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Shapes Jokes

Some shapes got involved in an accident.

The circle got up and looked round, the triangle suffered acute injuries and the square was alright.

I taught a parrot to recognize shapes...

But now polygon

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes....

Large, small, circle, square, thin crust, deep dish, extra toppings....

Where do shapes go to pay for their crimes?

A prism.

I got some black and white tattoos done in shapes a few years ago, and anytime my wife gets upset she just lies on me and colours them in...

I guess sometimes, she just needs a shoulder to crayon.

Credit u/HugoZHackenbush2

A Canadian couple made province-shaped cookies

A baker in Canada thought it would be fun to bake cookies that were each in the shapes of Canada's provinces and territories.

"These look delicious," said her husband.

"Thanks!" she said. "And don't worry, I've made some of each shape so you're able to eat them."

"What do you me...

I only cut my waffles into Messerschmitt-shapes

They are luftwaffles

A man is at the checkout line of a supermarket when he realises he forgot to buy condoms

A man is at the checkout line of a supermarket when he realises he forgot to buy condoms.

When his turn arrives, he looks at the cashier and asks "I'm sorry, I forgot to buy condoms, can you ask someone to bring me a packet?"

"That's fine", she tells him, "what size do you need?". He'...

You know how this time of year birds fly south in those V shapes, but one side of V is longer than the other? Know why that is?

More birds

I like to draw shapes in the sidewalk with chalk...

But the street is where I draw the line

What do you call a bleak future society in which people are forced by the state to trim hedges into decorative shapes?

A dystopiary!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

Did you hear about the convention for irregular and non-quadrilateral shapes?

Be there or be sqaure

Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...

A jigsaw is a great coping mechanism.

What do delinquent shapes get up to?

Shenanigons

What is it called when shapes play pranks on each other?

Geometrick.

I remember having this little plastic cut out shapes to help with drawing when I was little.

I used to be really obsessive about them actually, I'd spend hours. But there would always be more to draw around.

Then I had this realization, that I'd never be done. I'd run out before I could finish. It was weirdly horrifying and morbid.

But anyway that's the story of my first extra...

If I've learned one thing in my travels, it's that men come in all shapes and sizes.

But enough about my exotic fleshlight collection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Winky

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your résumé, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So over the past few weeks I've been mastering the art of ejaculating in various shapes. I've done squares, triangles, hexagons, but could not for the life of me form an oval. I was starting to get frustrated, but its fine now...

I came a round.

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