UPJOKE
linemangearfaceundertakeriggingparaphernaliagigfishing tackleappurtenancetake onfishing gearconfrontattackcurbovercome

Tackles Jokes

A woman hits up a guy in a bar

They go to her apartment and make out. Then out of nowhere, the guy starts kissing her neck, softly at first, and then it bursts into a wild ride of biting and sucking, driving her into depths of pleasure she has never had. The guy seems to be pretty experienced, choking her and then stroking her ne...

Why would an octopus make a good football player?

Because it would have ten tackles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John murders his wife

Shortly after he is hiding the body and his neighbor, Jeff, comes round and sees what’s happening. John quickly tackles Jeff to the ground and ties him up.

“Please” Jeff pleads, “let me live and I won’t tell a soul.”

Knowing Jeff was a man of his word and not wanting to have two murde...

A college freshman is trying out for the college football team.

"Can you run fast?" asks the coach. In response, the freshman runs along the length of the field in just over twelve seconds.

"Can you tackle?" asks the coach. In response, the freshman tackles a large dead tree and reduces it to a pile of sawdust.

"Can you pass the football?" asks the...

A blind girl walks into a museum and stops at the King Tut display.

She grabs her seeing eye dog and starts swinging him over her head in a circle.
A man tackles her and they both fall to the floor.
Why the hell did you do that? she exclaims...I was just having a look around.

The key to winning freeze tag?

Sliding tackles.

How did the squid manage to join a football team?

It has got a track record for pulling off some of the top ten tackles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Red Riding Hood from Chernobyl with 3 boobs walks through the forest...

Wolf is checking her out from the bushes and thinks about raping her.
Wolf jumps out of the bush, tackles her and starts to undress her.

He sees three boobs and says: "Oh my God, you have three boobs!"
She replies to him: "If you don't like it, you can suck my dick!"

A drunk man is walking home from the bar...

and he is walking up the driveway when a robber bursts out of the house with a bag of jewelry. The man is surprised at first, but then he chases and tackles the robber

"Please don't hurt me man! Let me go, I have a family to feed!"

The man pauses, and then says,"Alright, I will let y...

A man out of work...

...sees an opening at the zoo. The head zookeeper says to him "Our ape just died and it's too expensive to replace him. Can you dress up in an ape suit and run around the ape pen? The man, desperate for a job, agrees. The next day, he does his thing as the ape, but while hopping from tree to tree, f...

A Ranger goes gator hunting

A Ranger decides one day that he wants to go gator hunting and make some boots, so he gets dressed and packs his gear. He then stops at a local tackle shop to get some bait and tips on where he would have the best luck.

The shopkeep tells him where to go and sells him some bait and as the Ra...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.