A brunet, a redhead, and a blond are trying to break out of the prison...
It took them weeks to find a weak spot on the wall where they could climb over in the middle of the night. After waiting for a cloudy, moonless night, they are finally ready to escape.
As the brunet climbs over the top of the wall, she makes a little bit of noise, and one prison guard asks an...
Two men break out of a mental institution.
Two men steal flashlights and break out of a mental institution. They find themselves on the roof of the building with orderlies closing in. The men look and see there is an adjacent roof they might be able to jump onto. The first man runs and leaps over the gap, landing on the roof of the next buil...
Three prisoners break out of their jail cell.
There is only one prison guard, and he knows he is outnumbered. Instead of trying to take the prisoners down, he shouts “Hey! I don’t think you should do this. You should go back to your cells and wait out your sentence.“ The prisoners laugh, but the guard keeps talking. He gives them every reason w...
Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives.
I think I’m allergic to Peanuts.
Three inmates at the insane asylum gather around the lunch table to plot how they can break out and regain their freedom.
Rudy, the longest standing resident explains they should all meet along the Southern wall at precisely midnight, whereupon he will use his recently illegally acquired hospital issue flashlight to vault them over the wall. Then it’s a short walk across the border into Mexico.
Upon hearing the ...
What do you call it when touching iron or copper makes you break out in hives?
A metallurgy
Every time I get greedy and take more than my fair share, I break out in hives.
I must be allergic to selfish.
In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes.
You know - comic relief.
Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:
“North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”
His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:
“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”
Kim Jong Un replies by sayin...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Aliens invade earth
A flying saucer comes down one day. A group of heavily armed, green-skinned extraterrestrials disembark carrying enormous weapons.
One opens his mouth and announces "Greetings Earthlings! You have 72 hours to bring us your world leader! If he finds favor in our eyes, you will be spared. If ...
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