This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell if the bat that bit you had rabies?

Also why is water so fuckin scary?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you see a bunch of raccoons hanging out in broad daylight they got rabies.

Blonde: So they don't have it at night?

So doctor, do I have rabies?

Doc: Short answer. Yes.

Patient: What's the long answer?

Doc: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss.

I don't know what animal the year 2020 is in the Chinese calendar

but I'm pretty sure it has rabies.

What do you call a brothel riddled with rabies?

A frothel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] A guy walks into a bar and demands 3 shots of tequila. Bartender obliges and says, "rough day?". "You have no idea!", the guy replies as he slams down the shots...

He begins telling him about his horrible day when a jar full of money at the end of the bar catches his eye. "What's that jar of money for over there? It's full to the brim of $10's and $20's!"

Bartender tells him it's a challenge he offers to his patrons, $10 to play, and you have to complet...

Bad Dog

One winter day, a guy was walking down the street when he saw a mangy old dog lying in the middle of the sidewalk. It was covered in flies and seemed to be barely alive. Rather than try to help it, the guy gave it a sharp kick and laughed as it limped away.

Without warning, the guy became a s...

Why California is broke and Texas is not.

The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.<...

A Man walkes into a bar...

He orders a drink and get's aware of a bucket full of gold nuggets standing behind the barman. He askes him about that. He replies:

"Well you can win this bucket, by fulfilling three tasks:

At first I gonna give you a full pint of whiskey and you have to drink it all by one.
Seco...

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