UPJOKE
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Guitarists Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do guitarists and ladies with sensitive vulvas have in common?

They both hate G strings.

Why do females prefer guitarists?

Because of their fingering technique

How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. 1 to change the lightbulb and the other 9 to say "I could do that".

Why are bass guitarists always safe?

Because they stay out of treble.

How many bass guitarists do you need to change a lightbulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.

I built a website for kinky guitarists

It’s called FretLife

Why do women like guitarists?

Because they are good at fingering.

Why do girls go crazy for guitarists?

Because they're good with their fingering and they know their way around a G-string

For you guitarists out there...

After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;

"First offender?"

She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

Why are violinists braver than guitarists?

They never fret.

Why don't guitarists like ukuleles?

Because they don't fret the small stuff

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

guitarists are pretty good as bisexual lovers

on the one hand, their fingering must be pretty good; on the other, their wrist action must be pretty good too.

Why do women throw underwear at guitarists at concerts?

Just in case their G-string breaks.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.

I heard an Iraqi guitar tutor is offering to teach guitarists songs in obscure tunings

Lessons will be in BAGDAD

How many guitarists does it take to play Stairway to Heaven?

All of them, apparently.

How many guitarists does it take to cover 'Dust In The Wind'?

Evidently all of them.

Why are bass guitarists always standing at the front door?

Because they don't know when to come in.

In response to the Country Singer lightbulb joke, how many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

13.

1 to do it, and 12 to say they could do it better.

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c...

One-night stands are great with drummers

As opposed to guitarists, there's no strings attached.

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