What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

For bird flu you need tweetment and swine flu you need oinkment.

"Doctor, Doctor, I think I've got the swine flu."

"Here's an oinkment to make it better."

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it.

It's spam.

A patient tells his doctor he thinks he contracted Swine Flu and Avian Flu at the same time.

The doctor tells him "I'll believe that when pigs fly."

100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. ...

100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask.

A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom!

John thought he could never catch an illness. When his co-worker asked him if he ever gets sick, he would always say “The day I become ill will be the day pigs fly.”

A few months later, it finally happened.

The swine flu.

What do you call a flying pig?

A swine flu

An angry mom once told me that she’d get her kid vaccinated when pigs fly.

Alas, swine flu.

I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him.

After all, the swine flu!

What’s the difference between an honest politician and a flying pig?

There actually was a time when swine flu.

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