Hollandaise Jokes

The waiter, perplexed, asks him why. He responds:

“There’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise...”

He'd recently had a new plate implanted and felt some pain in the area.

Upon examination, the dentist stated "the acrylic is starting to deteriorate. Tell me, have you been eating a lot of Hollandaise sauce?"

"Yes," said the chef "it's a favorite. Is that bad?"

"Well," explain... read more

Do you like hollandaise sauce? I love it. It put it on fish and chicken and vegetables. It's great.

But there is a lot of lemon juice in it, and I think it is causing some pitting on my dentures.

I went to my dentist. He said the pitting probably was from the hollandaise sauce and that... read more

But there's no place like home for the hollandaise.

Tom had lived in New York City for 30 years now. As he looked out the window of his office suite, he realized it was Christmas Eve.

He had been so absorbed with the company business and without a family of his own, had really not been paying attention to the holidays. As he stared at t... read more

Because there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

One of my chefs at my culinary school told the class this one and we got out early because we couldn't stand to be in the room with him any more.

I stopped into a little diner for breakfast, and ordered the Christmas Eggs Benedict. The waitress came and delivered it on a shiny metal plate. I said, "This is fancy." She replied, "Well hon', you know there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise

His dentist built a standard dental plate and fitted it into his mouth and it worked just fine.

In three months, the man was back at his dentist. The dentist looked in his mouth, and the plate he had just put in was so deteriorated it was beyond repair.

The dentist was shocked that it ... read more

What did the asparagus say to the Eggs Benedict?

*Happy Hollandaise*, of course.

^(BTW, I'm not a dad.) ^(LOL)

So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

... complaining about his dentures wearing out.


"It seems like they're corroding, doc! What am I doing wrong?"


The dentist looked concerned. "Have there been any changes to your diet?"


"As a matter of fact," said Santa, "Mrs Claus has started making a wonderful holla... read more

A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental braces replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent hollandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just about ev... read more

A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?" the dentists asked the man.


"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I ... read more

A man goes to the dentist. He tells the dentist, I have been having problems with my dentures. The dentist says let me see them. The dentist says they are all corroded. He asks the man, what on earth do you eat that would do this?
The man says I eat pretty normally but, I do enjoy hollandaise ... read more

He explains to the dentist that his dentures don't feel right anymore. The Dentists sits him down, does a brief examination and exclaims, "what in the world? Your whole partial plate is corroded and like it was eaten away by some chemical. " The Dentist asks, "are you on a weird diet or somethin... read more

He has horrible pain in his mouth.

The dentist examines him, and says, "There is extensive damage in here, what is your diet like?"
The man says, "Hollandaise sauce. Morning, noon and night. I eat it on everything."
"Well, the damage seems very extensive, but I think I can fix it. You w... read more

...to get some a prosthetic plate fitted. Well, a month or so later he goes back. The new plates just don't feel like they are sitting correctly and feel as if they are a little loose. His dentist takes a look and asks, "Have you been eating anything particularly acidic?"

"Well... my wife doe... read more

... ahhhh the hollandaise

A Chef named Ted comes in early to work one Sunday morning, hungover from a crazy party the night before. In his tired state he begin to talk to all of the Breakfast food he's making for the brunch buffet about to start.

Ted looks over at the toast and asks "how are you feeling this morning ... read more

They have an eggs Benedict dish that they service on car hub caps - it’s called “there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise”

Credit to Colin Mochrie.

After looking over the menu he orders eggs Benedict. When his breakfast arrives, it's served on a big shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter,"Whats with the hubcap?" The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

...in California for winter break. He had the car packed and he left after his last final. He wanted to make good time so he drove all night, but as the sun came up his stomach started to rumble...it was time for breakfast!

He pulled into a mom and pop diner and it looked exactly like you'd e... read more

He was looking forward to seeing his family. However, the snows of December were coming in, and eventually it was a full blizzard. He decided to pull over and stay overnight in a little town. The next morning, he went to a diner to get breakfast. He saw eggs benidict on the menu. The waiter said it ... read more

A rope walked into a bar. The bartender looked at it and said, "Hey! No ropes in here!" So the rope walked out. Once outside, it twisted upon itself a number of times, then rubbed it's short free end until it was just a bunch of fibers without any organization. Upon completion of this, the rope walk... read more