags that his was the first profession to go completely digital.

He’s a proctologist.

If your digital multimeter gives a bogus reading, try it again.

It's probably a Fluke.

Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?

They spent too long processing the negatives.

I set my password to be the last 4 digits of pi.

Nobody's ever been able to crack it.

I've memorized all the digits in pi, I'm not sure why everyone thinks it's so hard.

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite.

I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

Somethings afoot

My wife asked if she could count the digits on my feet..

Toe-tally , I replied

How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?

Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.

(Credit to my cousin)

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

Girl can I get your digits?

Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist.

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio.

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

A maths professor was struggling to teach his student the first 10 numbers of pi.

So he started singing a song which was meant to teach people about the numbers of pi. The students were intrigued by this mesmerizing little poem, and by the end they had learned the first 10 digits of pi.

Next, the teacher asked each one to write down the first 10 digits onto a sheet of pape...

It's hard to be a Buddhist in todays digital world, especially when it comes to emails.

No attachments.

A man finds a lamp on a beach. He rubs it, and out pops a genie.

“I will give you three wishes,” the genie says. “But be warned: whatever you wish for, your ex will get twice that.”

“I wish for a fabulously large mansion,” the man says.

“Are you sure?” asks the genie. “Your ex will get a mansion twice as large, twice as opulent.”

“I’m sure.” ...

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Two friends are in a bar, on a night out, having a couple of drinks.

After several rounds, one of them asks:
„Hey man, what time is it?“

The other one takes a look at his wristwatch and replies: „No clue“

„What do you mean, no clue? You have a digital watch?“

He responds with: „Sure, but you try dividing 23 with 49“

A cannibal had an unusual hobby.

He would save the extremities of bodies and use them to form works of art. The others began questioning him. "What's up with all these pictures made out of fingers and toes?" they asked. He responded, "Oh, I just really like working with digital media."

Figurative digits

When is a 2 literally a 6? When it has metaphor.

Joe Biden is very close to making a decision about a female Vice Presidential running mate.

Sources close to the matter have stated that he’s already given several of them his digits.

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

The digital internet consists of 1s and 0s.

That explains alot about my Tinder matches.

I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

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My Wife is missing.

Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went out yesterday and has not come home...



Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?



Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.



Sergeant:

Weight?



Husb...

No-Toe Joe was the restaurant's best waiter

Something of a local attraction, he wore flip-flops to show off his signature missing digits. Despite those, however, he was a fast worker, efficient, personable, and a generally great guy. Everyone loved to work with him, and everyone loved being served by him.

Well, almost everyone.

...

what does a digital seagull wear to the beech

a beak.ini

How was the first digital sound created?

Someone snapped their fingers.

Actual true story: Met a teenager who had blood poisoning as a kid and had to have the fingers on his left hand amputated below the first joint.

He has promised me he will try the line out: "Girl, can I have your digits? 'Cause I'm missing some of mine."

A man walks in through the front door after work

and his wife immediately starts smacking him, left and right across the face, cursing.

"Woah woah woah...what gives?!?" the man says.

The smacking intensifies briefly, and then she let's up.

"I picked up your coat from the dry cleaners earlier today, and found THIS in the pocke...

My brother has been working on a belt with a built in digital clock.

Talk about a waist of time.

Why did Slovakia move to digital banking?

because they ran out of Czechs

I phoned 999 and told the guy that two men had just broken into my house and stolen my CDs.

"Could you please give me a description of them?" the man asked.



"Certainly," I replied. "They're round plastic discs on which music or other digital information is stored."

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

What did the male digital signal ask a female digital signal?

Do you do ANALog?

Two cows are in a green grass field when one says to the other-

"You know even though pi is usually written upto only two digits after the decimal point it is actually infinite."

The other cow replies,”moo.”

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pope taking a shower!

The Pope was having a shower and although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air...

What do you call an anti-aircraft gun that shoots high-quality digital audio files?

A .flac gun

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
.
Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
.
Try this test and ...

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

11 was a racehorse

22 was 12

111 race

22112

(Say each digit individually)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, if you get a digital rectal exam, you might feel like you're going to poop or going to orgasm.

You won't know whether you're coming or going.

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind...

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig...

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So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers...

...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

What's the fastest way to read braille?

Digitally.

How do you catch a digital fish

Online

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away.

Rest in peace Jay.

A digital pirate lost his leg.

He now has a JPEG leg to replace it.

There was once a billionaire philanthropist with a curious idea....

"What would happen if he gave modern musical instruments to tribal people who have never been in contact with the outer world? He decided to do just that, and to return after 10 years. The tribesmen were given an electric guitar, bass, a drum kit, digital keys, everything needed to make music with o...

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[NSFW] A drunk guy staggers into a bar and orders a beer.

He goes up to the barman and shouts, "Wow! There are A LOT of hot women in here".

Filled with Dutch courage, the guy says, "I bet you 50 bucks I can go up to any hottie in here, squeeze her boobs, slap her ass and still get her number!"

The barman agrees and they put their money under ...

An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds...

An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds. He sits down and orders a beer from one hell of a beefy, muscled bartender. He takes a shakey sip from his dark, dark beer, puts it back down, and asks about the lemons as old and shriveled as he is.

"We have a ...

I tried to make a clock with no battery for the digital clock competition

but it didn't count.

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