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Beige Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between having sex with a hooker, your girlfriend and your wife?

Hooker says, "are you done yet?"

Your girlfriend says, "you're done already?"

And your wife says, "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

I before E except after C

I would have never guessed the color Beige to be the most rebellious.

I before E

Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the differences in what a mistress, a hooker, and a housewife think about during sex?

The whole time, the mistress is thinking, ”I wish this would last forever!”

The hooker is thinking, “Ten more minutes and this will all be over.”

And the housewife is thinking, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the kitchen beige.”

My son can only see in shades of beige,

Doctors have diagnosed him with colour-blandness.

I before e

Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

I want to repaint my room a shade of white...

...but I can't decide between "eggshell", "beige", or "2016 Oscars".

What's the difference between a lover, a hooker, and a wife after twenty years of marriage?

Your lover says "Oooh, more, deeper, longer!"
Your hooker says "Cmon, cmon, let's get this over with!"
Your wife says "Beige! Beige! I'm going to paint the ceiling beige."

Bob always wears the same pants

He wears them to work, he wears them at home, and he wears them outside.

I, being someone who likes to mix things up, try to discourage him from this.

The same beige pants every day. Really starts to put a strain on your eyes.

So I asked him why he wears them, and he responds th...

An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor...

...the tattooist looks him over, and asks "So... what do you want?"

The albino guy replies, "BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."

What's the most racist color?

Beige. It's alt white.

A couple called in a contractor to do some updates to their house and landscape.

A couple called in a contractor to do some updates to their house and landscape. They all walk in to the bedroom and they tell him they were thinking about painting it blue because there's a baby boy on the way. He walks to the window and yells "Green side up!" The couple look at one another a bit c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WHY PEOPLE HATE SCHOOL RE-UNIONS

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey...

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

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