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What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it the harder it gets

My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am......

.....


an Ice Cube

Cred: Russell Peters

If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be just water under the fridge.

earlier today I dropped an ice cube

It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.

Why are racists so good at solving rubik's cubes?

Cuz they looooove seperating colors.

Oftentimes i find myself putting ice cubes on my eyeballs.

I think its because i wanna look cool.

Life is like a Rubik's cube

If you get one side of it all smooth and organized, you usually mess up all the other sides in the process.

You have three cups of coffee and 20 sugar cubes? How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes into each cup of coffee using all 20 sugar cubes.

1 cube in the first cup, 1 cube in the second, and 18 in the third because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put in coffee.

What do Rubik’s cubes and your wee wee have in common?

Well for most people the more you play with them the harder they get... for me, I play with them for a few seconds and then it’s finished.

An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

“Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.

*“Chill, it’s just a phase you’re going through.”*

What’s the difference between an amateur thief, a professional thief, and a Rubik’s cube?

An amateur thief says “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY” while a professional thief says “Sign here, please.”

When does a square become a cube?

When it hits cuberty.

I can complete a Rubik's Cube without touching it

Perk of being colour blind

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Ice Cube talking about why he doesn't want his girlfriend to role play as a cop.

"When I said fuck the police, this isn't what I meant."

A person unsure if God exists rolled a numbered cube to determine the answer.

It was a diagnostic test.

My wife keeps telling me that soup is better with flavour cubes.

I don’t put too much stock in that.

What happens when an entire Borg cube is exasperated?

They let out a collective sigh.

Two depressed men are sitting at a bar drinking whisky

Suddenly one of them remarks: "Have you noticed the new ice cubes? They have a hole in the middle!"

"They're not new", the other one replies. "I have been married to one for 20 years!"

What do you call it when two Nissan Cubes get into an accident?

A wreck-tangle.

I used to worry about the ice cubes I’d kick into the abyss under the refrigerator.

But I figure, what the hell.

It’s old water under the fridge.

Someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine

I'm confused... What is leftover wine??

My colour blind friend is still upset with me.

I thought the Rubik’s cube was a great gift.

If you’re ever choking on an ice cube

Just wait,

I recently placed a sugar cube for an ant

When he left to get the rest of the ants, I quickly removed the sugar cube. Now everyone else thinks he lied.

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Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

Captain America loses his voice...

Captain America loses his voice due to a scheme concocted by Doctor Doom.

He tries everything. Dr Strange can't help because he doesn't detect any magic causing the problem. Reed Richards can't help, because the problem isn't explainable with science. After a barrage of failed attempts, even ...

I don't get why people say rubik's cubes are so hard. There's literally only one combination

Yes, I'm colorblind. Why are y'all asking?

My friend asked me what the name of that famous ice cube movie was.

I replied, "Titanic?".

Skull shaped ice cubes are pretty cool

Well, for a few minutes at least.

Today I learned that I can make an ice cube melt just by concentrating on it and thinking ''Melt.''

I have to admit that it takes a lot longer than I expected.

I used to work in a powdered soup factory, until I started coughing up little cubes of tofu...

I was forced to retire, after being diagnosed with Miso-thelioma.

I used to get irrationally angry at ice cubes and throw them onto the floor.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

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In my experience women are a lot like Rubik’s Cubes.

They are incapable of achieving orgasms

Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?

Because cubes are platonic solids.

Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?

He liked ice before it was cool

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I swallowed an ice cube two days ago...

and haven’t pooped it out yet. I’m really scared you guys!

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What would you get if you shove some ice cubes in your asshole?

Some cool shit

My mother woke me up with the sentence „Hey, we‘re getting new phones!“

I was happy, but not sure why I woke up in a bathtub full of ice cubes.

I was filling my water bottle from the freezer door, and an ice cube fell out and slid out of reach

I was about to get angry but then I realized, no, now it’s just water under the fridge

What do you call a cube-crafting game that takes place in Iowa?

Des Moinescraft.

If the world were a cube

We'd all be Cubans!

Why are there more white sugar cubes than brown sugar cubes?

Because demerera

What do you called ginger cut into cubes??

a Square Root.



... I'll see myself out

Did you know I can melt an ice cube using the power of my mind.

Takes quite a white though.

What did Ice Cube say when he left Iraq?

Bye Fallujah!!!

If H2O is the formula for water....

... What is the formula for ice? H2O cubed

Why did the ice cube kill itself?

It felt so Ice-olated

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Why did the cube refused to fuck icosahedron?

Because their relationship was solidly platonic.

Rubix Cubes & Racism

Why are Americans so good at solving the Rubix Cube?



Because they're good at separating colors.

What did the ice cube say to the glass of water?

I’m cooler than you

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What did Ice Cube say when his Teletubbies rental expired?

Fuck the Po lease

I don't understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much...

They are a really good band

Two guys are at a bar

One of them is looking at his drink and asks "have you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it?" The other guy replies "yeah, I'm married to one".

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TIL that wombats poo is shaped like a cube instead of spherical.

I almost shit a brick.

I got arrested for giving criminals glasses of ice cubes.

Apparently you're considered to be a vigilante if you hand out just ice on the streets.

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What goes click click click...did I get it?... SHIT! click click click...did I get it?... SHIT!...

Stevie Wonder with a Rubik's Cube

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it.

Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.

Why did the student look underwater for square and cube numbers?

They’re indices

What would happen if the earth became a cube?

We would all be cubans

My brother has Aspergers. When you give him a Rubik's cube it takes him like 12 seconds to...

... say “Thank you“.

Saw a woman frantically eating ice cubes earlier.

Absolutely perplexed, I asked her what on earth she was doing. She said she was worried about her baby due to the heat, so was eating ice cubes to cool the baby down.

Luckily she calmed down when i explained the baby will be at womb temprature.

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

A cube walks into a bar...

A cube walks into a bar and comes out as a sphere. A passerby saw and asked them what happened. The sphere replied “oh I just had a drink to take the edge off”.

How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?

He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a very well thawed out plan

Ice Cube is 48 years old, but still hasn't melted. Do you know why?

Man's not hot.

How can you tell that an ice cube didn’t graduate from college in the US?

Because it has 0 degrees.
Also because it uses the Celsius scale.

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Ice cubes in ice tea.

It's almost time for him to pull out.

Did you hear Ice Cube converted to Judeaism?

He changed his name to Ice Berg.

Why are mollusks so good at solving the Rubix Cube?

Well you see, it's all mussel memory.

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

Ice

Ice Cube, Vanilla Ice, and Ice-T walk into a bar.

The bartender says: “Wow, it’s cold in here!”

A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand

The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."

How to make an ice cube melt faster?

Talk to it and get into a heated argument

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Guurl is that ass a rubiks cube?

Because I just wanna give up and say fuck it.

If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child...

they could call it Slush Puppy :)

How does Ice-Cube drink his milk?

Straight Outta Carton.

I wrote a program that figures out if soup is made from scratch or from a cube

It returns a bouillon Boolean.

Ice cubes are very badass

I mean they float around their own blood

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee.

I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly.

At the window, there was a delay.

Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated.

"I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

What relates a good reddit post and a poorly kept cube?

RIP in box

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Granny went to the bank to deposit her $1M

She was greeted by the Bank Manager.

Manager: "Good morning, ma'am! That's quite a fortune. May I ask where did it come from?"

Granny: "I have a knack in gambling. These are my winnings."

M: "I have no doubt. However, our policies prevents us from accepting it due to anti money-...

I won a Minecraft game without cheating

I did it fair and cube.

What's the square root of a hyper cube?

A sugar cube!

I went to Sweden to look for some Oxo Cubes.

I hear they have a really good shop there called "Stockhome".

An ice cube decided to wear a new hat

A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"

The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.

Now he's looking liquid, dude.

Jesus tried to solve a Rubik's cube

He died on the cross.

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana...

It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

I tried sniffing Coke once...

But the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

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