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Viable Jokes

Why cant people from alabama have any viable offspring?

They're all relatively screwed.

When is a fetus viable?

To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school.

-my mom heard this on the radio

A Jewish mother walks by a planned parenthood and sees a protestor who’s sign says “life begins at conception”

She goes up to the man and says “that may be true of Christian babies, but a Jewish fetus isn’t viable until it graduates medical school!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of German jokes...

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of
strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies:
'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Becau...

Two aliens are sitting in their spaceship looking at the earth.

One of them has been researching whether an invasion would be viable. He reports back to his commander "the humans have somehow managed to harness the power of the atom to create some of the most powerful weapons I've ever seen".

The commander says "maybe it would be unwise for us to invade t...

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan…

Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing.

Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens.

On his way back with a truckload o...

I wanted to invest in Lumber Liquidators...

But wood stock hasn't been viable sincs the 60s.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A zoo has the last gorilla of its kind and their worried that she may die soon

The owner is worried about a species going extinct on their watch but they can't find a compatible mate. They hired a scientist to try to find a compatible mate and finds that humans are the only surviving species that can successfully mate with the gorilla and produce viable offspring. After some t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] An old couple in their 80’s want to have a baby

So they go to the doctor, and due to their age the doctor recommends that they get physicals done. So he runs some tests and comes in and says that due to their old age he can’t really recommend conceiving a child, however he can’t say no because they are healthy enough for it.

He says that t...

A blonde , brunette, and a readhead.

Are going on a road trip when they accidentally trespass into a secret military base and the punishment is viable by shooting. So they bring the readhead and make her stand against the wall . The captain exclaims .
"Ready ! Aim "
the read head than turns around and says.
" Tsunami!" and a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bancroft was an unimpressive man

he had no viable skills or accomplishments. He has always dreamed of joining the king’s army and becoming a knight but was always rejected as he was too short. He would often complain to his friend, Alcott, about his height. He would repeatedly say, “If only I was taller, I would be able to be a kni...

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