I'd never let my children go to the opera

There's just too much sax and violins

Guys I really want to break up with my Jazz musician girlfriend but I can't

The Sax is too good

I have a friend who plays the Alto Sax and the Tenor Sax.

He is bi-saxual.

*I will show myself the door*

Why don’t film soundtracks use jazz and classical?

Too much sax and violins.

Did you hear about the two friends who pooled their money to buy a brand new saxophone?

They recently entered into a same-sax relationship.

Nowadays there's too many musical instruments

It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV

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A woman had sex with a Jazz Artist...

A woman had sex with a JAZZ Artist and she told her best friend about it. She was happy for her asked, "you just saw him yesterday though... you went in FAST."

She replied, " Hey, it's not my fault, he was too Sax-y"

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A man walks into a bar...

then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender. He says “you’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who pissed in your sax!”

What do you call a jazz soloist that’s into men and women?

Bi-sax-ual!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my girlfriend she'd get Sax lessons for her birthday

Offended she asked: "Sex lessons? Isn't it good enough?".


"Oh no honey, I meant the saxophone.

So you can finally learn how to blow."

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

A sax offender

I wanted to watch a music movie...

But it was full of sax and violins.

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

Bartender says "what's up with the octopus?" Guy says "this octopus can play any musical instrument you put in front of him." There's a band on the stage, so the guitar player walks up and puts down his guitar. Tentacles start flying, and the guitar starts making the most beautiful sounds you ever h...

My parents never let me listen to classical or jazz music growing up.

Too much sax and violins.

Here's another godawful joke. Downvote away.

Why was the man banned from the jazz club?

Because he was a registered sax offender.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am outraged at the current state of video games

My son, who is eight years old, recently showed me his new “flute-em-up” game, tuba raider, and I am outraged at the amount of violins in it. Later, he asked me for GTAV (Great Tambourines And Violins) and I was horrified when I saw it had a sax scene with a prostitute and you could even do drums. D...

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Why didn't the saxophone get fired from his teaching job after multiple accusations of sexual assault?

he was a tenure sax

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Golden Urinals

So a man is always cheating on his wife. She finally gets fed up with him and says the next time he gives her a lame excuse, she is going to leave him. A few days later he comes home extremely late.
"So what's the excuse this time," she said.
"Hey, I was drinking all night with my buddies. I...

All music classes were banned at my school...

They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins...

I passed by a music shop the other day

All the instruments were painted with cool pictures and patterns. However, it didn’t allow children due to graphic violins and sax.

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A Brit walks into a bar in Mississippi.

The bartender, taking note of the man's rather non-local appearance, shook his head and handed the man a beer - he didn't want to be at the butt-end of some lame joke.

The other bargoers, however, didn't seem to have the same inclination, and so began pestering the Brit.

"Well lookie h...

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Music Jokes

Sharing some music related jokes :-

1. Q. What did George Michale sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. Don't let your son go down on me.

2. Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. The lead guitarist holds the light, & the world revolves ar...

An unmarried couple start a jazz band. What would they call it?

Premarital sax

When I told my parents I wanted to be a blues musician

they I decided it was time to have "the sax talk"

Why was the musical R-rated?

Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.

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Anything can happen at a ska show

A few weeks ago, my band was opening for a slightly more famous band at a moderately large local venue. This was one of the biggest gigs we'd had yet, and so I was seriously stressing about it beforehand, even though our sax player kept telling me not to. "Relax, you've been playing keyboards all yo...

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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

I just moved into an apartment above a jazz club...

I was sick of paying for sax.

I was really bad in my school band.

So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.

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