UPJOKE
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Phony Jokes

What did the duck say to the phony doctor ?

"Quack!"

What's black and phony?

My phone.

I nearly beat up a psychic for being phony.

Too bad he saw it coming.

An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard...

An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard. He sits down and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look li...

What so you call a fake Iron Man

Phony Stark

My grandfather was arrested several times...

...for selling a phony immortality elixir.

Once in 1885, again in 1922, a third time in 1964, another time in December 2021...

Memory

A tourist was introduced to a Native American Indian in New Mexico who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptical, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943? " The Indian answered, "Eggs. " The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony. "Thirteen ...

The 15-dollar bill

The local barber was showing the guys in his barber shop a novelty 15 dollar bill he had bought in a novelty store.

They were all laughing at how phony it looked, when one of the guys commented that his dumb brother was heading their way, and that he was dumb enough to think their bill was a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call incels lying about their ability to play musical instruments to impress sexy e-girls?

A simp-phony

Everyone keeps saying 5G causes COVID-19

I'm getting sick of all this phony news.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny Strikes Again

A very Petty school teacher wanted to stump the children so she instructed them to use the word DEFINITELY in a sentence when she called on them.

The 1st student called said, "The sky is definitely blue."
With a smirk on her face, the teacher said... "No the sky is sometimes other colors. ...

What do you call a knockoff Hasbro toy?

My Little Phony

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and an anorexic prostitute?

One's a phony buck.

What's the difference between a hockey puck made of Styrofoam and bestiality?

One of them is a phony puck...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When are all of you people going to understand that the government...

AND companies like Bridgestone, Windsor Salt and Big Shovel are BRAINWASHING you into believing that winter and snow is real thing. It is completely FALSE and made up to KEEP us pinned down in our houses during the winters. I for one am SICK AND TIRED of being told that I need to shovel my driveway ...

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Old Native American Chief

My grandfather walked onto a Native American reservation one day cause he heard that the tribe's Chief could remember anything.

He walked up to the Chief and said, "What did you have for breakfast on Saturday August 3, 1974?"

The Chief looked at him and said, "Eggs."

My grandfat...

Why I don't trust photos taken from a cellphone camera

They seem...phony

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends walking their dogs...

walk past a bar. They would like to have a drink, but there is a sign on the bar that says 'no dogs allowed'. One of the guys puts on a pair of sunglasses, tells his friend to wait, and walks into the bar with his dog. After a few minutes he walks out victoriously and says for the other to put on hi...

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Guide to pooping at work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2013 Survival Guide for taking a du...

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