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A farmer has dozens of cows and two bulls, but both bulls are too old to mate anymore.

One day the famer brings a third bull into the field. The new bull is much younger than the other two, and immediately starts mating with cow after cow.

When the old bulls see this, one of them starts huffing, snorting, and scraping the ground with his hoof.

"Don't bother competing wit...

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It was a dark and rainy night…..

Our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.

After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service stati...

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A frustrated wife goes to the doctor (long)

"Doctor, you have to help me. I've been married 30 years to my husband and I feel he's lost all interest in me. You know, phisically speaking. He barely looks at me, let alone have sex with me. Oh, I really miss the good old times where we had wonderful sex multiple times a week, there must be somet...

Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low?

She thought it was diet coke.

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. The first bull growled, "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows!" The second bull snorted, "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows!"

The third grunted in agreement, "I've only been here a year and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows!"

Just then, an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen.

At 4,70...

What does a norwegian guy sounds like when snorting cocaine?

snjort

New bull on the farm

Three bulls on the farm. They were just working out divvying up the heifers (young female cows). The biggest claims 60 of the 100 heifers. The second one claims 30 and the smallest, a puny runt gets 10.

Just as they ironed out the details, a huge trailer rolls up and out walks a monster of a ...

I have a friend who once sneezed while snorting coke, and sprayed it all over his goatee.

He immediately went and shaved the goatee off.

When he came back, I asked him why he'd shaved it.

**"Because you dont get high off your own 'stache"**

A woman was accused of snorting a family members ashes.

She snorted half a gran.

I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix...

Anybody got a punch line?

Have you ever tried snorting cocaine using Penne?

It gets to your blood stream pasta

I tried snorting coke once

But the ice cubes got stuck in my nose

I tried snorting coke for the first time

I didn't like it, the bubbles tickled

I was a party. My friend said, "You see that girl over there? She's hardcore. She gets high by snorting insects."

I made a beeline for her.

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A monkey was casually waking in the woods on a moonlit night.

He saw an elephant drinking vodka and decided to go talk to him.
"My friend!" the monkey said- "Alcohol is bad for your health. Why don't you stop drinking and join me to enjoy the beauty of nature?"

The elephant thought about it for a second and decided to join the monkey.
The two of t...

The police arrested two guys in the park last night

One was snorting the inside of fireworks, the other was drinking battery acid.

They charged one and let the other off.

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I saw a duck high as shit

It was snorting cwack.

Noah is on mission from God to gather a pair of each animal

So he journeys far and wide to all the corners in the world to gather them up.

Once he came to Scotland, he told the natives: " Hear me! God is wrathful with mankind! Do gather up a breeding pair of each kind of animal and bring them to me. Once my task is complete, it shall rain for forty da...

We were at Kyle's place last week and had an idea

You know how everyone has occasionally had the great idea to try and snort assorted things? Like pixie stix and rock candy? That's where this story takes place.

Somehow the topic of conversation wandered to the effects of cocaine and other substances on the nostrils. The attention seeker of t...

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Lee Smart was always a trouble maker throughout his life.

In school, Lee Smart was always getting in trouble. His friend, Isaac, always stuck by his side, though. They were always best friends.

Though Isaac was getting sick of Lee’s crap. Lee kept drinking and driving, he kept smoking Marijuana and snorting Cocaine. Isaac was so close to just leavi...

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