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Cleaver Jokes

I just bought a knife that can cut 8 pieces of bread at once.

It's a four loaf cleaver.

A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...

I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.

In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!

I made an awful joke about an axe and no one laughed...

It wasn't very cleaver.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A single woman on her period decides that she does not longer want to sit around at home ...

... and that it is time to hit the town for some drinks. Maybe she will meet that special someone tonight? She decides to go to the local bar.

As she sits at the bar by herself a very drunk gentleman approaches and starts to flirt with her. It is clear the man wants to have sex with her. Howe...

Watching the latest episode of Forged in Fire. In the sharpness test, Doug Marcaida tested how much bread each blade would cut with just one slice...

The winner was so lucky he brought his 4-loaf cleaver.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New bordello opened

New bordello opened. They will make every sexual wish come true, but if client can't pay, they will ask a butcher from neighboring meat shop to cut part of your body.

So, one day came russian oligarch. He fucked everyone in the bordello. Female prostitutes, male prostitutes, barman, barmaid a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about explorers.

Three men are exploring the jungle and are quickly caught by natives. The leader of the natives asks the first explorer:
“What do you do for a living?”
He replies “Im a butcher”
The natives drop down his pants and cut off his dick with a cleaver.
The leader asks the second one the same q...

Nostalgia: What did June Cleaver say to her husband, Ward, in the morning?

Don't you think you were a little rough on the Beaver last night?

A Scientist is experimenting on a frog...

The scientist tells the frog, “Jump frog! Jump!”

And then the frog leaps 4 feet across the testing table. So the scientist marks down in his notebook, “frog with 4 legs jump 4 feet”

The scientist then brandishes a large cooking cleaver and chops off one of the front legs of the frog....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are captured by a group of terrorists, and are to be tortured.

They shout at the first man, demanding to know what his job was before he was captured.
"I was a butcher!" He says. The terrorists get a meat cleaver, and hack his dick off with it.

They shout at the second man, demanding to know what his job was before he was captured.
"I was a plumber...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three American salesmen were caught in a Middle Eastern harem.

One tried to explain "A cab driver told us this was a cat house and snuck us in the back door."

"No excuses!" the Emir shouted. "Any man who enters my harem must pay dearly!"

He then became very thoughtful. "If you were my people, you would be put to death at once. But tensions are hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Something different. A joke game using the names of members of Congress

[Use this list](http://www.house.gov/representatives/).

Boehner, Johnson, Cleaver, Young, Cotton, Cook, Bishop, Barber...

Seriously, there's a lot of comedy gold in these names if you put a little effort into it.

Example: The Johnson/Boehner/Cummings anti-pornography act.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[seriously] Joke Request or Challenge, however you want to look at tit.

I am not as creative, nor as clever as many of you. So that is why I am asking for help.

I have a router that broadcasts 3 signals: 2 are mine (2.4Ghz, and 5Ghz) the 3rd is guest (which is optional) access.

I would like a witty or cleaver name to use in these 2 slots. They have a max o...

The inventor of the butcher knife probably thought very highly of himself

To be fair, it was a very cleaver idea

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