A girl invites her boyfriend over.

Before he leaves, he texts her saying he'll be there in half an hour.

"I'll be thinking about you the whole time," she texts back.

He decides to dial her number on the way there, but she doesn't pick up.

He shrugs it off, thinking she might be busy. After a few minutes pass, he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's 6 foot long, vibrates and turns a small penis into a giant prick?

A motorcycle.

A deaf man had a bike helmet that would vibrate if there was a loud noise from behind him to alert him of any vehicle’s presence

I guess you could call it his handy cap

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Buys His Wife A Special Type Of Dildo

A man was looking around a sex store searching for a special sex toy to buy his wife so that she won't screw around on him while he is away on a business trip for a few weeks.

After not finding anything special he asks the old man working the store.

The old man replies "Well there is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do tooth brushes and sex toys have in common?

They're better when they vibrate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What's at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and better if it vibrates?

A toothbrush

What is big, vibrates and makes a woman scream when put inside her?

A chainsaw.

A new wardrobe from IKEA

A woman buys a new wardrobe and puts it together. She is pretty proud of it, but since they're living right next to a highway, as soon as the bus rattles by, the vibrations cause the wardrobe to collapse. She builds it again, but the next bus makes it come back down again.

She goes and gets t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.