What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony

There's a really obvious way to get people to bruise their shins.

When I tell you what it is, you'll kick yourself.

What does your shin taste like?

Bologna

How’d you get the name Tony?

I was born with no shins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got a tattoo of a rooster in a noose on my shin.

I've always wanted a cock that hangs below my knee.

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There once was a 6ft tall cockroach

This cockroach goes to some lady’s house and rings her doorbell. When she answers, the cockroach kicks her in the shin. The news of this is put in the newspapers. The next night, the same cockroach goes to another house and knocks on the door. This time, when a guy answers the door, the cockroach pu...

What do you call lunch meat thats on your shin?

Bologna

I broke part of my Shin Bone off today...

Tibia Continued.

Three women are looking at their hair in the mirror.

The first says, "I really need to get this cut and styled so I can have pigtails."

The second nods. "I'm looking for more of a ponytail look." She laughs. "Isn't it funny how many styles are named after parts of animals?"

The third girl laughs. "I know right? Just the other day, I got ...

Napoleon got shot right in the shin

It tore his bone apart

I gathered some people to excavate some tibias and fibulas the other day...

It was a shin dig

What do you call a man without shins?

Tony.

(A joke created by a non-redditing friend)

A man approaches the gates of heaven

A man approaches the gates of heaven and asks to be allowed to enter.
"Tell me one good thing you did in your life,"says St Peter.
"Well,"says the man,"I saw a group o...

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Anna Kournikova is approached by her agent with one last career option.

He explains that with her youthful looks behind her, her best option is to take a training shoe endorsement she has been offered. She'll only need to model the footwear from the legs down, and give them use of her name.

She's reluctant because years of top level tennis gave her leg muscles wh...

A two foot tall man named Shaw is sentenced to five years in prison

So naturally he’s scared. In particular, he’s scared of a large Dutch prisoner named Reedemps, who runs the cell block and gives the diminutive Shaw beatings on the regular.

Shaw makes friends with his cell mate, Joe, who is also afraid of Reedemps, Together, they hash out a plan to get reve...

I went to a restaurant the other day

And told the waiter to surprise me. He put bread around my shin and told me to enjoy my below-knee sandwich.

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane

They make polite small talk and then sit back to wait for takeoff.

All of a sudden, the Jewish man turns and delivers his neighbor a swift kick in the shins.

"Yeow!", yells the Chinese man, "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor!"

"But the Chinese didn't do that!...

I was so excited to be at my girlfriend's parent's house for dinner.

So I decided to make a good first impression by complimenting my girlfriend in front of her parents:

"Let me just start off this dinner by saying that I am delighted to be here with my beautiful girlfriend and her parents. Your daughter is an incredible person. She is kind, witty and, most im...

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A kid in a tracksuit called to my door last night and said “Trick or treat”

“Its not Halloween till Tuesday. What are you even supposed to be?”

“I’m a ware wolf” he said with a cheeky grin.

“But you’re not even wearing a costume”

“Well it’s not a fucking full moon yet dickhead” he said before kicking me in the shins and running away laughing.
...

It's for a Duck

An Atlanta lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck...

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Did you hear about the masturbating Chinese brothers?

Their names were Lo Shin and Ti Shoo

A man visits his doctor, complaining of hearing voices in his leg.

The doctor asks if the man has seen his psychiatrist, but the man insisted, "You are the family doctor, you are the only one that I trust with this."

The doctor uses his stethoscope on his patient's knee. He hears "Hey, hey doc, can you lend me 5 dollars?"

The doctor is alarmed, but co...

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Little Timmy woke up one morning desperate to pee.

He bounded out of bed and hurtled across the landing to the main bathroom. Eager not to cause an upset, he carefully prised open the bathroom door.
In the bathroom, Timmy's sister, Lucy, was shaving her legs. Unfortunately, she caught a spot on her razor, causing a stab of pain. Blood started to ...

What's the most controversial animal product?

A boar shin.

Two beggars are sitting in the Vatican...

There were two beggars sitting next to each other on the street in Vatican city, one had a large cross around his neck, the other had the star of David.It was a lovely day, the sun was shinning, there were thousands of people walking past the two beggars, but everyone was giving the man with the cro...

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Stupid Dog

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then? " he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins. "You dumb dog. " As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a...

A SEAL and his Sculpture

There was a Navy SEAL living undercover in the depths of Eastern Russia where they regularly hold ice sculpting competitions. He had been there for a while and was longing to liven up his stay there so he decided to enter the next one. There was a shop in town that he could buy sculpting supplies fr...

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Phil dies and is met by the Devil in front of three doors.

The Devil takes him to one side. 'Look, Phil,' he says, 'we're trying something out to cut down on admin down here. We used to assign punishments to the damned that fit their sins, but now we're letting people choose themselves.'

He gestures to the three doors. 'What I can do for you is this:...

It's quiet...too quiet...

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?

She had to buy a duet yourself kit...

*-drops mic-*

*-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*

How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball?

It's skirts versus shins.

So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt...

sources say it was a real shin dig.

One of my favorite jokes as a kid

3 men are being flown in an old-fashioned airplane with no windows. They're all enjoying the aerial view of the city when one of the guys finishes an apple, and throws the core off of the plane. The second guy follows his example, finishes his banana, and throws the peel off the plane. The third ...

So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . .

. . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . .

it's fine I'll show myself out.

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