What's the German word for bra?

Keepsemfromfloppin

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

How do you say 'bra' in German?

Das Schutzstopfempfrompflappen

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A blonde with perfect breasts and no bra takes her seat in first class...

She's wearing a very tight t-shirt with the word NAN in bold black letters across the front.

The gentleman sitting next to her is already in his seat, enjoying a gin and tonic.

Once settled in she smiles at him and says "That looks good, I'd sure love one".

The man rings the ...

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

When you open them they are half empty.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

cadabra. Then he disappeared!

A woman goes to the doctor and is asked to remove her bra and panties.

Woman: Why do I need to do that?

Doctor: The file says your future employer wants me to perform a complete physical exam on you.

Woman: Well, can I have a female nurse in here too, then?

Doctor: What for? They're all kind of busy right now.

Woman: Just so that I'm more co...

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Either way he's getting at least two cups

I took a girl home last night. We were fooling around, and she sighed and said, “You don’t have much experience removing bras, do you?”

Me: What gave me away?

Her: The scissors, mostly.

An Economist went to a lingerie shop to buy a bra for his wife.

While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.



The Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra...

My wife bought a new bra, it's really hard to unhook.

I don't know why I put it on in the first place.

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra. I gave up in the end.

I wish I never tried it on in the first place.

A man in a bra.

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

Best friends are like bras..

Close to your heart and there for support

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I went to wake up my parents and accidentally stepped on my moms bra.

It was a boobie trap

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I tripped over my wife’s bra.

​

It was a booby trap.

Do you know what they call a bra in Germany?

Kepzemfromfloppin

Two men walked into a bra

They get two cups and they don't have to pay.

What’s a German underwear model’s favourite animal

Ze-bra

What do bras have in common with Martin Luther King??

Both focus on uplifting the downtrodden masses!!

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, and I'll give these two a lift..

My wife is divorcing me because I refused to buy her some new bras.

Her attorney calls it “failure to support”.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Chinese man enters a Jew's lingerie store...

-I want 20 black bras size 85 D.

The Jew:

-Of course, but black is rare color, so their price is 15$ for each one.

-It does not matter,

said the Chinese,

-I'll pay.

He took the purchase and left. After a week the Chinese returns again.

-I want 30 bl...

What does a push up bra and a bag of chip have in common?

Once open, you realise they are half-empty

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman was arrested for murder. It was easy to find her because she left her bra at the scene and she had two different sized breasts. The bra was marked Exhibit “A”

Her tits were marked Exhibits “B” and “C”

Freddie goes to Macy's to buy a bra for his wife

At the counter, the saleswoman asks, "what's your wife's bra size?"
Freddie replies, "6 7/8"
Saleswoman says, "6 7/8? What kind of bra size is that?"
Freddie: I don't know, I measured them with my hat."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Have you ever wondered why letters are used to define bra sizes?

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Black Bra

Three lady friends had their weekly lunch together. One is engaged, one is a mistress and the third has been married for 20+ years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes....

How many south americans does it take to screw a light bulb

A Brazillion

Dyslexic guy walk into a bra

Good thing there was no one in there

I don't understand why guys think it's so difficult to take off a girl's bra.

I can do it with both hands behind my back!

A blond is starting in 2nd grade

On the first day she comes home to her mother and eagerly yells: "Mom! Mom! Today we had English and I knew more words and could spell better than any other kid! Is it because I am a blonde?"
"No, honey", said the mother, "It is simply because you are smarter and more knowledgeable than the ot...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two boobs were hanging around without a bra. What did the one boob say to the other boob?

If we don't get some support, people we'll think were nuts!

Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it?

​

Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?

Why is a social worker like a bra ?

Both work for upliftment of downtrodden masses

She told me to remove the bra, so i did. Then she told me to remove the panties, so i did. Then she looked me the eyes and said

Stop wearing my underwear.

What is the reason that nuns don't wear a bra?

Because God supports all of them.

My sister asked me to take off her clothes

So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
"Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and panties."
and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever...

After spending 20 minutes trying to take my girlfriend's bra off, I've decided to give up

I wish I'd never put it on now

Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?

No, David.

A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...

Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside

Girls are always so impressed with how fast I can take a bra off

But generally, they’re not too happy that I was wearing one in the first place.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A research scientist today held a press conference to reveal a revolutionary new bra material that eliminates breast jiggling and nipple protrusion

At the conclusion of his press conference the assembled newsmen dragged him outside and kicked the shit out of him

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I gave my girlfriend a titty twister that ruined her bra...

Now whose tired of hearing about the whirled cup?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Tripped over my friends bra...

..she is always setting booby traps!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Fell into a pile of my wife's bra's and couldn't get out.

It was a booby trap.

What’s the comfort support of choice for women’s bras?

Mammary Foam

Having a bra made from a tree would be a bit strange

Wooden tit.

“Mom I’m already 14, can I get a bra?”

“NO Harold!”

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
You, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a...

When he gently removed her bra, she whispered

why were you wearing my bra?

Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do they call it the wonder bra?

When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Bra Shopping: A religious experience.

David goes into Macy’s, to the lingerie department, and he says to the salesgirl, “My wife has sent me in for a Jewish bra, size 34B, and she said that you’d know what I meant."

The saleslady says, “Boy, it’s been a long time since anybody’s asked me for a Jewish bra. They usually ask me for ...

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Because the B-shell bras were too small and the D-shell bras were too big.

When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off

The straps are killing me

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife was trying to describe what it's like shopping for a bra.

As an analogy she suggested, "It'd be like trying to find something to hold your dick that looks nice *and* feels good."

...

I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I did."

Jewish Bra

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady,
"I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a J...

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bra, a battery and a set of jumper leads walk into a bar ...

The bra goes to get the drinks but the barman refuses to serve them. The bra asks why. The barman says ".. you're off your tits and your mates look like they're going to start something".

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My jokes are like an underused A cup bra...

They sometimes raise a couple of little titters.

What's a pirates favorite bra size?

A seaaaa cup

Last night, my girlfriend asked me to undo her bra.

I told her I wasn’t wearing her bra.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

What's the first ingredient in a push up bra?

Start with two cups of lies.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy asks a girl if they can talk about her boobs.

Girl says, "No, why would we want to talk about that?"
Guy says, "Well you're the one that bra'd it up!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

We are giving away a Bra.

Send images of your breasts so that we can see if we have the right size for you.

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work.

But he types really well.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A travelling salesman knocks on a door...

And a ten year old boy answers the door wearing high heels, and a brown bra, smoking a cigar, and drinking scotch.

The salesman says, "woah. Hey, little fella'. Are you parents home?"

The boy answers, "what the fuck do you think?"

Haven't worn a bra in 4 days....

I love being a man

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Here's a joke: What'd one tit say to the other after the bra came off?

Nothing, they just hung out.

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

My first time buying condoms, at age 16, I went to the pharmacy. The hot cashier at the counter could see that I was new at it and gave me the pack asking if I knew how to use one. I said, "No, it's my first time."

She took one out, put it on her thumb and told me to make sure it was on tight.

I still looked confused.

She looked around the store to see if it was empty and it was.

"Just a minute." she said and locked the door.

She led me to the back room, took off her shirt and bra.<...

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he repli...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ms. Nugent, a retired widow went to the beach wearing a bra and thong.

Her husband had died a few years back and after years of mourning she decided it was time to get back in the game. And what better way than to go to the beach in a racy, sexy swimsuit to snag a man. In her youth, this plan never seemed to fail although in that time, they didn't have thongs.

A...

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband, “Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?”

“No” said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons, reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note.

She then asked “Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up?” “No, I haven’t” he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt...

I used to work at a bra factory

but it went bust.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bra's are also called over the shoulder boulder holder's. What do you call men's underwear?

Under the butt nut hut.