UPJOKE
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Cube Jokes

You have three cups of coffee and 20 sugar cubes? How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes into each cup of coffee using all 20 sugar cubes.

1 cube in the first cup, 1 cube in the second, and 18 in the third because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put in coffee.

Americans are the best at solving Rubik’s Cube

They have a long history of sorting and separating colours

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A woman walks into a bank to deposit $100,000 in cash

The bank manager decides to handle this himself, as it’s such a large deposit. As he is processing her request, he asks, “Do you mind if I ask what it is you do for a living?”.

She says, “I make bets with people…For example, I bet you $50,000 that your testicles are cube shaped, like dice”....

If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be just water under the fridge.

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What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

I just completed a Rubik's Cube in seven seconds.

I dropped it into a tub of paint.

My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am......

.....


an Ice Cube

Cred: Russell Peters

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I was confused the other day when someone told me I can make ice cubes with left over wine.

What the fuck is "left over wine"?

If you’re ever choking on an ice cube

Just wait,

My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

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TIL that wombats poo is shaped like a cube instead of spherical.

I almost shit a brick.

Why are racists so good at solving rubik's cubes?

Cuz they looooove seperating colors.

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it.

Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.

When does a square become a cube?

When it hits cuberty.

An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

“Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.

*“Chill, it’s just a phase you’re going through.”*

Life is like a Rubik's cube

If you get one side of it all smooth and organized, you usually mess up all the other sides in the process.

What happens when an entire Borg cube is exasperated?

They let out a collective sigh.

I recently placed a sugar cube for an ant

When he left to get the rest of the ants, I quickly removed the sugar cube. Now everyone else thinks he lied.

Two mathematicians are in a bar

The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.

The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the w...

Why are there more white sugar cubes than brown sugar cubes?

Because demerera

I can complete a Rubik's Cube without touching it

Perk of being colour blind

I dropped an ice cube next to the freezer. It melted and got my sock wet the next time I went to the kitchen.

I was mad at first, but now it's mostly water under the fridge.

My friend asked me what the name of that famous ice cube movie was.

I replied, "Titanic?".

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Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

A person unsure if God exists rolled a numbered cube to determine the answer.

It was a diagnostic test.

What do Rubik’s cubes and your wee wee have in common?

Well for most people the more you play with them the harder they get... for me, I play with them for a few seconds and then it’s finished.

I went in to Dragon’s Den today with my ice cube company

But it didn’t go well and it went in to liquidation.
Not cool.

Since it's my cake day, I asked the Baker for 2 cubed loaves of cake.

They gave me 8. (8 year Cake Day).

Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?

Because cubes are platonic solids.

Why did the ice cube kill itself?

It felt so Ice-olated

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Why did the cube refused to fuck icosahedron?

Because their relationship was solidly platonic.

A cube walks into a bar...

A cube walks into a bar and comes out as a sphere. A passerby saw and asked them what happened. The sphere replied “oh I just had a drink to take the edge off”.

What do you call it when two Nissan Cubes get into an accident?

A wreck-tangle.

If the world were a cube

We'd all be Cubans!

My wife keeps telling me that soup is better with flavour cubes.

I don’t put too much stock in that.

What’s the difference between an amateur thief, a professional thief, and a Rubik’s cube?

An amateur thief says “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY” while a professional thief says “Sign here, please.”

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Ice Cube talking about why he doesn't want his girlfriend to role play as a cop.

"When I said fuck the police, this isn't what I meant."

What do you called ginger cut into cubes??

a Square Root.



... I'll see myself out

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

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Guurl is that ass a rubiks cube?

Because I just wanna give up and say fuck it.

Saw a woman frantically eating ice cubes earlier.

Absolutely perplexed, I asked her what on earth she was doing. She said she was worried about her baby due to the heat, so was eating ice cubes to cool the baby down.

Luckily she calmed down when i explained the baby will be at womb temprature.

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

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A Joke for Indigenous Peoples' Day

Once there was a native american named Lakota. All his tribe had normal teepees shaped like cones. But Lakota, repeatedly trying as he might could not make a normal teepee. Instead his teepee was very strange and shaped like a cube.

One day he went to an elder and asked, "why no matter how ha...

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What would you get if you shove some ice cubes in your asshole?

Some cool shit

A friend was freezing some ice cubes for me.

Let's say he was doing me a solid.

Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?

He liked ice before it was cool

What did the ice cube say to the glass of water?

I’m cooler than you

What would happen if the Earth was a Cube?

We'd all be cubans. ^^^^I'm ^^^^sorry

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What did Ice Cube say when his Teletubbies rental expired?

Fuck the Po lease

Ice cubes are very badass

I mean they float around their own blood

How does Ice-Cube drink his milk?

Straight Outta Carton.

I got arrested for giving criminals glasses of ice cubes.

Apparently you're considered to be a vigilante if you hand out just ice on the streets.

What's Ice Cubes least favorite sandwich?

A melt

Why did the student look underwater for square and cube numbers?

They’re indices

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In my experience women are a lot like Rubik’s Cubes.

They are incapable of achieving orgasms

How to make an ice cube melt faster?

Talk to it and get into a heated argument

What do you call a cube-crafting game that takes place in Iowa?

Des Moinescraft.

If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child...

they could call it Slush Puppy :)

What's the square root of a hyper cube?

A sugar cube!

I don't get why people say rubik's cubes are so hard. There's literally only one combination

Yes, I'm colorblind. Why are y'all asking?

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

I used to worry about the ice cubes I’d kick into the abyss under the refrigerator.

But I figure, what the hell.

It’s old water under the fridge.

Today I learned that I can make an ice cube melt just by concentrating on it and thinking ''Melt.''

I have to admit that it takes a lot longer than I expected.

I used to get irrationally angry at ice cubes and throw them onto the floor.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

Jesus tried to solve a Rubik's cube

He died on the cross.

Did you know I can melt an ice cube using the power of my mind.

Takes quite a white though.

Two mathematicians walk into a bar...

and begin to argue about the intelligence of the waitresses. One mathematician gets up, and on his way to the bathroom stops his server. He tells her: "I'll give you $5 is you answer "one-third x cubed" to the next question I ask you, ok?"
The server nods, and walks away. When the mathematician...

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

An ice cube decided to wear a new hat

A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"

The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.

Now he's looking liquid, dude.

What relates a good reddit post and a poorly kept cube?

RIP in box

Ice Cube is 48 years old, but still hasn't melted. Do you know why?

Man's not hot.

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?

He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°

Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat?

Because he got a little c-stick.

Two old guys are at a bar drinking a scotch on the rocks

First Guy: looking at his ice cubes, " these ice cubes have holes in them, when did they invent this stuff?"

Second guy: "Must be a long time ago, I have been married to one for forty years."

A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand

The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."

I went to Sweden to look for some Oxo Cubes.

I hear they have a really good shop there called "Stockhome".

What's Fuzzy, Smokes, and Comes in Cubes?

Fidel Castro.

Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a very well thawed out plan

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, ...

... arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician
claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that
it was surprisingly high.


"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math que...

My brother has Aspergers. When you give him a Rubik's cube it takes him like 12 seconds to...

... say “Thank you“.

How can you tell that an ice cube didn’t graduate from college in the US?

Because it has 0 degrees.
Also because it uses the Celsius scale.

I was filling my water bottle from the freezer door, and an ice cube fell out and slid out of reach

I was about to get angry but then I realized, no, now it’s just water under the fridge

I wrote a program that figures out if soup is made from scratch or from a cube

It returns a bouillon Boolean.

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