UPJOKE
gigglelaughfondleamuselaughterticklingcharles darwinvellicatetitillationcacklethrilltitillatesnickerchortleexcite

I was fired from my job in the Tickle Me Elmo factory

My boss didn't like me giving each Elmo two test tickles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tickle Me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manage...

How do you tickle a rich girl?

Say “Gucci Gucci Gucci!”

How long does a man have to tickle a woman before it becomes hentai?

Long enough for ten tickles.

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

Turned the tables on my 8-year-old son.

Son: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”

Me: “I don’t know; how many?”

Son: “Ten tickles.”

Me: “Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.”

Son: “Huh?”

Me: “Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tel...

Tickled my little sisters foot last night and mom went crazy about it…

Something about waiting until she’s born

My friend just tickled me with a penny.

She said I needed a cents of humor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry?

10 tickles

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tickling

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and...

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten-tickles.

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles!

What is it Called when the Doctor have to tickle you to see if you're concious?

Test Tickle.

What taste tickles a MILF lover's taste buds?

Umami.

What does a Spanish photon say when you tickle it?

“No mass! No mass!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to an animal market

He goes up to a rooster seller and buys a rooster.

The seller hands it to him and says, "Oh, in this business, we call it a cock".

The man takes note and goes to buy a hen from a seller.

The seller hands it to him after paying and tells him "By the way, in this business, we call...

Cakeday favorite string of jokes. How many tickles does it take to tickle a squid?

Tentacles.
How do you check that? Test tickles!
What did the octopus think? You gotta be squidding me!

Man tries to tickle.

A man was sitting next to his wife. He reaches over and tries to tickle her,

"Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!'

The woman says, "Stop!"

The man tries to tickle her again,

"Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!"

"Stop, please!" She asked.

The man tries to tickle her once more,
<...

Whomever said laughter is the best medicine...

clearly hasn't tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.

Does every Tickle-Me-Elmo have to have test-tickles before they leave the factory?

No, Not every one, only the males

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you kill a blue Elephant?

With a blue elephant gun obviously.

*How do you kill a red elephant?*

You choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How do you kill a green elephant?*

You tickle it til it turns red then choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How ...

What do you get when you tickle Chuck Norris?

Chuckle Norris.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tickle your ass with a feather?

A homeless man is sitting on curb across from a bar. He watches a man across the way speaking to every woman who passes by. Eventually, he leaves with one of the women.  The next day, the same thing happens.  The next day, the homeless man inquires about the man’s secret. “Every woman who passes by,...

I built a machine that tickles you.

I have been asking people to try it. But nobody seems to want to try some test tickles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What tests did they do when they created Tickle Me Elmo?

Testicles

Joke my dad loved

What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?


Two test tickles

Fishing tickle

In the window of a hardware store was a sign inscribed 'Fishing Tickle.'

A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling. 'Hasn't anyone told you of it before?' asked the customer.

'Oh, yes,' the proprietor responded placidly, 'many have mentioned it. But whenever they come ...

I tickled my brother's feet and got in trouble

The reason was because they said I had to wait for him to be born.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do senators like tickled during sex?

Their SCOTUS

Someone tickled me today and then asked: "Did you feel that?"

It was nice to finally receive a stimulus check.

My son is studying to become a lawyer, so I texted him, "If you tickle a man to death by accident, is it considered..."

"...manslaughter?!"

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her two test tickles

I will see myself out. Thank you and have a good day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

with a tickle of a man's balls...

A man gets out of hospital after having plastic surgery on his face. Happy with the work he goes to the nearest bar, orders a drink and asks the barman, "How old do you think I am?". The barman looks at him "42... 43?", the man then quickly replies " I'm 54! Ha!", finishes his drink and leaves.
<...

My girlfriend has a tickle fetish, so I decided to practice on my coworkers

Unfortunately I was fired when my test-tickles were exposed to upper management.

How many tickles does it take to confirm your identity?

Just 2 test tickles.

What do you call a group of people that run around and tickle people?

A Gucci Gucci Gang

How does Hasbro test tickle me elmo's?

They have test-tickles.

Yesterday, someone tickled my bone...

...It wasnt Humerus

What did the cow say when the chicken tried to tickle her?

"I'm not in the MOOOOOOOd!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you tickle santas balls

A white Christmas

A young woman gets her first job at the Tickle-me Elmo factory.

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his...

A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory...

...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My girlfriend wanted to find out if my balls were super sensitive or not

So she gave them a test tickle.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.