This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with them, the harder they get.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did the cube refused to fuck icosahedron?

Because their relationship was solidly platonic.

What do you called ginger cut into cubes??

a Square Root.

​

... I'll see myself out

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

What did the ice cube say to the glass of water?

I’m cooler than you

What would happen if the earth became a cube?

We would all be cubans

Why did the student look underwater for square and cube numbers?

They’re indices

My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, quietly kick them under the refrigerator.

It’ll soon be water under the fridge.

Driving in real life is just like Mariokart, and pedestrians are mystery cubes

The surprise is 25 to life though...

A cube walks into a bar...

A cube walks into a bar and comes out as a sphere. A passerby saw and asked them what happened. The sphere replied “oh I just had a drink to take the edge off”.

How to make an ice cube melt faster?

Talk to it and get into a heated argument

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

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Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

Last night, my wife got mad at me for kicking some ice cubes under the refrigerator...

...but now it's just water under the fridge.

I don't understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much...

They are a really good band

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Guurl is that ass a rubiks cube?

Because I just wanna give up and say fuck it.

What do you call a gathering of cubes?

A block party.

How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?

He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°

Ice Cube is 48 years old, but still hasn't melted. Do you know why?

Man's not hot.

Why did the ice cube drop out of highschool?

It was too cool for school.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was confused the other day when someone told me I can make ice cubes with left over wine.

What the fuck is "left over wine"?

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it.

Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.

What relates a good reddit post and a poorly kept cube?

RIP in box

I wrote a program that figures out if soup is made from scratch or from a cube

It returns a bouillon Boolean.

An ice cube decided to wear a new hat

A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"

The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.

Now he's looking liquid, dude.

I went to Sweden to look for some Oxo Cubes.

I hear they have a really good shop there called "Stockhome".

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What are the similarities between a Rubiks Cube and Anal?

You don't want it, but your dad still gives it to you

Ice cubes are very badass

I mean they float around their own blood

If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child...

they could call it Slush Puppy :)

Jesus tried to solve a Rubik's cube

He died on the cross.

What's the square root of a hyper cube?

A sugar cube!

How does Ice-Cube drink his milk?

Straight Outta Carton.

A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand

The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."

A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana...

It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call Dr Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube and MC Ren rapping on top of Mt. Everest?

Niggas with Altitude.

I tried sniffing coke once..

I got in trouble for this joke 12 years ago in high school.

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.

Two mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one laments that the average person knows very little about math. The second one disagrees, and they argue over this point for a while.

The first mathematician eventually gets up to use the restroom. While he’s away, the second mathematician calls the waitress over and tells her tha...

What's Fuzzy, Smokes, and Comes in Cubes?

Fidel Castro.

I just realized I have a superpower

I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them.

It takes a while though.

Mother, mother, ...

... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?

- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.

Parents in 1998: Don't believe everything you read on the internet

Parents in 2018: Did you know that dogs will die if you feed them ice cubes?

What do cats put in their drinks?

Mice cubes.

If a woman from Cuba marries a man from Iceland

Are their children called ice cubes?

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

Satan's Test

A rapist, thief, and murderer are standing in front of Satan as he sits on his throne.

"I've summoned you three here because I was feeling a bit kind today. I'll give each of you a chance to leave Hell. All you have to do is pass my test," Satan says. Of course, he designed his test such that...

A race steward noticed a horse trainer giving his horse something.

He confronts the man, "What are you giving that horse?" the steward demands. "Just some sugar cubes to give him a little energy" the trainer replies, popping one into his own mouth. "Here, try one", the trainer offers. The steward slips one of the sweet cubes past his lips. "Very well, carry on", sa...

What goes….. Click click click……..is that it?

Click click click……..is that it?

Click click click……..is that it?

Stevie Wonder doing a Rubik’s cube!

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A priest was assigned to a new church

He was really stressed out during his first mass; he could barely speak to the people. Before his second mass, he visited his superior and asked him how to suppress his nervousness. His superior told him to add some vodka into his water and after a few sips, he'd immediatly feel more relaxed.
...

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Watched a tutorial on how to get your dick stuck in a ceiling fan

Instructions weren't clear, solved a Rubik's cube blindfolded instead.

What do you call a hairy puzzle?

Pubik's Cube.

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An Asylum Tour

A benefactor by the name of John is touring an asylum to see how it is being ran. Occasionally, he sees an unusual patient and stops to talk.

The first man he comes across is grabbing the sides of his head and making a marked twisting motion. Concerned, John asks him what he's doing. Well, si...

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A giraffe walks into a bar...

He asks the bartender, "Do you have any giraffe drinks?"

The bartender thinks for a second and comes back with a drink with the longest straw you've ever seen.

"Asshole!" the offended giraffe exclaims, and he walks out.

The next day, a penguin walks into the bar. He asks the b...

Chuck Norris Compilation

Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...

Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because n...

What's the difference between LSD, and the church of LDS?

One to take with a sugar cube, the other you take with a grain of salt.

What is a programmer's favorite artificial meat flavoring?

A boolean cube

What is a wolfs favorite puzzle?

AWOOObix cube!

Crisis

Once upon a time, JFK had this Rubik's cube that he was extremely fond of. He was also rumored to be having a rather stormy relationship with a woman named Laura (I'll call her Ms. L). JFK went for a walk with his dog ever day between 10 and 11. One day, when he wasn't home, Khrushchev came in, nail...

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Q: What goes: click click click "Now? FUCK!" click click click "Now? FUCK!" etc...

A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube.

The Liar Ant

I saw an ant in the kitchen so I placed a sugar cube in front of her.

She inspected it and went to tell her friends, then I quickly hid the sugar cube coz I wanted them to think she's a liar.

My doctor said no more drinking.

so I froze my alcohol into cubes and ate them.

Mathematics works in mysterious ways...[possibly a joke just for UK redditors]

2x2= 4

1x1= 1

0x0= a small brown cube you put in a casserole.

One day...

President Kennedy left his Rubik's Cube in the Oval Office and went out. At the same time, Khrushchev was spending time with a certain Ms. L. Khrushchev got up to close the door and turn off the lights, and suddenly, Ms. L was gone. When Kennedy returned to hi office, the Rubik's Cube was nowhere to...

What do you call the kid of an Iceland and Cuban parents?

Ice cubes.

Blonde Inventions

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chair

Water proof tea bags

Zero pro...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 men at the gates of heaven...

Sadly though, heaven is too full and only one of them can make it across. God suggests that he will choose the man with the saddest death. The first guy goes,"I thought my wife was cheating on me, so one day, I decided to go home early to check. After I got home though, I found my wife in the shower...

Can someone help me find some videos of Al Gore dancing?

I'm trying to solve a Rubik's cube and a friend told me that using Al Gore Rhythms could help.

Three vampires walk into a bar...

The bartender asks the first vampire what he wants to drink. He replies, through a thick Transylvanian accent, "Warm blood." The bartender pulls a live rat out from under the bar, cleaves its head off, and drains the blood into a glass.

He asks the second vampire what he wants to drink, and...