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I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

My wife always keeps a little photo of me in her bra.

She says she'll show it to people if I ever cheat on her.

A woman goes to the doctor and is asked to remove her bra and panties.

Woman: Why do I need to do that?

Doctor: The file says your future employer wants me to perform a complete physical exam on you.

Woman: Well, can I have a female nurse in here too, then?

Doctor: What for? They're all kind of busy right now.

Woman: Just so that I'm more co...

My girlfriend was picking a bra to buy when I said "Bras dont suit you, your too flat"

My girlfiend then said "Well, you wear briefs right?"

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If a woman's bra is an "Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder" and a man's underwear is an "Under-the-Butt-Nut-Hut"...

Then does that make a woman's panties a "Below-the-Patch-Snatch-Hatch?"

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I tripped on my sister’s bra.

It was a booby trap.

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift.

Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra?

Because I see a Perky-Set.

Did you hear about the failed bra business?

There was a lack of good customer support

What do you call a black and white bra?

Zebra

A dyslexic walked into a bra

He said “Hey, tastes this different”

The first time I took a girl back to my apartment, she sighed and asked, “You don’t have much experience taking off bras, do you?”

I said, “What gave me away?”

She said, “The scissors, mostly.”

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My wife left her bra on the floor of our bedroom. It almost killed me when I tripped over it this morning.

Stupid boobie traps.

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra. I gave up in the end.

I wish I never tried it on in the first place.

Two days before my wife's birthday I asked her what her bra size was.

"Ooh," she said. "Thinking of getting me a new one?"


I said, "No. I just wanted to see how they compared with your sister's."

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Car Battery and a Bra walk into a Bar...

Car Battery and a Bra, walk into a bar.
The Car battery asks the Barman “Two beers please mate for my partner and I”
The Barman looks at the Car Battery and Bra and refuses to serve them.
The car battery, looking confused asks why?
The Barman replies “ Because your friend is off her tit...

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So here I am hanging out around the house, not wearing a bra, when my husband comes up from behind and grabs my boobs...

"Just trying to support my wife"....

A man walks into a bra

Lucky it was padded

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Why did the boobs not high five the bra?

Because it left them hanging.

What’s the German word for “bra?”

Holdsemfromfloppin

Defense Secretary Shanahan briefed the President this morning.

He told Trump that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Trump's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaking. Finally, he composed himself and asked Shanahan, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Either way he's getting at least two cups

How do you say 'bra' in German?

Das Schutzstopfempfrompflappen

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

When you open them they are half empty.

A man in a bra.

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

My wife bought a new bra, it's really hard to unhook.

I don't know why I put it on in the first place.

What does a push up bra and a bag of chip have in common?

Once open, you realise they are half-empty

What do you call a good fitting bra?

A girl's breast friend

Best friends are like bras..

Close to your heart and there for support

My sister asked me to take off her clothes

So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
"Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and panties."
and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever...

Do you know what they call a bra in Germany?

Kepzemfromfloppin

What do bras have in common with Martin Luther King??

Both focus on uplifting the downtrodden masses!!

Mum, I'm already 14, can't I finally get a bra?!

NO Harold!

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

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I went to wake up my parents and accidentally stepped on my moms bra.

It was a boobie trap

My wife is divorcing me because I refused to buy her some new bras.

Her attorney calls it “failure to support”.

How many south americans does it take to screw a light bulb

A Brazillion

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A Chinese man enters a Jew's lingerie store...

-I want 20 black bras size 85 D.

The Jew:

-Of course, but black is rare color, so their price is 15$ for each one.

-It does not matter,

said the Chinese,

-I'll pay.

He took the purchase and left. After a week the Chinese returns again.

-I want 30 bl...

Two men walked into a bra

They get two cups and they don't have to pay.

An Economist went to a lingerie shop to buy a bra for his wife.

While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.



The Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra...

A blond is starting in 2nd grade

On the first day she comes home to her mother and eagerly yells: "Mom! Mom! Today we had English and I knew more words and could spell better than any other kid! Is it because I am a blonde?"
"No, honey", said the mother, "It is simply because you are smarter and more knowledgeable than the ot...

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Have you ever wondered why letters are used to define bra sizes?

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

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The Black Bra

Three lady friends had their weekly lunch together. One is engaged, one is a mistress and the third has been married for 20+ years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes....

Dyslexic guy walk into a bra

Good thing there was no one in there

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A woman was arrested for murder. It was easy to find her because she left her bra at the scene and she had two different sized breasts. The bra was marked Exhibit “A”

Her tits were marked Exhibits “B” and “C”

Freddie goes to Macy's to buy a bra for his wife

At the counter, the saleswoman asks, "what's your wife's bra size?"
Freddie replies, "6 7/8"
Saleswoman says, "6 7/8? What kind of bra size is that?"
Freddie: I don't know, I measured them with my hat."

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Two boobs were hanging around without a bra. What did the one boob say to the other boob?

If we don't get some support, people we'll think were nuts!

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
You, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a...

A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...

Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside

After spending 20 minutes trying to take my girlfriend's bra off, I've decided to give up

I wish I'd never put it on now

Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?

No, David.

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Tripped over my friends bra...

..she is always setting booby traps!

Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it?



Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?

I don't understand why guys think it's so difficult to take off a girl's bra.

I can do it with both hands behind my back!

Why is a social worker like a bra ?

Both work for upliftment of downtrodden masses

What is the reason that nuns don't wear a bra?

Because God supports all of them.

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A research scientist today held a press conference to reveal a revolutionary new bra material that eliminates breast jiggling and nipple protrusion

At the conclusion of his press conference the assembled newsmen dragged him outside and kicked the shit out of him

Girls are always so impressed with how fast I can take a bra off

But generally, they’re not too happy that I was wearing one in the first place.

(Better if read in a german accent) Know what germans call bras?

Stop'm From Floppens

When he gently removed her bra, she whispered

why were you wearing my bra?

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Why do they call it the wonder bra?

When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

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Fell into a pile of my wife's bra's and couldn't get out.

It was a booby trap.

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My wife was trying to describe what it's like shopping for a bra.

As an analogy she suggested, "It'd be like trying to find something to hold your dick that looks nice *and* feels good."

...

I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I did."

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With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband…

“Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”

“No,” said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her blouse, slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

He...

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I gave my girlfriend a titty twister that ruined her bra...

Now whose tired of hearing about the whirled cup?

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Because the B-shell bras were too small and the D-shell bras were too big.

When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off

The straps are killing me

What’s the comfort support of choice for women’s bras?

Mammary Foam

Having a bra made from a tree would be a bit strange

Wooden tit.

What did the mermaid wear to her math class?

An algae bra.

Jewish Bra

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady,
"I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a J...

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Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

Bra Shopping: A religious experience.

David goes into Macy’s, to the lingerie department, and he says to the salesgirl, “My wife has sent me in for a Jewish bra, size 34B, and she said that you’d know what I meant."

The saleslady says, “Boy, it’s been a long time since anybody’s asked me for a Jewish bra. They usually ask me for ...

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

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What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

Haven't worn a bra in 4 days....

I love being a man

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work.

But he types really well.

What's the first ingredient in a push up bra?

Start with two cups of lies.

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My jokes are like an underused A cup bra...

They sometimes raise a couple of little titters.

My wife

My wife came into the bedroom and in a strict voice she said "take my blouse off", so I took her blouse off.

"Take my shoes off", I took her shoes off

"Remove my skirt", I removed her skirt.

"Take my stockings off", slowly I took her stockings off.

"Now remove my bra", I ...

What's a pirates favorite bra size?

A seaaaa cup

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A guy asks a girl if they can talk about her boobs.

Girl says, "No, why would we want to talk about that?"
Guy says, "Well you're the one that bra'd it up!"

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A travelling salesman knocks on a door...

And a ten year old boy answers the door wearing high heels, and a brown bra, smoking a cigar, and drinking scotch.

The salesman says, "woah. Hey, little fella'. Are you parents home?"

The boy answers, "what the fuck do you think?"

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he repli...

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

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We are giving away a Bra.

Send images of your breasts so that we can see if we have the right size for you.

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