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Tickle Me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manage...

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten tickles.

What taste tickles a MILF lover's taste buds?

Umami.

My son is studying to become a lawyer, so I texted him, "If you tickle a man to death by accident, is it considered..."

"...manslaughter?!"

How many times would you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten-tickles.

Of course it only has eight of those,

So the first two would be test-tickles.

How do you know that Tickle Me Elmo is male?

Before he leaves the factory, they give him two test tickles.

What does a Spanish photon say when you tickle it?

“No mass! No mass!”

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What tests did they do when they created Tickle Me Elmo?

Testicles

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Moving his hand all over her

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite sometime.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her s...

What happens when you tickle an egg?

It cracks up!

How do you tickle a rich girl?

Say “Gucci Gucci Gucci!”

I tickled my little sister's foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it...

..something about waiting until she was born

Does every Tickle-Me-Elmo have to have test-tickles before they leave the factory?

No, Not every one, only the males

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

Cakeday favorite string of jokes. How many tickles does it take to tickle a squid?

Tentacles.
How do you check that? Test tickles!
What did the octopus think? You gotta be squidding me!

How many tickles does it take to turn on a anime girl?

Tentacles

So Prince Andrew is missing the celebrations due to Covid

A spokeman has said he just had a minor tickle.

Someone tickled me today and then asked: "Did you feel that?"

It was nice to finally receive a stimulus check.

I built a machine that tickles you.

I have been asking people to try it. But nobody seems to want to try some test tickles.

Man tries to tickle.

A man was sitting next to his wife. He reaches over and tries to tickle her,

"Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!'

The woman says, "Stop!"

The man tries to tickle her again,

"Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!"

"Stop, please!" She asked.

The man tries to tickle her once more,
<...

I tickled my brother the other day and got into trouble for it

My mom said that he has to be born before i can do that

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How do you kill a blue Elephant?

With a blue elephant gun obviously.

*How do you kill a red elephant?*

You choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How do you kill a green elephant?*

You tickle it til it turns red then choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How ...

What do you get when you tickle Chuck Norris?

Chuckle Norris.

My girlfriend has a tickle fetish, so I decided to practice on my coworkers

Unfortunately I was fired when my test-tickles were exposed to upper management.

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What do senators like tickled during sex?

Their SCOTUS

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Tickle your ass with a feather?

A homeless man is sitting on curb across from a bar. He watches a man across the way speaking to every woman who passes by. Eventually, he leaves with one of the women.  The next day, the same thing happens.  The next day, the homeless man inquires about the man’s secret. “Every woman who passes by,...

Why do dwarfs laugh when playing soccer?

The grass tickles their balls.

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A man goes to an animal market

He goes up to a rooster seller and buys a rooster.

The seller hands it to him and says, "Oh, in this business, we call it a cock".

The man takes note and goes to buy a hen from a seller.

The seller hands it to him after paying and tells him "By the way, in this business, we call...

What do you call a group of people that run around and tickle people?

A Gucci Gucci Gang

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What do you get when you tickle santas balls

A white Christmas

My dating profile says I’m an adrenaline junky who laughs in the face of danger and my hobbies include walking on thousands of blades bare footed for fun. I just love the way the blades tickle my feet and there is no way I’m going to be stopped

by a “Keep off the Grass” sign.

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"Tickle your a** with a feather?"

A young man decides to go out one evening and find himself a date.

He posts up at his local bar, and - after some liquid courage - decides to chat up a few ladies.

After a few hours of no luck, he notices an older gent sitting at the end of the bar, surrounded by beautiful women, lau...

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[NSFW] My girlfriend wanted to find out if my balls were super sensitive or not

So she gave them a test tickle.

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her two test tickles

I will see myself out. Thank you and have a good day

A young woman gets her first job at the Tickle-me Elmo factory.

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his...

What is it called when you poke someone to see if it tickles?

A test tickle.

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John was livid that his Elmo puppet assembly line was severely backed up...

John was livid that his Tickle-me Elmo puppet assembly line was severely backed up.

He picked up the latest Tickle-me Elmo puppet and noticed two fuzzy balls sewed between its legs.

John followed the assembly line to the source of the problem and he saw his new Employee, Sarah, surroun...

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The town drunk is sitting at a bar and notices a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar

As he works up his courage to approach her he sees another guy walk up to the woman and say a few words . Then the woman gets up and they both leave the bar.

The next day he’s at the same bar and there is a different beautiful woman. But before her can walk over, the same dude quickly w...

How many tickles does it take to confirm your identity?

Just 2 test tickles.

What did the cow say when the chicken tried to tickle her?

"I'm not in the MOOOOOOOd!"

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A little tickle...

One day a drunk was sitting next to a corner. A guy standing on the corner said to an attractive woman "Tickle your ass with a feather?". The woman, offended, said "What did you say!?". The man says "Particularly nice weather", and the woman went along her way.

As the drunk watched, the man d...

What’s the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Mr. Tickle proposed to the girl of his dreams… But Tess was reluctant to take his surname.

…but Tess was reluctant to take his surname.

Fishing tickle

In the window of a hardware store was a sign inscribed 'Fishing Tickle.'

A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling. 'Hasn't anyone told you of it before?' asked the customer.

'Oh, yes,' the proprietor responded placidly, 'many have mentioned it. But whenever they come ...

A guy gets a new job working at a factory that makes 'Tickle Me Elmos'.

On his first day the foreman greets him and goes through the manufacturing process step by step.

When he's satisfied that everything is understood the foreman leaves saying he'll return at the end of the day to check over the work and make sure everything went ok.

So the end of the day...

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with a tickle of a man's balls...

A man gets out of hospital after having plastic surgery on his face. Happy with the work he goes to the nearest bar, orders a drink and asks the barman, "How old do you think I am?". The barman looks at him "42... 43?", the man then quickly replies " I'm 54! Ha!", finishes his drink and leaves.
<...

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

Ten-tickles!

Courtesy of Ben Morehead of the Goulet Pen team.

Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn.

Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!"
Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth", and went to sleep.
Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve.

"What the heck are you doing?" he asked
"I'm count...

I needed to catch a bear to complete my zoo…

So I called a bear catcher.

The bear catcher shows up in his truck the next day. He gets out of his truck with a feather, some rope and a gun along side his dog, Blue.

He says that Blue is an expert bear tracker. He will find us a bear and run it up a tree.

“I’m going to chase...

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My wife bought my son a "tickle me Elmo" for his birthday.

I told her to make sure it works before buying it.

When my son opened it, Elmo had two huge balls attached to his groin!

"What's wrong?" said my wife, "You told me to do this"

"Ffs. I told you to give it some test tickles..."

A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory...

...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct.

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Tickle Me Elmo Factory

The Tickle Me Elmo factory has just hired a new employee, and today's her first day on the job. The plant manager gives her a quick tour of the assembly line, then shows the employee her station at the end of the line where she will be operating. The morning whistle blows and production on the line ...

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I like to tickle my girlfriend when we have anal sex

Just for shits and giggles

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