UPJOKE
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The Green Dickie!

A nymphomaniac just couldn't get enough pleasure. Not from any man, nor any of the many toys she had collected over the years.

One day, while having coffee with a girlfriend, she told her friend about this problem. Her friend knew exactly what she needed, and gave her the name of a ...

A deaf man had a bike helmet that would vibrate if there was a loud noise from behind him to alert him of any vehicle’s presence

I guess you could call it his handy cap

A hobbit always sets his cellphone to vibrate.

Because he’s afraid the ring would give him away.

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What's 6 foot long, vibrates and turns a small penis into a giant prick?

A motorcycle.

I lost my phone when it was on vibrate

I guess if I loved it so much I should have put a ring on it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Buys His Wife A Special Type Of Dildo

A man was looking around a sex store searching for a special sex toy to buy his wife so that she won't screw around on him while he is away on a business trip for a few weeks.

After not finding anything special he asks the old man working the store.

The old man replies "Well there is...

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What do tooth brushes and sex toys have in common?

They're better when they vibrate.

What is six inches long, fits in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates?

A toothbrush, you perverts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

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