Sporting Event Jokes - 15 Hilarious Sporting Event Jokes

What does a priest bring to a sporting event?

Penance

How much are tickets to wizards’ sporting events?

About a quid each

What's a communists favourite sporting event?

Commonwealth Games

I have always wanted a job where I estimate crowd sizes at sporting events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Japanese aren't the only ones to clean up after a sporting event.

The Warriors, for example, just swept the Cavs.

What are we to do with all the canceled sporting events?

They're going to televise the world origami championships live... On "paper view"!!!

What do fans supporting The Culinary Institute of America cheer at their sporting events?

Die or Beat Us!

What do you call a average potato that narrates sporting events?

A common-tater

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Unlikely Friendship

John is driving north on a highway after a sporting event when he comes to a single lane bridge. He checks the road and begins to cross the river, only to be hit head-on from the oncoming direction. The two cars are completely mangled, but the two drivers are completely fine. John notices that the m...

So a latino man and his friend decide to go to a baseball game together.

He made it a point to be there very early so that they wouldn't miss the singing of the star-spangled banner as it was his favorite part of any sporting event.

As they're waiting for it to be sung his friend asks him out of curiosity, "hey man, why is this your favorite part of the game?" And...

The Chicago Bears new quarterback.

The Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new quarterback. With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Bears signed him immedi...

Empty seat at the Super Bowl (x-post from /r/funny)

Not my joke, x-posting at the suggestion of [this user's post](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fboy4/just_discovered_this_subreddit_rjokes_i_have_a/).

[Original post](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/fgj3n/empty_seat_at_the_super_bowl/).
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a soldier finds himself outside after night fall

A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father and his really ugly daughter

A really nice father who happens to be a widower and who lives alone with his only child desires to get closer to his twenty-something-daughter. Lately, however, he's been having trouble talking to her, due to her terribly depressive state; basically, his girl wants to meet a man and start a family...

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