Every morning on my way to work, I slip on the frozen newspaper on my front step.

I have fallen on some hard Times.

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recall my first time using a condom...

I was about 16 or so and went in a pharmacy to buy a packet of condoms. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter who handed me the package. She asked me if I ever worn one and I said “no this is my first time”.

So she unwrapped the package and slid one condom over her thumb, prec...

Olympic Condoms

A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.

"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.

She simply responds,

"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a cha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hypnotist

A renowned hypnotist is attempting a mass hypnotism in a large auditorium. There are over 15,000 people there listening with rapt attention. The hypnotist pulls out a very nice golden pocket watch and holds it up for the entire crowd to see. He begins by saying:
"This is a watch passed down from ...

Boss hangs a poster in office

Boss hangs a poster in office
‘I am the boss, dont forget’

He returns from lunch,
finds a slip on his desk,
‘ur wife called, she wants her poster back home..!!’

some knock knock jokes my daughter told me on the way home from school

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana skin."
"Banana skin, who?"
"Yay! Someone slipped on me! You know, *because people slip on banana skins*."

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Toilet paper."
"Toilet paper, who?"
"Noooo! Don't wipe me on your d...

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