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Timeline Jokes

Found this in my timeline...

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, th...

There is a timeline where Rick doesn’t make Rick Roll

He tried to write a song, but instead he gave up. He let himself down. He ran away and deserted the idea. He cried, he said goodbye, he even lied to and hurt himself.

If an old person looks through their Facebook timeline

You could say that the Elder Scrolls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timeline of r/jokes

Primary Beginning: (Small Community) Decent jokes, good laughs.

Secondary Beginning: (Decent Sized Community) Good Jokes, Very Good laughs.

Early Middle Years: (Large Community) Faction of Reposters have begun to show themselves.

Later Middle Years: (Huge Community) Most of the ...

What do you do when a timeline dies?

Barry it.

A Bit of French Church Humor (Found on my FB timeline)

Poster found in a Church in France... (translated):

"When you enter this church it may be possible that you hear "the call of God". However, it is unlikely that He will call you on your mobile. Thank you for turning off your phones. If you want to talk to God, enter, choose a quiet place and ...

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A time traveler meets Adolf Hitler in a bar

Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with Hitler.

The time traveler looked at Hitler and asked “So how are you doing?”

“Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.”

“Well that sucks, you’ll probably land on your fe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Terminator franchise get reclassified as porn?

Because they thoroughly fucked the timeline.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"When I learned how to edit videos I felt like the Flash..."

Friend: "Why, because you fast learner?"

Me: "No, because I fucked up the timeline."

What's the difference between Doctor Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident.

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident. They died and went to heaven. At st. Peters gate, they were told it wasn't their time to die, so they will be sent back to earth. As a reward for their good earthly deeds they will allowed to go back to earth as whom they want regardless of timeline.
1st ...

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