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I was told taking Viagra helps with sunburn.

It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

Did you hear Adele got a really bad sunburn?

She details the experience in her new song, "Aloe From the Other Side"

I told my roommate he should date girls that sunburn easily...

He might find them more a peeling

How do you treat a sunburn in Hawaii?

With Aloe-ha Vera!

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I just created a web site for English girls who got a sunburn at the nude beach.

It's called Redtit.

A man was sun bathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.

A women walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift
your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift
itself."

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I've been taking Viagra lately

I've been taking Viagra lately before bed because of my sunburn.

It doesn't cure it but it does keep the sheets a couple of inches off my thighs.

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I've started using Viagra to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets off my legs.

I was playing outside all day with my daughter and when we got home, we noticed that I was completely sunburn!

She asked me, "Daddy, why didn't I get sunburn?"

I guffawed, "You can't, honey!"

She looked at me quizzically, "Really?"

I smiled, "You can only get daughterburn!"

My mother always said that the sun heals all ailments

But my sunburn doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better

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A man sunbathes nude and gets a sunburn on his penis

He goes to the doctor and asks him what to do.

His doctor says that he should put it in a saucer of milk for an hour a day for a week to help.

That night he decides to try it.

His wife comes home and sees him with his dick in some milk and says “oh I’ve always wondered how you r...

What do you call a sunburned librarian?

Well red.

Why did the Republican get a sunburn?

Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.

I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach...

I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner.

I got a sunburn on the beach yesterday whilst reading about trigonometry.

...you should see my tan lines today

What happens when you get a sunburn at the beach?

You become Bernie Sanders.

I got really badly sunburned yesterday, and was in agony this morning. My mother advised using tomato juice to ease the pain. I was very skeptical at first but she was right...

... I'm now on my seventh bloody mary and I can barely feel a thing.

What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn?

Oinkment!

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A man is sunbathing on a nude beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.

A woman passes by and notices the hat.

She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."

The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

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A man and his beautiful blonde wife liked to sunbath in the nude. On a trip to the Caribbean, the man fell asleep in the hot mid-day sun...

... while his wife was out shopping. Hours later he woke up with a terribly painful sunburn on his privates. The hotel medical attendant recommended applying cold milk to his penis to prevent blistering.

His wife came home to find her husband sitting with his member soaking in a large saucer ...

A watched pot never boils

but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses

Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?

It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors

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A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:

"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."

To which the man replies:

"Ma'a...

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A guy was getting ready for a dinner-date with a stunning blonde.

He looked at the mirror and thought: "I should get some color! I know a safe place to get a tan on my roof."


It was blazing hot that day; he went to the roof, undressed, and decided to tan for 30 minutes.


Unfortunately, he fell asleep; and when he woke up, he was badly burned ...

A Cowboy is riding his horse on his first trip to cowtown when he reaches a fork in the road...

At the fork, there is a sign which reads "Reddit go right, cowtown go left." The cowboy, confused and having never heard of Reddit, decides to give in to his curiosity and go right.

After riding for a mile or so on the path, he reaches another fork. This sign reads "Reddit go right, cowtown ...

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So I was dating this one blonde girl and decided that I was going to tan

So I was dating this blonde girl and decided that I was going to tan before we went to dinner that night. So I got out on my roof,fully nude, and laid out. While laying on my back, I accidentally fell asleep on the roof, causing me to get a BAD sunburn everywhere including my pecker. However, I didn...

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I got really badly sunburnt yesterday so i took some viagra...

...it didnt help the sunburn any but it kept the sheets off me.

What is black white and red all over?

A sunburned penguin

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

The longest joke in the world

From: http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again....

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So a guy is sunbathing nude......

as he has a very hot date later in the evening. He over sleeps and gets a terrible sunburn on his front side. He applies all of the lotion he can and heads off to the date. The couple has a great dinner and they head back to his place. The two are making out pretty heavy and she is grinding on his b...

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God and Moses are playing golf on Saturn one day...

Moses says to god, "What you got planned for the weekend G? Wanna head out to mercury and lay on the beach, drink some beers, maybe get some ass?

God says "Nah man, last time I went out there I got hammered and passed out in the sun, woke up with the worst sunburn ever, ruined my whole tri...

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An anthropologist is completing his lifelong study of world dance...

And he's celebrating. Celebrating his tail off.

See, he'd spent the last 25 years cataloging every single dance performed by every group in the world. Polish Bogarodzicas. Sioux Buckskin dances to Seminole Green Corn dances. Inuit dances to the whales, Ghanaian Kpanlongo, Finnish step-dance. ...

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Why don't bats sleep outside?

You ever deal with a sunburned asshole?

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