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I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

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My wife left her bra on the floor of our bedroom. It almost killed me when I tripped over it this morning.

Stupid boobie traps.

A dyslexic walked into a bra

He said “Hey, tastes this different”

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on her bra

I swear she set a booby trap

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Why is it called a Wonder Bra?

When she takes it off, you wonder where the tits went.

The first time I took a girl back to my apartment, she sighed and asked, “You don’t have much experience taking off bras, do you?”

I said, “What gave me away?”

She said, “The scissors, mostly.”

Did you hear about the failed bra business?

There was a lack of good customer support

A man walks into a bra

Lucky it was padded

A woman goes to the doctor and is asked to remove her bra and panties.

Woman: Why do I need to do that?

Doctor: The file says your future employer wants me to perform a complete physical exam on you.

Woman: Well, can I have a female nurse in here too, then?

Doctor: What for? They're all kind of busy right now.

Woman: Just so that I'm more co...

Defense Secretary Shanahan briefed the President this morning.

He told Trump that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Trump's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaking. Finally, he composed himself and asked Shanahan, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

What’s the German word for “bra?”

Holdsemfromfloppin

Two days before my wife's birthday I asked her what her bra size was.

"Ooh," she said. "Thinking of getting me a new one?"


I said, "No. I just wanted to see how they compared with your sister's."

Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra?

Because I see a Perky-Set.

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift.

What do you call a black and white bra?

Zebra

What do you call a good fitting bra?

A girl's breast friend

How do you say 'bra' in German?

Das Schutzstopfempfrompflappen

Mum, I'm already 14, can't I finally get a bra?!

NO Harold!

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So here I am hanging out around the house, not wearing a bra, when my husband comes up from behind and grabs my boobs...

"Just trying to support my wife"....

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra. I gave up in the end.

I wish I never tried it on in the first place.

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Car Battery and a Bra walk into a Bar...

Car Battery and a Bra, walk into a bar.
The Car battery asks the Barman “Two beers please mate for my partner and I”
The Barman looks at the Car Battery and Bra and refuses to serve them.
The car battery, looking confused asks why?
The Barman replies “ Because your friend is off her tit...

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Why did the boobs not high five the bra?

Because it left them hanging.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

When you open them they are half empty.

A man in a bra.

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

Best friends are like bras..

Close to your heart and there for support

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Either way he's getting at least two cups

An Economist went to a lingerie shop to buy a bra for his wife.

While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.



The Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra...

Do you know what they call a bra in Germany?

Kepzemfromfloppin

My wife bought a new bra, it's really hard to unhook.

I don't know why I put it on in the first place.

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I went to wake up my parents and accidentally stepped on my moms bra.

It was a boobie trap

What does a push up bra and a bag of chip have in common?

Once open, you realise they are half-empty

What do bras have in common with Martin Luther King??

Both focus on uplifting the downtrodden masses!!

Two men walked into a bra

They get two cups and they don't have to pay.

My wife is divorcing me because I refused to buy her some new bras.

Her attorney calls it “failure to support”.

How many south americans does it take to screw a light bulb

A Brazillion

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

What’s a German underwear model’s favourite animal

Ze-bra

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A woman was arrested for murder. It was easy to find her because she left her bra at the scene and she had two different sized breasts. The bra was marked Exhibit “A”

Her tits were marked Exhibits “B” and “C”

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Have you ever wondered why letters are used to define bra sizes?

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

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The Black Bra

Three lady friends had their weekly lunch together. One is engaged, one is a mistress and the third has been married for 20+ years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes....

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A Chinese man enters a Jew's lingerie store...

-I want 20 black bras size 85 D.

The Jew:

-Of course, but black is rare color, so their price is 15$ for each one.

-It does not matter,

said the Chinese,

-I'll pay.

He took the purchase and left. After a week the Chinese returns again.

-I want 30 bl...

My sister asked me to take off her clothes

So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
"Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and panties."
and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever...

Freddie goes to Macy's to buy a bra for his wife

At the counter, the saleswoman asks, "what's your wife's bra size?"
Freddie replies, "6 7/8"
Saleswoman says, "6 7/8? What kind of bra size is that?"
Freddie: I don't know, I measured them with my hat."

Dyslexic guy walk into a bra

Good thing there was no one in there

She told me to remove the bra, so i did. Then she told me to remove the panties, so i did. Then she looked me the eyes and said

Stop wearing my underwear.

I don't understand why guys think it's so difficult to take off a girl's bra.

I can do it with both hands behind my back!

A blond is starting in 2nd grade

On the first day she comes home to her mother and eagerly yells: "Mom! Mom! Today we had English and I knew more words and could spell better than any other kid! Is it because I am a blonde?"
"No, honey", said the mother, "It is simply because you are smarter and more knowledgeable than the ot...

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Two boobs were hanging around without a bra. What did the one boob say to the other boob?

If we don't get some support, people we'll think were nuts!

After spending 20 minutes trying to take my girlfriend's bra off, I've decided to give up

I wish I'd never put it on now

Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?

No, David.

Why is a social worker like a bra ?

Both work for upliftment of downtrodden masses

What is the reason that nuns don't wear a bra?

Because God supports all of them.

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Tripped over my friends bra...

..she is always setting booby traps!

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A research scientist today held a press conference to reveal a revolutionary new bra material that eliminates breast jiggling and nipple protrusion

At the conclusion of his press conference the assembled newsmen dragged him outside and kicked the shit out of him

Girls are always so impressed with how fast I can take a bra off

But generally, they’re not too happy that I was wearing one in the first place.

A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...

Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside

Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it?



Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?

Bra Shopping: A religious experience.

David goes into Macy’s, to the lingerie department, and he says to the salesgirl, “My wife has sent me in for a Jewish bra, size 34B, and she said that you’d know what I meant."

The saleslady says, “Boy, it’s been a long time since anybody’s asked me for a Jewish bra. They usually ask me for ...

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Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

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Fell into a pile of my wife's bra's and couldn't get out.

It was a booby trap.

When he gently removed her bra, she whispered

why were you wearing my bra?

What’s the comfort support of choice for women’s bras?

Mammary Foam

Having a bra made from a tree would be a bit strange

Wooden tit.

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My wife was trying to describe what it's like shopping for a bra.

As an analogy she suggested, "It'd be like trying to find something to hold your dick that looks nice *and* feels good."

...

I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I did."

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Because the B-shell bras were too small and the D-shell bras were too big.

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I gave my girlfriend a titty twister that ruined her bra...

Now whose tired of hearing about the whirled cup?

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
You, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a...

Jewish Bra

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady,
"I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a J...

When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off

The straps are killing me

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I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this ...

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

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The Queens Breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.



Nick, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.



One day Nick revealed his secret ...

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What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

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My jokes are like an underused A cup bra...

They sometimes raise a couple of little titters.

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he repli...

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work.

But he types really well.

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The wife of a wealthy business man calls their butler into her bedroom while her husband is away on a trip for work

"Jeeves," she says at once, "take off my dress."

"Yes madam!" He replies, unbuttoning the top of her dress and watching it fall to the floor.

"Now, I want you to take off my bra."

"Oh, yes ma'am!" replies Jeeves, unhooking the front clasp of the fancy lace bra and throwing it ca...

Haven't worn a bra in 4 days....

I love being a man

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A guy asks a girl if they can talk about her boobs.

Girl says, "No, why would we want to talk about that?"
Guy says, "Well you're the one that bra'd it up!"

What's the first ingredient in a push up bra?

Start with two cups of lies.

What's a pirates favorite bra size?

A seaaaa cup

Her: “baby, undress me with your words”

Me: “there’s a spider on your bra”

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We are giving away a Bra.

Send images of your breasts so that we can see if we have the right size for you.

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

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A travelling salesman knocks on a door...

And a ten year old boy answers the door wearing high heels, and a brown bra, smoking a cigar, and drinking scotch.

The salesman says, "woah. Hey, little fella'. Are you parents home?"

The boy answers, "what the fuck do you think?"

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

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Here's a joke: What'd one tit say to the other after the bra came off?

Nothing, they just hung out.

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