This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's 6 foot long, vibrates and turns a small penis into a giant prick?

A motorcycle.

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A Man Buys His Wife A Special Type Of Dildo

A man was looking around a sex store searching for a special sex toy to buy his wife so that she won't screw around on him while he is away on a business trip for a few weeks.

After not finding anything special he asks the old man working the store.

The old man replies "Well there is...

A deaf man had a bike helmet that would vibrate if there was a loud noise from behind him to alert him of any vehicle’s presence

I guess you could call it his handy cap

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These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What is six inches long, fits in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates?

A toothbrush, you perverts.

A new wardrobe from IKEA

A woman buys a new wardrobe and puts it together. She is pretty proud of it, but since they're living right next to a highway, as soon as the bus rattles by, the vibrations cause the wardrobe to collapse. She builds it again, but the next bus makes it come back down again.

She goes and gets t...

Life is not fair

My mom said i couldn’t get a lightsaber but she bought herself a purple lightsaber, to make matters worse, it vibrates and it’s in some crooked shape, but on the bright side, it’s short.

What is big, vibrates and makes a woman scream when put inside her?

A chainsaw.

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A man goes to the doctor with a terrible problem

“Doctor, I think I have a problem with my farts. I can pass really loud gas, but no smell would come out of them.”

“That sounds serious. Can you try letting one out now?”

So the man farts, and true to his word, it’s so loud that the exam room’s windows even vibrate.

“Just as I f...

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