Digit Jokes

I just don't have them in the right order.

...they'd even know my birth year!

A migit.

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac... read more

A humorous answer to why handwritten digit 7 is commonly written stricken (I've recently read this joke in Russian and made a translation).

When Moses gathered the people at the Mount Sinai, started reading out the 10 commandments and reached the No. 7 (which reads "Thou shalt not commit ... read more

A. Because they spent too much time processing the negatives.

I'm lack toes intolerant.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

But sadly i dont know the order.

"At this point of the exam it is normal to get an erection"

I said"I don't have an erection"

The doctor says "No. But I do"

The camera takes photos and the the sock takes five toes.

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

Because he's the reel deal.

Then I realized it was irrational.

"Look Grandpa, no hands!"

I just always forget the order!”

A man is setting up the first ever digital clock, and as soon as he plugs it in, he excitedly calls to his wife, “Honey, come look at this! This technology is truly ahead of its time”

“I could’ve sworn it was only 5:30, but it says its already 12:00!”

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r... read more

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu... read more

But when it comes to paper, that's where I draw the line.

My first non-fungible Tolkien.

Non Fungible Tolkien’s

You use NordVPN

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

There’s no joke, and there is no punchline. You have to just trust that it’s funny.

It's probably a Fluke.

gloves

They don't hold any records.

It was his cryptonite.

And she wrote down her temperature.

He’s a proctologist.

Then would the combination of ternary digits be called a tit?

1. CEO
2. CTO
3. COVID-19

its their order that I’m still foggy on

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

a beak.ini

No attachments.

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

Someone snapped their fingers.

Do you do ANALog?

Talk about a waist of time.

because they ran out of Czechs

I just want a physical release.

An Emu

They turned down the graphics for better performance

It allows you to insert four digits into your date where you could previously only fit two.

Nobody's ever been able to crack it.

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

A .flac gun

I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.

One byte at a time!

Also every morning, his wife would admonish him: "One of these days you're going to fart your guts out."

It's Thanksgiving morning. The old man is sleeping in and the old lady is in the initial steps of preparing the turkey. While she has a handful of turkey innards, she gets an idea:

... read more

Online

All bark and no byte

He now has a JPEG leg to replace it.

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig... read more

Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist.

Rest in peace Jay.

A man went to a doctor, and said he wanted to be able to get a job at the local Post Office, but unfortunately he was too smart.

The doctor asked him his IQ, and when he gave a three-digit reply, the doctor told him that the procedure would have to involve the removal of over half of his bra... read more

but it didn't count.

On a jpeg.

Oh wait, its syncing.

When is a 2 literally a 6? When it has metaphor.

Napoleon, because it's a short ruler.

No, seriously: http://xdce.adobe.com/mighty/

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

He says to the blonde, knowing he could outsmart her, “If I give you a question you cannot answer, you must pay me $10.”

“But if you give me a question I cannot answer, I will pay you $100.”

She agrees, and the man asks his question.

“What is the ninth digit of pi?”

She ... read more

the sum of all 2-digit numbers one can make from 132 results in 132. 132 is the smallest number with that property.

that's cool.

But it's my favorite because the response I give to many people is 132 in binary and I communicate binary using my fingers.

A transport ship goes down in the middle of the Atlantic quickly enough that no distress signal get sent. After the ship had been overdue for a ten days, a rescue is dispatched. Five days after that, the come across an island and send men ashore. There, they find four women lounging in emergency ten... read more

"A woman never reveals her age", she replied to her young grandson.

He said "Alright, just give me the first digit"

"Six" she said.

"And the second?"

Grandma sighed. "Seven."

"And the third?"

Inspired by Colin Mochrie's 6:00 News on Who's Line, I tried to come up with my own.

We now return you to your 6:00 news. I'm your host, Armand Dangerous. Earlier today, a man who lost a digit to his foot after a grievous skiing accident underwent a groundbreaking surgery where he requested t... read more