Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?

He lost his Hedwig.

A woman had chronic headaches.

She had them since she was in her early teens, and had gone to the doctor, had x-rays, scans, medication, and nothing seemed to help. Finally, she went to a headache specialist, and he told her that her left breast was the cause. The only treatment was to remove the breast. The good news was that he...

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the
porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"


Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
"How about $50?"

...

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants.

I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

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Two rich kids are caught doing drugs by a cop...

The cop recognizes them and tells them: "Since you have parents in high places, I'm gonna offer you a propisition. In 3 days from now, I want to find other teens like yourself and convince them to quit drugs."

3 days have past, and the two come to the officer with their results.

The fi...

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Nowadays teens could just look up porn on the internet. Back in my day, they only had porn in the stores. But they wouldn’t sell it to us because we were underage. So we had to pool our money and give it to the homeless guy outside of the store.

He then would strip and play with himself for us. It wasn’t terrible but my point is you kids got it easy.

The other day, I read that 40 percent of teens have tried drugs in school...

That was a hard pill to swallow.

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(Nsfw)Went to pornhub the other day there was a lot of videos titled "bbc destroys teen"...

I don't know why the British Broadcasting Corporation is destroying the lives of teens..but I for one think it shows lack of journalistic integrity.

How many teens does it take to change a light bulb

1, they stand there and wait for the world to revolve around them

Cop pulls up next to two teens in a dark parking spot.

He is surprised to find they are sitting there, literally just reading.

"Why are you reading? How old are you?"

"I'm 19 officer."

"And her?"

"Oh, she'll be 18 in 20 minutes."

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I was checking into a hotel with my family and given that my sons are in their teens...

I murmured to the receptionist: "Is the porn channel disabled?"

"No," she snarled, "it's the regular kind, you sick fuck!"

What’s something pregnant teens and their fetuses have in common?

They both think “mom is gonna kill me”

What do you call a group of depressed teens?

A hangout

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A man suffering from severe headaches since his late teens decides to see a doctor

The doctor promptly begins examining him and says: "Well the good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration.

"What?" The man exclaims. "There must be some other way".

"Unfortunately not sir. You have a very rare condition which causes your testi...

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What do you call a creepy old guy who hangs out at malls, and has sex with under age teens?

In Alabama, your Honor, but soon it will be "Senator".

Parents of 12 year old gravel pits are always nervous...

The quarry teens are notoriously awful.

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Halloween teens Party

A young boy walks into a Halloween teen party with no shirt on, only wearing a pair of loose jeans.

The host says, “Well, , this is a costume party.”

The young boy responds, “I’m in costume. I’m a premature ejaculation.”

The host asks, “how’s that?”

“I just came in my pan...

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

What motivates teens to protest climate change?

They're doing it for the Greta good.

19 early teens went to a cinema to watch a dirty movie...

... they said "let us in, we're over 18".

If Snapchat has taught me anything ...

... it's that a lot of today's teens look better as farm animals.

The government swore to shut down Fortnite due to claims of the video game aggravating children and teens worldwide.

Two weeks later, Fortnight was finished.

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Alright class. Today, we're going to educate all teens about safe sex.

Or E.A.T.A.S.S for short

I'm 37 years old, a husband, and a father of two pre-teens AND I don't tell Dad jokes...

because he left when I was 2.

Saint Peter and God are talking about today's teenagers

Saint Peter and God are talking about today's teenagers.

God says "Today all teenagers use drugs"

"You're right" replies Peter "I will now go on earth to see if really all teenagers use them"

After a bit Peter returns and tells God that the teens are coming. Few seconds later so...

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What's the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One's all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens

Teens these days often forget to practice safe eating

Always use condiments

2 Black teens enroll in Harvard. 1 studies to be a Medical Doctor, the other studies to be a lawyer. If becoming a doctor takes 4 years of class and 3 years of residency and becoming lawyer takes 1 years less of school then which one....

.... will get shot in a routine traffic stop first?

Three teens are granted a wish each..

Nothing special happens, they all just wish you'd leave them alone.

What do you call it when a school is made for Tumblr teens?

Edgy-cation....



I’m sorry

We all know that seven ate nine... We were even more disgusted to hear that seven was a six offender... It turns out that the most infamous number didn’t stop there...

Seven cut four teens in half!

So I've heard there's a heroin epidemic among white teens...

I guess they're used to shooting up to solve their problems

I saw a news story about teens getting high while washing in the shower...

They said it was leading to harder drug use and a real slippery soap.

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Grandma joke

3 teenagers are walking in their neighbourhood, when they come across a house with an red apple tree in the garden.

The 3 go over the fence and steal some apples to eat.

While they are eating the apples, the grandma sees them and shouts:“Hey don’t steal my apples you little shits”
<...

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Always get a second opinion.

A guy started getting horrible migraines in his late teens. He went to the doctor who told him he has a rare testicular disorder that was restricting blood flow to his brain, resulting in the blinding headaches. Unfortunately, “the only way to be rid of them is to remove your testicles.”

“Who...

[nsfw] Apparently, my father thinks children are out of reach, but early teens are fair game.

That's when he allowed me to take horse riding classes, as by that time I was tall enough to correctly grip the saddle, and falls weren't a big risk anymore.

What’s the difference between catholic priests and pimples?

Pimples doesn’t come on young boys faces until they are in their teens.

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