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Skinned Jokes

In an African tribe village, the chieftain's wife gave birth to a white skinned child.

The chieftain quickly figured the voluntary doctor from Europe might be to blame. So the chieftain asked him to talk in his tent.

Chieftain: "Today my wife gave birth to a white child. She and I are dark skinned. You are white. It doesn't take a doctor to figure out that you have slept with ...

A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.

The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"

Chuck Norris has a bear skinned rug…

The bear’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move.

I'm fair-skinned.

I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.

In a remote tribal village…

A baby is born with light skin and fair hair. The expectant father, whose features are quite dark, is outraged. He gathers his weapons and heads straight for the only fair-skinned man in the entire region: a missionary the next village over who bears a striking resemblance to this newborn child.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I absolutely love and admire the unintellignt, overweight, yellowish-orange skinned man with the bad combover covering his baldness who has had his finger on the nuclear button all these years...

Wait... I was talking about Homer Simpson, who did you think I meant?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter announces that due to overcrowding, only extremely gruesome deaths will be admitted into heaven today, sorry for any inconvenience.

The first man comes up and Pete says, "How did you die?"

"Well, I's been suspicious that me wife been cheating on me, so I comes home early from work today to catch her, I does. She acts all innocent, she does. She says, 'Go ahead, search the apartment if that will make you feel better,' she ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks up to the urinal next to a dark skinned man. As he's doing his thing, he notices the man has a tattoo on his penis.

it says "Wendy". The guy remarks, "Hey! That's interesting! I have a tattoo on my dick too and it has my wife's name Wendy on it as well!"

The dark skinned man looks at him and says "what do you mean? Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day' "

Three light-skinned gentlemen walked into a tanning salon

They were looking to get their tan. The owner of the salon were happy to recieve them and asked them what tans they wanted.

The first gentleman said he wanted a light tan, so the salon owner led him to a tanning bed that was colored caramel.

The second gentleman said he wanted a gold...

I drew a picture of a skinned fish.

It’s not a scale drawing.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

Three people became shipwrecked on an island inhabited by cannibals.

They were swiftly captured and told they would be killed, cooked, eaten, and their skin would be used to line the tribe’s canoes, but they would be able to choose how they died.

The first man, a British man, decided he wanted to die by the sword. In an instant, a tribesman cut his head off. ...

When I was a boy, I fell and skinned my knee

I called out for help. My grandfather came to my rescue. He helped me up and, brushing off the gravel from my hands and knees, he asked me which one of my three knees I had skinned.

Confused, I asked, "*Three* knees?"

He replied, "Which one of the three did you hurt?Your left knee, you...

After my dog died, I had him skinned and made into a rug.

He's now a Labradoormat.

I once saw a skinned Grizzly

The bare bear was barely bearable.

Why are there so few dark skinned students at Hogwarts?

Because most of them were expelled for using Black magic.

What did the chicken farmer’s daughter say to her dry skinned mother?

“Hey you got the eggs, ma?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Australian go exploring in the jungle.

Afer some time, they come across a beautiful lake and all decide to go swimming.

Afterwards as they leave the crystal-clear water they are captured by a local tribe and are brought before the chief.

The chief looks at them and says "All three of you were caught swimming in our sacred w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward...

A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward waiting room. The nurse walks in and explains that there's been a terrible mix up with the babies, and that the fathers are going to have to figure out amongst themselves which baby belongs to whom. The Irishman springs up out of his chair ...

I pulled my back out trying to uproot a smooth-skinned sapling.

That stupid son of a birch!

There's an English man, an Irish man and a Scots man...

They're all stranded on this Desert Island. The cannibals come and say "right you're coming back with us and we are going to skin you and turn you into canoes"

So... they arrive at their camp and the cannibals say "before you're killed you each get one last request"

The scots man is fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman...

An Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman are trekking through the jungle together. They’re hacking down trees, killing leopards, and generally doing manly things.

All of a sudden, they are confronted by a group of natives, who grab the trio and drag them to their little village and tie them to s...

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