This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a global interest in survival and the ability to thrive after an apocalypse or major crisis. (Kind of long)

Scientists decide that sending 3 men to a deserted island for 5 years with no hope of rescue or assistance would be a good indicator.

The United States, France, and China each offer up 1 person for the study and they all get sent to their fate.

5 years later a helicopter lands on the...

Survival tip!

When ever my son goes snowboarding, I make him stuff hotbdogs in his pockets...

So the rescue dogs will find him first!

One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How d...

A man from a primitive island walked into a library...

He asked the librarian how he could learn more about survival and rope making.


The librarian sat him down at one of the computers and told him, "Okay, open firefox."
With a confused glance, the man stood up and walked out of the library.
The librarian continued her shift until...

What do you call a failed abortion?

Survival of the fetus

A man, a terrible worrier and procrastinator, is sitting with his doctor, anxiously discussing the results of a medical...

After an hour or more of waiting and hesitating and prevaricating and generally delaying the inevitable, finally the man draws a deep breath.

"Look doc - my chances - can't you tell me without telling me?"

The doctor looks at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Well," says the...

Why did Anakin Skywalker fail survival school?

Because when he was truly lost, he did not seek the higher ground

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