I started memorizing the digits of pi

Then I realized it was irrational.

Teaching my son how to perform additions using double digits

That was in tens

Breaking News: Brilliant scientists managed to find the last digit of pi.

They found it by writing the whole number on your mom's belly.

What's the difference between a digital camera and a sock?

The camera takes photos and the the sock takes five toes.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

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Who is the biggest digital hoe?

Mrs. Pac-Man because for ¢25, she’ll swallow balls until she dies.

I tried to memorize 100 digits of pi today

But why would I worry about pi on my cake day?

I'm selling my digital piano for $100.

No strings attached.

Thanksgiving An old couple had been married for 50 years. Every morning (without fail) the man produced a massive fart when he got out of bed and then laughed like a madman.

Also every morning, his wife would admonish him: "One of these days you're going to fart your guts out."

It's Thanksgiving morning. The old man is sleeping in and the old lady is in the initial steps of preparing the turkey. While she has a handful of turkey innards, she gets an idea:

...

The first digital clock

A man is setting up the first ever digital clock, and as soon as he plugs it in, he excitedly calls to his wife, “Honey, come look at this! This technology is truly ahead of its time”

“I could’ve sworn it was only 5:30, but it says its already 12:00!”

I know every single digit of pi!

I just don't have them in the right order.

Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

The digit seven

A humorous answer to why handwritten digit 7 is commonly written stricken (I've recently read this joke in Russian and made a translation).

When Moses gathered the people at the Mount Sinai, started reading out the 10 commandments and reached the No. 7 (which reads "Thou shalt not commit ...

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?...

Look grandpa, no hands!!

Pandemic dating is weird. Last night I asked a girl at the grocery store for her digits ...

And she wrote down her temperature.

I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

If the combination of binary digits were called a bit

Then would the combination of ternary digits be called a tit?

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I started by running my hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. My digits glided over her breasts, touching them very lightly, then proceeded gently, caressing as it went down her side, sliding my paw over her stomach...

...and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

I continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.

My hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.

My gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do...

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the KY Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

I can make digital art and canvas art easily.

But when it comes to paper, that's where I draw the line.

I refuse to associate with people who are missing foot digits.

Sorry, but I'm lack-toes intolerant.

I know the first 1,000,000 digits of pi..

its their order that I’m still foggy on

Spent some cryptocurrency to take digital possession of an image of Gandalf killing the Balrog of Morgoth...

My first non-fungible Tolkien.

New digital LOTR trading card JPEGs for sale!!!

Non Fungible Tolkien’s

Digital Milk

What do you call a computer mouse for a cow?...

a Moose!

A transport ship goes down....

A transport ship goes down in the middle of the Atlantic quickly enough that no distress signal get sent. After the ship had been overdue for a ten days, a rescue is dispatched. Five days after that, the come across an island and send men ashore. There, they find four women lounging in emergency ten...

132 is my favorite number

the sum of all 2-digit numbers one can make from 132 results in 132. 132 is the smallest number with that property.

that's cool.

But it's my favorite because the response I give to many people is 132 in binary and I communicate binary using my fingers.

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

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An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

How do you set your digital location to Skyrim?

You use NordVPN

There's nothing in the Guinness Book about digital DJs.

They don't hold any records.

I set my password to be the last 4 digits of pi.

Nobody's ever been able to crack it.

I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite.

I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.

I've memorized all the digits in pi, I'm not sure why everyone thinks it's so hard.

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Superman lost all of his money on a digital currency scheme

It was his cryptonite.

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By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

I name my little guy after a digital game store

Say hello to Humble Bundle

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Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

Girl can I get your digits?

Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist.

If your digital multimeter gives a bogus reading, try it again.

It's probably a Fluke.

My dad always brags that his was the first profession to go completely digital.

He’s a proctologist.

Figurative digits

When is a 2 literally a 6? When it has metaphor.

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?

They spent too long processing the negatives.

In other news

Inspired by Colin Mochrie's 6:00 News on Who's Line, I tried to come up with my own.

We now return you to your 6:00 news. I'm your host, Armand Dangerous. Earlier today, a man who lost a digit to his foot after a grievous skiing accident underwent a groundbreaking surgery where he requested t...

Who led the digitization of your company?

1. CEO
2. CTO
3. COVID-19

How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?

Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.

(Credit to my cousin)

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

Got arrested today and the cops said they needed to take my fingerprints and put them on file. But when we got to the station, the sergeant said they'd run out of fingerprint ink.

So they just asked for 6 digit passcode instead.

I think they're trying to PIN something on me.

The digital internet consists of 1s and 0s.

That explains alot about my Tinder matches.

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio.

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

A man sits next to a blonde on an airplane...

He says to the blonde, knowing he could outsmart her, “If I give you a question you cannot answer, you must pay me $10.”

“But if you give me a question I cannot answer, I will pay you $100.”

She agrees, and the man asks his question.

“What is the ninth digit of pi?”

She ...

It's hard to be a Buddhist in todays digital world, especially when it comes to emails.

No attachments.

what does a digital seagull wear to the beech

a beak.ini

A man goes to buy a clock.

He's browsing in the clock shop. Suddenly he hears a little voice "Get digital you probably can't read analogue."
Startled, he looks around. Nobody is there.

A few minutes later, he hears another little voice "Your shoes belong in a museum!"
He spins around. Noone there.

As he ...

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The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

How was the first digital sound created?

Someone snapped their fingers.

My brother has been working on a belt with a built in digital clock.

Talk about a waist of time.

Tech company mission statements be like

We're a customer centric organization and we deliver the value of IOT, cloud, big data, blockchain, machine learning, and artificial intelligence by using design thinking to drive digital transformation for the connected enterprise.

A maths professor was struggling to teach his student the first 10 numbers of pi.

So he started singing a song which was meant to teach people about the numbers of pi. The students were intrigued by this mesmerizing little poem, and by the end they had learned the first 10 digits of pi.

Next, the teacher asked each one to write down the first 10 digits onto a sheet of pape...

Why did Slovakia move to digital banking?

because they ran out of Czechs

The poor father of a Chef sees an ad in the local newspaper: "Come visit the Carnival and see our newest attraction, the Great Winged Monster!"

So the man makes his way down to the Carnival and pays the $2.00 admission price to get inside.

While inside the Carnival grounds he walks around, seeing ads for rides, games, food, and even shows! After a couple hours he finally sees it, a sign outside an obscure looking tent saying 'Great ...

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

A man finds a lamp on a beach. He rubs it, and out pops a genie.

“I will give you three wishes,” the genie says. “But be warned: whatever you wish for, your ex will get twice that.”

“I wish for a fabulously large mansion,” the man says.

“Are you sure?” asks the genie. “Your ex will get a mansion twice as large, twice as opulent.”

“I’m sure.” ...

A man walks in through the front door after work

and his wife immediately starts smacking him, left and right across the face, cursing.

"Woah woah woah...what gives?!?" the man says.

The smacking intensifies briefly, and then she let's up.

"I picked up your coat from the dry cleaners earlier today, and found THIS in the pocke...

What is an example of a Facebook paradox?

Discovering one of their user's is trying to build a bomb and having to decide between reporting him to the FBI or serving him ads for digital timers

What do you call an anti-aircraft gun that shoots high-quality digital audio files?

A .flac gun

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So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers...

...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, if you get a digital rectal exam, you might feel like you're going to poop or going to orgasm.

You won't know whether you're coming or going.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
.
Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
.
Try this test and ...

How do you catch a digital fish

Online

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind...

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig...

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away.

Rest in peace Jay.

How do you eat a digital elephant?

One byte at a time!

A digital pirate lost his leg.

He now has a JPEG leg to replace it.

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