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Sunburn Jokes

A man was sun bathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.

A women walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift
your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift
itself."

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I've started using to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets off my legs.

Why do sunburned people get more dates?

Because they're a peeling . . .

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New Treatment For Sunburn!

A guy visiting over here in Puerto Rico fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the sever...

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I found a drug that helps me sleep when I have a sunburn

It’s called . It doesn’t help with the burn, but it keeps the sheets off my legs

What do you call a sunburned librarian?

Well red.

Did you hear Adele got a really bad sunburn?

She details the experience in her new song, "Aloe From the Other Side"

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A man is sunbathing on a beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.

A woman passes by and notices the hat.

She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."

The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

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BREAKING NEWS! as treatment for sunburns...

It doesn't cure it but it sure keeps the sheets off of your legs at night...

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Once I got so sunburned

Once I got so sunburned I went to the ER and they gave me aspirin and . The aspirin to reduce my fever and the to help keep the sheets off my legs.

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A man goes to the doctor with severe sunburn

He’s asks the doctor, “Is theirs anything you can do to help relieve the pain as it is so bad I can barely sleep at night.”
The doctor prescribes the man a weeks supply of .
“How will this ease the pain of my sunburn?!” The man asks before the doctor replies “It won’t but it will keep th...

What does a Hawaiian comedian put on a sunburn?

Aloe-Ha!

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is great for sunburn!

Take it before you go to bed at night, and it keeps the sheets off your skin and stops you rolling over in bed too!

I told my roommate he should date girls that sunburn easily...

He might find them more a peeling

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I've been unable to sleep due to severely sunburned legs. I went to the doctor and he prescribed .

Me: "Wow, I didn't know helps for sunburn."

Doc: "It doesn't, but it will help keep the bedding off your legs."

What happens when you get a sunburn at the beach?

You become Bernie Sanders.

I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach...

I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner.

How do you treat a sunburn in Hawaii?

With Aloe-ha Vera!

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He knows it, everything, the whole truth.

While playing in the street, little Johnny's 9-year-old friend shows him his new bike.

\- “Whoa, where did you get that from” Johnny asks.

\- “Well”, his friend tells him: ‘I bought it for a 100 bucks that I made yesterday.’

Johnny, 9 years old and getting 1 dollar per week of p...

A watched pot never boils

but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses

The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?

They had UV protection in front.

What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn?

Oinkment!

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

The longest joke in the world

From: http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again....

I was playing outside all day with my daughter and when we got home, we noticed that I was completely sunburn!

She asked me, "Daddy, why didn't I get sunburn?"

I guffawed, "You can't, honey!"

She looked at me quizzically, "Really?"

I smiled, "You can only get daughterburn!"

I got really badly sunburned yesterday, and was in agony this morning. My mother advised using tomato juice to ease the pain. I was very skeptical at first but she was right...

... I'm now on my seventh mary and I can barely feel a thing.

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A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:

"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."

To which the man replies:

"Ma'a...

What is your funniest joke about the French?

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?

It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors

What is black white and red all over?

A sunburned penguin

A Cowboy is riding his horse on his first trip to cowtown when he reaches a fork in the road...

At the fork, there is a sign which reads "Reddit go right, cowtown go left." The cowboy, confused and having never heard of Reddit, decides to give in to his curiosity and go right.

After riding for a mile or so on the path, he reaches another fork. This sign reads "Reddit go right, cowtown ...

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I got really badly sunburnt yesterday so i took some ...

...it didnt help the sunburn any but it kept the sheets off me.

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Why don't bats sleep outside?

You ever deal with a sunburned ?
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