UPJOKE
burnsunscreenskinacnetansuntanerythemaultravioletsunerythema solaresunlightpainitchingedemanausea

Sunburn Jokes

A man was sun bathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.

A women walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift
your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift
itself."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've started using Viagra to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets off my legs.

Why do sunburned people get more dates?

Because they're a peeling . . .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Treatment For Sunburn!

A guy visiting over here in Puerto Rico fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the sever...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a drug that helps me sleep when I have a sunburn

It’s called viagra. It doesn’t help with the burn, but it keeps the sheets off my legs

I told my roommate he should date girls that sunburn easily...

He might find them more a peeling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS! Viagra as treatment for sunburns...

It doesn't cure it but it sure keeps the sheets off of your legs at night...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once I got so sunburned

Once I got so sunburned I went to the ER and they gave me aspirin and Viagra. The aspirin to reduce my fever and the Viagra to help keep the sheets off my legs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor with severe sunburn

He’s asks the doctor, “Is theirs anything you can do to help relieve the pain as it is so bad I can barely sleep at night.”
The doctor prescribes the man a weeks supply of viagra.
“How will this ease the pain of my sunburn?!” The man asks before the doctor replies “It won’t but it will keep th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Viagra is great for sunburn!

Take it before you go to bed at night, and it keeps the sheets off your skin and stops you rolling over in bed too!

What do you call a sunburned librarian?

Well red.

Did you hear Adele got a really bad sunburn?

She details the experience in her new song, "Aloe From the Other Side"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sunbathing on a nude beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.

A woman passes by and notices the hat.

She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."

The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sunbathes nude and gets a sunburn on his penis

He goes to the doctor and asks him what to do.

His doctor says that he should put it in a saucer of milk for an hour a day for a week to help.

That night he decides to try it.

His wife comes home and sees him with his dick in some milk and says “oh I’ve always wondered how you r...

What does a Hawaiian comedian put on a sunburn?

Aloe-Ha!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been unable to sleep due to severely sunburned legs. I went to the doctor and he prescribed Viagra.

Me: "Wow, I didn't know Viagra helps for sunburn."

Doc: "It doesn't, but it will help keep the bedding off your legs."

What happens when you get a sunburn at the beach?

You become Bernie Sanders.

I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach...

I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner.

How do you treat a sunburn in Hawaii?

With Aloe-ha Vera!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just created a web site for English girls who got a sunburn at the nude beach.

It's called Redtit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

He knows it, everything, the whole truth.

While playing in the street, little Johnny's 9-year-old friend shows him his new bike.

\- “Whoa, where did you get that from” Johnny asks.

\- “Well”, his friend tells him: ‘I bought it for a 100 bucks that I made yesterday.’

Johnny, 9 years old and getting 1 dollar per week of p...

A watched pot never boils

but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses

What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn?

Oinkment!

The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?

They had UV protection in front.

I was playing outside all day with my daughter and when we got home, we noticed that I was completely sunburn!

She asked me, "Daddy, why didn't I get sunburn?"

I guffawed, "You can't, honey!"

She looked at me quizzically, "Really?"

I smiled, "You can only get daughterburn!"

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

I got really badly sunburned yesterday, and was in agony this morning. My mother advised using tomato juice to ease the pain. I was very skeptical at first but she was right...

... I'm now on my seventh bloody mary and I can barely feel a thing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:

"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."

To which the man replies:

"Ma'a...

What is your funniest joke about the French?

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy is sunbathing nude......

as he has a very hot date later in the evening. He over sleeps and gets a terrible sunburn on his front side. He applies all of the lotion he can and heads off to the date. The couple has a great dinner and they head back to his place. The two are making out pretty heavy and she is grinding on his b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was getting ready for a dinner-date with a stunning blonde.

He looked at the mirror and thought: "I should get some color! I know a safe place to get a tan on my roof."


It was blazing hot that day; he went to the roof, undressed, and decided to tan for 30 minutes.


Unfortunately, he fell asleep; and when he woke up, he was badly burned ...

Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?

It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors

What is black white and red all over?

A sunburned penguin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got really badly sunburnt yesterday so i took some viagra...

...it didnt help the sunburn any but it kept the sheets off me.

The longest joke in the world

From: http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again....

A Cowboy is riding his horse on his first trip to cowtown when he reaches a fork in the road...

At the fork, there is a sign which reads "Reddit go right, cowtown go left." The cowboy, confused and having never heard of Reddit, decides to give in to his curiosity and go right.

After riding for a mile or so on the path, he reaches another fork. This sign reads "Reddit go right, cowtown ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't bats sleep outside?

You ever deal with a sunburned asshole?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.