Once a man a was shouting at Times square " The president is an Idiot"

"The president is an Idiot" he yelled

You can't defame the president, a cop arrested him
"Hey I didn't say 'our' president, I was talking about China"

Cop replied "Shut up we know exactly which president is an Idiot"

So I took ma epileptic buddy to Times Square.

He loved it so much, he started dancing on the ground.

The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

I heard there was a bombing in Times Square.

But it was just Mariah.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

Why did the actor jump off a building in Times Square?

He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three tourists are having a drink in an expensive bar in Times Square

They're all astounded by the prices of the drinks.

One of the tourists says, "back in my favorite bar in Liverpool, every time you ordered a beer, you'd get another one on the house!"

The tourist from Ireland says, "that's impressive but back in my favorite pub in Dublin, every time y...

Scientists have opened a dimensional rift in one of New York's most popular tourist spots.

They're now calling it Times Squared.

We’re in for a really cold New Year’s Day

When they try to drop the ball at Times Square, it will retract up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun...

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice,”Could you please take me to Times Square?”

In a thick Brooklyn accent the cab driver initiates conversation,”Hey, sista, that’s kinda a long drive. You mind if we, like, chat?”

The nun says,”Why no, my son, wh...

Which font do the protesters use to paint BLACK LIVES MATTER onto the streets of New York City?

Times Square New Roman.

What do you get when you multiply a clock by another clock?

Times square

Where do math teachers go on vacation?

To Times Square.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The trumpeter

A trumpeter is hired to play two solos in a movie. After the sessions he is paid handsomely and promised by the director that he will be notified when the movie is released to the public.

Three months later, he receives a notice that the movie will make its debut in Times Square at a porno h...

What do you get from joining four timeliness together?

Times Square...

ISIS is taking full responsibility....

...for Mariah Carey's NYE bombing of Times Square.

New Year's Eve Party

*Two guys watching Mariah Carey's Times Square performance*

Guy 1: "Man, 2016 has been such a mess."

Guy 2: "I know right. This year ended on such a low note I can't even hear it."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.