I have a friend who plays the Alto Sax and the Tenor Sax.

He is bi-saxual.

*I will show myself the door*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender. He says “you’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who pissed in your sax!”

I'd never let my children watch the orchestra

There's too much sax and violins.

*Edit: Due to some people's annoyance I have changed the joke to:*

**I'd never let my children see musical performances.**

There's too much sax and violins.

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

A sax offender

Why cant you bring kids to an orchestra?

Too much sax and violins

My parents never let me listen to classical or jazz music growing up.

Too much sax and violins.

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I told my girlfriend she'd get Sax lessons for her birthday

Offended she asked: "Sex lessons? Isn't it good enough?".


"Oh no honey, I meant the saxophone.

So you can finally learn how to blow."

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

Bartender says "what's up with the octopus?" Guy says "this octopus can play any musical instrument you put in front of him." There's a band on the stage, so the guitar player walks up and puts down his guitar. Tentacles start flying, and the guitar starts making the most beautiful sounds you ever h...

Here's another godawful joke. Downvote away.

Why was the man banned from the jazz club?

Because he was a registered sax offender.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the saxophone get fired from his teaching job after multiple accusations of sexual assault?

he was a tenure sax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am outraged at the current state of video games

My son, who is eight years old, recently showed me his new “flute-em-up” game, tuba raider, and I am outraged at the amount of violins in it. Later, he asked me for GTAV (Great Tambourines And Violins) and I was horrified when I saw it had a sax scene with a prostitute and you could even do drums. D...

What is a jazz musician that got kicked out of the catholic church?

Sax-communicated.

I passed by a music shop the other day

All the instruments were painted with cool pictures and patterns. However, it didn’t allow children due to graphic violins and sax.

All music classes were banned at my school...

They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins...

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A Brit walks into a bar in Mississippi.

The bartender, taking note of the man's rather non-local appearance, shook his head and handed the man a beer - he didn't want to be at the butt-end of some lame joke.

The other bargoers, however, didn't seem to have the same inclination, and so began pestering the Brit.

"Well lookie h...

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Golden Urinals

So a man is always cheating on his wife. She finally gets fed up with him and says the next time he gives her a lame excuse, she is going to leave him. A few days later he comes home extremely late.
"So what's the excuse this time," she said.
"Hey, I was drinking all night with my buddies. I...

Why was the musical R-rated?

Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Music Jokes

Sharing some music related jokes :-

1. Q. What did George Michale sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. Don't let your son go down on me.

2. Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. The lead guitarist holds the light, & the world revolves ar...

When I told my parents I wanted to be a blues musician

they I decided it was time to have "the sax talk"

An unmarried couple start a jazz band. What would they call it?

Premarital sax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anything can happen at a ska show

A few weeks ago, my band was opening for a slightly more famous band at a moderately large local venue. This was one of the biggest gigs we'd had yet, and so I was seriously stressing about it beforehand, even though our sax player kept telling me not to. "Relax, you've been playing keyboards all yo...

I just moved into an apartment above a jazz club...

I was sick of paying for sax.

I was really bad in my school band.

So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.

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