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Cubic Jokes

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A obese chicken has a volume of 14 cubic inches

This means that 2.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000 fat cocks fits in Uranus

IKEA uses almost 18 million cubic yards of wood for their furniture.

Do you know that if you collated all of that wood...

You could just about build a tree house for James Corden?

What did the cubic function say to the second order polynomial?

Nice quads

Cubical Conversion

I was in a public toilet and had just sat down, when I heard a voice from the next cubicle.

He said, "Hi! How are you?"

Embarrassed, I said. "I'm doing fine."

The voice said, "So what are you up to?"

I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!"

The voice ask...

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Two students are waiting to give their oral tests...

The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner- Suppose you are traveling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student- I will open the window.

Examiner- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is 10 sq. ft, the volume of the car is 1000 cubi...

What does Spongebob keep in his square pants?

A thick mane of cubic hair

My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.

One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.

It was a sham rock.

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An old lady walks into a bank with a big bag of money

One of the employees asks her what she wants.

Old Lady: I'm here to open an account and I want to deposit all this money into the bank.

"Whoa, that's a whole lot of money", the employee said. "You'll have to talk to the manager."

The employee escorts her to the manager's office...

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Woodcutting contest

Once upon a time, there was a woodcutting contest. The tasks included plank cutting, stacking and all the sham, everything within 1 hour.


The first contestant shows up.
The jury asks 'Where are you from?'
'I come from England.' the contestant proudly replies.
'Indeed, you...

I'm doin' meth

I just remembered the cubic subtrection formule

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The science of ping pong balls...

Long, Science

A science convention is in town. So a chemist, physicist and engineer walk into a local bar. The bar tender sees them and says, "hey, you're all wise guys, how would I figure out the volume of this ping pong ball?" The chemist takes the ball from him, pulls out a graduated cylin...

My niece asked me what Cu.M. stands for

It took me 2 minutes to understand it was Cubic Meter and not something I was thinking.

A botanist starts playing minecraft, and he becomes a mathematician

He had to calculate the cubic root

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This is my dog. he’s weird tho all he talks about are trees

**HER:** because he says bark? haha that’s funn-

**MY DOG:** the sequoiadendron giganteum is the largest tree in the world. it is 52,500 cubic feet (1,487 cubic meters) in volume

**HER:** what the fuck

What did the polyhedron get when he hit puberty?

Cubic hair

Donald wanders in to the hardware store and tells the salesman he’s got a lot of firewood to cut and what could he buy to do the job.

The salesman shows Donald the best chainsaw he’s got and tells him he should be able to cut at least 500 cubic ft of wood an hour with it. Donald says great and takes the chainsaw home with him.

The next day Donald brings back the chainsaw and says he was only able to cut 2 hundred cubic ft...

I used to be square but then I gave my self to a higher power...

Now I'm stuck in this cubical all day

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Oral Exam

Two blondes failed math class and have to take an oral exam with the professor. The prof asks the first blonde:

"You are travelling in a train and it is very hot, what do you do?"

"I open the window."

"Great. The train is travelling north-east at 80 miles per hour, and a wind bl...

Would a 10'x10'x10' workspace...

...used by a Havana artist studying Picasso's style be a Cuban cubist's cubical cubicle?

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John is an elementary school teacher,

and in particular enjoys teaching mathematics and crafting. However, one year, his students are rather uninterested in their arithmetic homework. Since John is a dedicated teacher, he decides to come up with a new way to teach his students.

He takes some cubical blocks of wood, and writes va...

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Hmmm Metric or Imperial?

"In metric, one milliliter of water occupies one cubic centimeter, weighs one gram, and requires one calorie of energy to heat up by one degree centigrade—which is 1 percent of the difference between its freezing point and its boiling point. An amount of hydrogen weighing the same amount has exactly...

What's a pirates favorite unit of volumetric measurement?

Cubic yarrrrds!

An Engineer is standing outside of work on Monday morning...

...when his cubical-neighbor pulls up on a brand new motorcycle. "Wow Bill, sweet bike, when did you get that?" he asks his friend.

"It was the weirdest thing," Bill replies, "my old VW was broken down on the side of the road yesterday, and this gorgeous woman pulls up on this motorcycle."...

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