This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a sign in the booze aisle of the supermarket. It said "Alcohol-free"

Fucking bargain, I thought, so I picked up ten bottles of Prosecco.

I took my lad to see Father Christmas yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes.

God knows what Father Christmas thought of him.

My uncle keeps getting in trouble for kiestering booze into jail

It's a real condomrum

So I’ve seen a lot of booze ads lately

And they all say “please drink Responsibly” or “enjoy Responsibly” or something like that, and I’m just confused.

What kind of drink does Responsibly make that even other brands endorse it in their own ads?

I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn’t get in line. I knew it was a trick…

Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze?

Invite two of them!!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The reel, the ink, and the booze

There was a company that sold a great variety of fishing equipment and supplies. One of their new products was a rod to be used out at sea, with a special reel mechanism to catch larger fish. Now, there was a new employee who was in charge of printing buyers' names onto the reel by hand and with a q...

How does a booze thief make you feel better?

He lifts your spirits.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] A broke man walks into a bar and asks how he can earn free booze

The bartender says, "Well I got this donkey in the back that's been depressed lately. If you can make him laugh, you get free drinks for an hour." Without another word the broke man walks through to door to the back and after about five minutes the bar was filled with the sound of laughing donkey. T...

A man goes into a bar...

...and orders a beer. The barman gives him a beer and tells him that it is on the house.

When the man orders a second beer, he tries to pay but the barman refuses to take his money.

This continues for well over an hour, and the man realizes that the barman isn`t charging anyone for ...

I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere.

Then suddenly I slipped in cider.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three men die and are sent to Hell. Satan punishes them based on their sins

They must all spend 80 years locked in a room with their guilty pleasures in life.
The alchoholic will have all the booze he can drink. The sex addict will have countless beautiful, horny women. And the pot head will have all the weed he can smoke.
The three men face their punishments happil...

A joke an old man told me at work

An Irish cruise ship is headed back from the Bahamas on its last night at sea. Right around dinner time, the captain gets on the loudspeaker.

“This is your captain speaking. There has been a mix up in our supply. While there are 1,000 passengers on board, we only have 750 meals for you all to...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

What's a comedians least favorite drink?

Booze

A Frenchman, A German and An Englishman are caught smuggling booze in Saudi Arabia!

They are all ordered to be whipped and will receive 30 whips each,
they ask the Frenchman what he would like on his back while he is whipped and he replies " A cushion" . After about 15 whips the cushion comes apart and the Frenchman is left screaming with a red back.
Then they as the German ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town.

A bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars.

The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"

The bum replied, "No."

Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"

The bum said, "No."

Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Judge

While walking through a courthouse, a kid enters an empty courtroom. He sees a fine leather briefcase (the kind the lawyers carry) sitting on a bench. He picks it up and runs through the first door he sees, which leads to the judge\`s chambers.

The judge says, "Hey kid, go across the street ...

Carrots may be good....

Carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three buddies get pulled over.

One day Joe, Craig and Mike were booze cruising around when they get pulled over by the police. After Joe failed the sobriety test the officer said 'well boys I'm feeling generous tonight and if all your penises add up to 18" I'll let you go'.
The three decide that it's a fair bet so Mike says he...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man visits an old tavern

and sees an artist carving a beautiful pair of breasts into the veneer on the back wall. The entire upper section of the tavern has fantastic pairs of tits carved all over, and it is quite a sight to behold.

The man asks the artist, "is this all your work?"

The artist responds, "it is....

We all know Donald Trump doesn’t drink alcohol. But did you know he won’t drink non-alcoholic beer either?

It’s fake booze.

A man goes to see the doctor...

"Doctor," he says, "How healthy am I? Will I live for a long time?"

"Do you smoke?" the doctor asks.

"No," the man replies.

"Do you drink?"

"No."

"Do you eat red meat?"

"Nope."

"So," says the doctor. "You don't smoke, you don't drink booze and you don...

A weasel walks into a bar...

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender is stunned.
“Wow I’ve never seen a weasel in my bar before!” exclaims the bartender. “What kind of alcohol would you like?”
The weasel looks over the menu and shakes his head.
The bartender says, “Okay no booze. Is there anything I can get for you...

A Man Catches a Cab from the Airport...

and realizes he forgot to bring his hat.

"Can you take me to a haberdasher please?" he asks

"Sure thing, buddy" the cabby says.

They drive for a few minutes.

The cabby leans back, "What was it you wanted again?"

"A haberdasher".

"Right".

They drive ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two homies from Oakland decide to go on a road trip, without a destination...

As Tyrrell is loading the trunk with booze, weed, and all sorts of ill shit, Jerome is loading himself up with all sorts of bling. They jump in the low riding Cutlass and hit the road.

A few days of mindless driving goes by, Tyrrell asks Jerome: "Ay bruh, where we at?" Jerome responds: "Sheee...

Why did the ghost walk into the bar?

For the BOOze!!!

(This is my 5-year-olds favorite joke)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sam died...

And found himself in hell. Greeted by Satan, he started crying.
Confused, Satan asks him what's wrong?

Well, I'm in literal Hell! Answered Samuel.

Oh, it's not as bad here as you think. Tell me, do you drink?

Well, can't say I've ever spat in a glass, Samuel answered.
...

A teacher asks the class,"What do you do after school, kids?"

Anthony says "I buy weed from Yakobo"

Emily says "I buy booze from Yakobo"

Shaun says "I buy cocaine from Yakobo"

The teacher definitely didn't want to hear this type of responses, so she asks another random kid whom she didn't know that well.

"I complete my homework" he ...

A man and a priest are sitting next to each other at a bar.

A waitress walks up to the man and say,

"can I get you anything to drink". The man replies,

"I've had a long week, my wife's been screaming at me for days and need a pick me up, give me the strongest thing you've got".

Then the waitress turns to the priest and asks him the sam...

Im a social drinker

Yep, I spend my social security checks on booze.

Have you found Jesus?

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The Preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk,

...

Why didn't anyone buy the Trump line of liquor?

It was fake booze.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A group of friends walk into a bar and order a round of drinks.

They sit at a table next to an old man who appears to be on his own and is staring deeply into his pint.

After a few minutes, the old man leans back on his chair, stinking of booze, presses his face up against one of the guys and says, "your mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So there's this guy...

So there's this guy, and he's got an ant farm, but not like a normal ant farm, it's like a regular farm that's run by ants, and one day the ant in charge of the farmer ants says to the guy 'hey guy, we're workin our thoraxes off tryin to harvest these crops but it's real tough, boss. See they're all...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes out to the bar woth his friends, but promises his wife he won't drink.

A man goes out to the bar with his friends, but promises his wife he won't drink. All night long his friends try to convince him to drink with them and get a cab later. He finally relents and starts taking shots.

Pretty soon he catches and surpasses his friends. He gets so drunk that he throw...

Why did the ghost have to join AA?

He had a problem with BOOze

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man dies and is being greeted by the Devil at the gates of Hell. The Devil says “Welcome to Hell, sir, we’re here 24 hours a day to serve all your hedonistic needs!” The man, perplexed, says “Oh really? I thought Hell was supposed to be a terrible place, where you are punished for all your sins!”

“Oh no, that’s just a big misunderstanding” says the Devil. “Those religious folks just try to keep you scared so you’ll behave, but it’s not like that at all.”
“Oh, well that’s great!” says the man, starting to relax a bit.

“Let me show you around here,” the Devil says, and the two start ...

Where would you park your camel?

The Camelot.

PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment

An Englishman, a German and a Frenchman...

...are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
<...

I never give money to homeless people

...because I know i’m going to buy booze with it.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They voted on pizza.

Then I took all their pocket money, spent it all on booze and blamed my ex-wife for their predicament.

An irishman is at a bar

He goes to get up and falls flat on his face

" paddy, you've had enough to drink, go home" the bartender tells him

" I'm Irish, i can hold my booze, but i think its time for me to leave !"
He goes to stand up again and falls flat on his face.

" look, you live right next door,...

Why's it so hard to perform comedy in a liquor store?

Because you always only get booze

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two mates were reminiscing about the party they'd been at the week before..

"Great party that, last week, wasn't it?"
"Wow, yes, great food, great booze, great girls...and a posh house to boot."
"Posh house?? it was a suburban semi?"
"Never....they had a gold-plated toilet?"
"What?, I can't remember that, you must have been drunk."
"No, honestly, I remem...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man named Ted is unable to put alcohol down.

His thirst for liquor is unquenchable. All he does every day is drink and drink. Rum, tequila, beer, vodka, he has it all. Doesn't matter how it tastes or looks; he'll down it.

At first it started out at a simple party at Dominc's place. His best bud, Bob, invited him so he couldn't say no. P...

The Crusading Nun.

A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup.

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tea...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman is out of town on business

and decides to head down to the hotel bar for a quick drink on her first night there. She sees the bar isn't all that crowded and easily finds an open seat.

She grabs a menu and the only other guy sitting at the bar moves over next to her. He reeks of booze. He says to her, "I wanna tell you...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three men go to hell

The devil says if you can last one year with what caused you to die in a locked room, I'll let you go back to earth the moment you died without no one mn owing and you can continue living.

He goes to the first man to which he says "booze I drank everything in sight and it lead to my organs fe...

Why does President Trump only drink liquor made by Fox News?

Everything else is fake booze.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two guys want to go out on the town drinking

But between the two of them, they only have about $15. So they are pondering the best way they can go out on the town and get drunk with the money they have. All of a sudden, Guy 1 says "hey, I have an idea! Give me the money you have, and I'll be right back." He goes to the corner deli store and c...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Man goes to hell

So this man dies and ends up going to hell. As he's sitting there wondering where he went wrong in his life and how he ended up in hell a demon walks by and notices the man looking very sad.

Demon takes a seat next to the sad man and nudges him in the side and asked him, "hey man what's wron...

Why are ghosts popular at parties?

Because they always bring the booze.

There are 70 ways to make a man happy...

One is booze and the other is 69.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A politician dies...

A politician dies and finds himself in the presence of both God and Satan.

They explain him that, after carefully counting and recounting all his good and evil actions throughout his life, there’s a tie. As this is an unusual situation that, somehow, has never happened up to this point, they ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two men walk into a bar

one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."

The bartender laug...

The Ant, and Spider,were hanging at the millipede's house...

They ran out of Booze. So being a good host, the Millipede volunteered to get more at the store.

Waited for 2 hours and the millipede was nowhere to be found.

They opened the front door and saw the Millipede was still putting on his shoes ..

So an illiterate man signs a deal with the devil.

The devil appeared to the man one day and said "If you are willing to give me a soul, I will grant you all of your heart's desires, but you will have to deliver your soul to me on your final day, I will tell you when it comes"
The man, without a second thought, agreed to this.
20 years later, ...

A woman is woken up late one night to the sound of her husband coming home.

He crashes into the bedroom reeking of booze, with a duck under his arm.

"What the hell's going on, Steve?" asks the woman.

"What do you think of the pig?"

"That's not a pig, it's a duck."

"I wasn't talking to you."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Rural Party

A man moves to Lincolnshire, and is lonely until he gets a visit from a local farmer. The farmer invites him to a party, but warns him:

"There will probably be a lot of heavy drinking."

The man agrees that a bit of booze is a good way to get to know people. The farmer then says:
...

Husband's night out

An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.

"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another wo...

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

I'm finally going to do something about my alcoholism

I'm going to pour out all the booze in my house. One shot at a time.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guess my age

It's Linda's 40th birthday, so she heads down to the shops to pick up supplies for the birthday BBQ she's having with some friends later on that day.
She heads to the supermarket first, fills the trolley with booze, the heads to the check-out. At the till the man notices the 'Happy Birthday' badg...

What's a ghost like to drink on the weekend?

Booze











(Kill me now)

A Texan, a Kentuckian, a Californian, and an Oregonian are all sitting around a campfire...

A Texan, a Kentuckian, a Californian, and an Oregonian are all sitting around a campfire, talking and BSing. Being a Texan, the first man decides to use a lull in the conversation to prove his manhood to the group. He pulls out a 6-pack of Lone Star beer and a revolver, slams down one of the beers i...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You Hear About What Happened At the Local Liquor Store?

**ME**: Police were investigating the liquor store down town for serving to minors. So they conducted an undercover operation where they sent in a 18 year old girl with a fake ID to buy some booze. The police waited outside while she went in. When the girl got in and showed her ID the manager came o...

Every Friday after work, a man heads to his local bar and gets completely drunk...

... Every week he wastes most of his paycheck on the Friday night booze, and then stumbles home to a very angry wife who is struggling to make ends meet.

One week, his wife makes a very serious threat. She says, "if you come home totally drunk one more Friday night, I'm going to divorce you."...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was at Phil's Halloween party the other day...

I was having loads of fun, lots of moving about and talking, so naturally after a while I began to get a little thirsty. I looked around for the booze but sadly it'd run out and Jim had gone out to get some more. Oh well, I thought as I turned around and saw a large group gathered around the juice t...

Paddy and Danny got in the car

for the journey home and said their goodbyes to their friend Mick.
"Thanks for putting us up for the weekend," said Paddy. "The food was great, the booze was great, and I really enjoyed screwing your wife!"
On the way home, Danny turned to Paddy and said: "I hope you weren't serious about ...

A hare, turtle, and a centipede ran out of beer at a party..

Wanting to keep the party alive the tortoise hands the hare 50 dollars and says, "Here, take this to the store and buy more booze." "Wait! The hare is way too drunk to go to the store." The centipede said. The tortoise says, "I'm not gonna waste anymore time! I will go." The centipede stops the tort...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Peg-Legged, Hook-Handed, One-Eyed Pirate...

After thirteen months of sailing the seven seas, a battle-worn schooner filled to the brim with booty and booze makes port in the rag-tag pirate isle of Tortuga.

The captain - a buccaneer known the world over for his utter lack of mercy, his terrible greed, and his hearty girth - lumbers off ...

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Catholics acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle.

Extra:

What's the difference between Catholics and Lutherans? Catholics just acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle, Lutherans have a 15 minute conversation about booze.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I like my women how I like my... (compilation)

...wine, locked up in a box.

...wine, white and young.

...wine, 12 years old and stored in my basement.

...booze, cheap and filled with alcohol.

...original Xbox, 8 years old, overheats when used a lot, and it sucks every time.

...creationists, braindead and on the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Americans go hiking in the USSR

A group of american tourists came to the USSR and decided to go hiking in a traditional Soviet way. They got the tents, vodka, made a camp in the forest.

Suddenly a huge bear appears from the bushes, starts to roar and ruins the camp in a few seconds. The americans run as fast as they can fo...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Saudi Arabian diplomat visits the United States.

A Saudi Arabian diplomat visits the United States.

He is greeted at his embassy by Obama.

The diplomat invites Obama into a secret room. Once inside, he says to Obama, "Let me show you a program we use on people in our country."

Obama agrees and the diplomat leaves the room. ...

What do ghosts drink when they're sad?

Booze.

A lady is bargaining for a honeymoon package abroad..

Says the agent: "Check it out maam. 3 nights and 4 days in a cruise to Bahamas, all night party and casino environment with free booze. Just $2000 per couple. Hell of a deal."

The lady: "Umm. Nice one. But do you have anything cheaper?"

The agent: "Sure maam. 4 nights and 5 days in Aus...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two illegitimate children walk into a bar. They both order the same drink...

One of them, however, uses a large, off white syringe to inject the booze into his rectum. The result?

The alabaster ass blaster baster bastard got plastered faster.

A drunk's prayer...

A drunk man was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.

Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

"Please God," he thought. "Let it be blood!"

What do you call a Children's show with some Alcohol added in?

Booze Clues.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

an illustrious lawyer dies and goes to hell...

... where he is greeted by the devil who says, "i have claimed your soul as one of the forsaken. for all of eternity, you will serve as my aide." this suited the lawyer's taste and so he handled clerical and correctional duties on behalf of the devil. for his first assignment, the devil takes him to...

The Fishing Trip

With his friends, Billy schedules a fishing trip. They decide to spend the weekend at the lake, fishing by the quiet of nature. With all decided, Billy returns home to tell his wife. The wife, however, didn't like the idea and forbid him to go. The next day, the poor man tells his friends "Sorry guy...

Trump enters a bar...

Trump enters a crowded bar and orders his favorite drink. But he soon realizes a Latino guy is sitting just next to him.

So Trump yells at the barman: "Hey, free drinks for everyone... Except this guy!"
Everyone cheers, but much to his dislike, even the Latino smiles! Weird...

After...

When I was in college, I went to a party at the math fraternity house.

I left when I found out they didn't have any booze; they didn't want people to drink and derive.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

...And sees a jar full of $10 bills on the counter. "What's that for?" he asks the bartender. The guy behind the counter replies: "We have a contest going on, to take part you gotta drop $10 in the jar. You then drink a shot of tequila, and go outside in the back. There's a huge Rottweiler with a ro...

All the forest animals are having a big car show..

..shining their rims, getting ready to put their cars on display for the forest folk to see. The bunny is hopping along half drunk and stumbles into the clearing.

"WHOAAHhh bear, that's a sweet lambo, how did you ever afford it?"

"Well bunny, i'm not an alcoholic like you" replies the...

What's the best part about being an alcoholic stand-up comedian?

If you're good you get laughs, and if you're bad you get booze.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young man walks into a bar

Sits down, and orders five shots of tequila.

The bartender says, 'that's a lot of booze. Are you celebrating something?'

The young man replies, 'My first blowjob.'

'Well then,' says the bartender, 'the sixth is on me!'

The young man sighs, 'No thanks. If five doesn't get...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Betting Jokes

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. As a sports bettor I completely misunderstood the crap table.

~

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Suzan, pack up your things. I just won a ฿1000 20 leg parlay!” Suzan replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A pilot crashes while flying over an African jungle...

He survives the crash and is taken captive by tribesmen. He is taken to the chief of the tribe who tells him that the punishment for trespassing in their jungle is death. He says they are a fair tribe and other him a chance of freedom if he completes 3 tasks. The pilot, ecstatic about possibly liv...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol

There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol.

While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason...

Birthday present

An alcoholic looked at his calendar and noticed it was almost his sons 18th birthday. Being a drunk, he did not see his son very often, but felt he had to give something to his son for this momentous occasion. Having blown all his money on booze, he had an idea...

Two days later his son got a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A South African, an Australian and an Englishman are all having a drink

The Englishman and South African both drink from Pint Glasses, the Australian from a bottle.

The South African, upon draining his glass, drops in back down on the bar, pulls out a pistol, and shoots the glass.

"In South Africa, there is so much sand that I never drink from the same gla...

An officer and a DUI

Having had a good lashing of booze at a village pub, a good local boy gets in his car to drive home. He's swerving all over the place, barely missing tree after tree. A police patrol spots him, pulls him over and ask the man to step out of the car.

"Excuse me sir, we have reason to believe y...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Irish Wedding

A wild, Irish wedding reception is brought to a premature end when Paddy grabs the microphone and announces, "The party is over. We have run out of booze, there is no food left, and somebody has fucked the bride."


As everyone is heading towards the doors discussing what had happened, anot...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Golden Toilet

A guy was invited to this lush party by his boss, a very wealthy man. He is very excited as he was born an raised poor and in poverty and had never been to a formal party before. He borrows a tux from a friend and heads to the party. The booze was flowing free of charge so the guy has more than h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hot Dog Troubles (lengthy but worth it)

Two guys have been out drinking after work for hours. When it's time to go home they both decide it isn't worth the trouble because their wives were gonna be PISSED. The problem was they were both outta money and wanted to keep drinking.
Guy #1: (sees a hotdog vendor closing for the night) Ibe go...

4 men on a sinking boat

On a trip to the sea, an American, a Russian, a Mexican and an Irishman were sailing on the boat. In the middle of the rough ocean, the boat, unable to carry so much weight, started to sink.
"We have to do something!" yelled the Russian man. "Let us each throw some of our things off the boat to...

Drinking joke from Finland

Pekka and Jukka are sitting in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. For 3 days they are drinking like hell, before they finally run out of booze. So Pekka says to his mate: “Go and look in th shed. Maybe there’s something left we can drink.”
Jukka returns after a few minutes with a bottle of menth...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The 'ole Sausage trick

Fred and Ray go to the liquor store to buy a cheap bottle of booze. Once n the store, they discover that they only have $1.50 between the two of them.

Ray says, 'I've got an idea', and goes next door to the butcher shop and comes back with a polish sausage.
'here Fred, stick this in your p...

College

A professor tells the class that they will be performing an experiment the next day. When the students get to class, they see the professor with a large glass vase, some large rocks, some small pebbles, and some sand. The students all get seated, and the professor begins the experiment. He fills the...