How did the octopus tickle a man ten times?

With it's tentacles.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh

TEN Tickles

How do you tickle a rich girl?

'Gucci, Gucci, Gucci!'

A young woman gets her first job at the Tickle-me Elmo factory.

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his...

What is it called when you poke someone to see if it tickles?

A test tickle.

What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tickle your ass with a feather?

A homeless man is sitting on curb across from a bar. He watches a man across the way speaking to every woman who passes by. Eventually, he leaves with one of the women.  The next day, the same thing happens.  The next day, the homeless man inquires about the man’s secret. “Every woman who passes by,...

I built a machine that tickles you.

I have been asking people to try it. But nobody seems to want to try some test tickles.

How many tickles does it take to confirm your identity?

Just 2 test tickles.

Tickled my little sister's foot this morning. Mom went crazy about it.

Something about waiting until she's born.

My dating profile says I’m an adrenaline junky who laughs in the face of danger and my hobbies include walking on thousands of blades bare footed for fun. I just love the way the blades tickle my feet and there is no way I’m going to be stopped

by a “Keep off the Grass” sign.

Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

Because the grass tickles their balls

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

What do you get when you tickle Chuck Norris?

Chuckle Norris.

Are you ready for a bone-afide good story that will definitely tickle your funny bone?

In a land far far away, lives a locksmith. This locksmith however, has two very special traits. One, he is an undead skeleton retired from being a lowly exp grind mob, and two, is able to open any lock. His skills are unrivaled, but when even he is stumped, he can detach one of his bones to utilize ...

I got fired from my job assembling Tickle me Elmos

I misunderstood what they meant when they said I was supposed to give each one “two test tickles”

What do you call a group of people that run around and tickle people?

A Gucci Gucci Gang

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Italian, Frenchman and a Redneck...

An Italian, Frenchman and redneck were comparing lovemaking skills. The Italian says, ‘When I’ve a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy.

The Frenchman replies. "zat is noting, when Ah’ve fini...

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How are kinky, exotic, and perverted sex different?

Kinky is when you tickle your lover's ass with a feather.
Exotic is when you use the whole chicken.
Perverted is when your lover is the chicken

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A little tickle...

One day a drunk was sitting next to a corner. A guy standing on the corner said to an attractive woman "Tickle your ass with a feather?". The woman, offended, said "What did you say!?". The man says "Particularly nice weather", and the woman went along her way.

As the drunk watched, the man d...

I tickled my friend while he was driving.

We wrecked and he died.

I was charged with vehicular man’s laughter.

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A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory...

The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole...

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her two test tickles

I will see myself out. Thank you and have a good day

Fishing tickle

In the window of a hardware store was a sign inscribed 'Fishing Tickle.'

A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling. 'Hasn't anyone told you of it before?' asked the customer.

'Oh, yes,' the proprietor responded placidly, 'many have mentioned it. But whenever they come ...

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A LONG ONE( but worth it): One wet, cold morning...

A bus driver was just starting along his route. It was still dark and raining and the temperature hovered just above freezing.

As he approached the first stop on his route he could see some poor soul laying on the bench. He stopped the bus, opened the doors and called out to the soaking wet p...

A guy gets a new job working at a factory that makes 'Tickle Me Elmos'.

On his first day the foreman greets him and goes through the manufacturing process step by step.

When he's satisfied that everything is understood the foreman leaves saying he'll return at the end of the day to check over the work and make sure everything went ok.

So the end of the day...

What did the cow say when the chicken tried to tickle her?

"I'm not in the MOOOOOOOd!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife bought my son a "tickle me Elmo" for his birthday.

I told her to make sure it works before buying it.

When my son opened it, Elmo had two huge balls attached to his groin!

"What's wrong?" said my wife, "You told me to do this"

"Ffs. I told you to give it some test tickles..."

Mr. Tickle proposed to the girl of his dreams… But Tess was reluctant to take his surname.

…but Tess was reluctant to take his surname.

Why did the kid get creeped out when he was with his uncle playing with an octopus?

Because he expected 8 but he got ten-tickles

A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory...

...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct.

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with a tickle of a man's balls...

A man gets out of hospital after having plastic surgery on his face. Happy with the work he goes to the nearest bar, orders a drink and asks the barman, "How old do you think I am?". The barman looks at him "42... 43?", the man then quickly replies " I'm 54! Ha!", finishes his drink and leaves.
<...

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A homeless man is walking through a park...

He sits next to a man on a bench. A hot woman walks by.


Man: "Can I tickle your ass with a feather?"

Woman: "Excuse me?!!!?"

Man: "I said it's particularly nice weather."

Woman: "Oh, um, yes it is."


She keeps walking. Bum is thinking 'what the fuck?'...

How does Hasbro test tickle me elmo's?

They have test-tickles.

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