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Swiss Cheese Jokes

Swiss Cheese Paradox

Swiss cheese has lots of holes. The more holes you have,the less cheese you have. The more cheese you have,the more holes you have. Thus,the more cheese you have,the less cheese you have.

I'm opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts...

... calling it Hole Foods.

Swiss Cheese was recently declared the official cheese of the Catholic Church.

It’s the holiest of cheeses.

Why can’t vampires eat Swiss cheese?

Because it’s holey

My 8 year old just told me this one…

I don't like Swiss cheese.

It's the way it's always holier than thou.

I've been trying to make a joke about swiss cheese...

But the joke has too many holes.



I know that was a cheesy joke. Most people aren't really that fondu of them. It's rare for them to be gouda jokes. You may think of me as a muenster for these jokes, and that I could do cheddar than this. I mean no parm in these puns. Alright, I'm done...

What do you get when you mix Swiss Cheese and avocados?

Holy Guacamole!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life is getting pretty dull, so I've decided to eat nothing but Swiss cheese

I just need more 'holy shit' in my life

*Dad Joke* Why do religious people prefer Swiss cheese?

Because it’s “holy”


Used this as an actual dad joke. Daughter/wife not impressed

A cat eats a slice of swiss cheese...

and sits by the mousetrap with baited breath.

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.

"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "

The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"

The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning. ...

Europeans revere the art of cheesemaking.

But Swiss cheese is holy.

What dairy product is the most revered?

Swiss cheese, after all it's the holeist!

What do you call cheese from god?

Swiss cheese. Why? Cuz it’s hole-y!

Just a regular day in the Pope's life

This beautiful morning, the Pope woke early, excited for today's ceremony. It was a special day, and the Vatican will probably be even more crowded than usual. Standing there on the balcony and speaking to such a great audience is the purest joy of the Pope, second only to his closeness to God.
<...

Only two countries have square flags

One is Vatican City, the other is Switzerland.


No wonder Swiss cheese is holy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

PUNS & BAR JOKES

Why did I invest all of my money into the coin factory?
Because it made cents.

Did you hear about the swiss cheese debate?
The arguments are full of holes.

Did you hear about the flutist who got hit in the face with a banana cream pie?
He is now called the pie'd piper.

...

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear? They opened a pizza place in the Vatican!

It’s called Cheesus Crust.

They only use Swiss cheese Because it’s so holy.

Their most famous topping is pope-peroni.

They’re really famous for their dough.
It takes three days to rise.

They only serve seeded olives.
Because they’re afraid of the pit.

Their...

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