This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth,and quickly closes the shop.

He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus-stop.

The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.

When a bus arriv...

LPT: If you know somebody with dyslexia that uses public transport, offer to help them read their timetable to prevent any mixups.

Whoops, wrong bus.

My wife was depressed

She phoned me and said "I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're doing nothing to help me"

So I sent her a timetable.

What do you call a Lada at the top of a hill?

A miracle.

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A man drives his Lada to a mechanic and asks, "Can I have a spare hubcap for my Lada?" The mechanic says, "Sounds like a fair trade."

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A Russian man enters a car raffle. Dropping the tic...

Two brothers in a village

So there were two brothers who lived in a little village with their parents. The older brother had a cat, and what a beautiful cat it was! He loved his cat, absolutely adored it. So one day the older brother's boss told him that he had to go on an assignment to the capital city for the weekend. The ...

Three kids are talking at school...

The first one says: "my dad is a formula one driver; he is super fast!" The second one answers: "Really? My dad is a pilot, and with his jet he is even faster than your dad!" They both turn to the last kid. He puts down his cookie, and tells the others: "My dad is so fast, his timetable says he fini...

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