Did you hear about Rosie's autobiography?

It was a rivetting tale.

According to Simon and Garfunkel, we should blame Rosie for Covid-19

She was the queen of Corona

I had a thing for Rosie, the robot maid from the Jetsons.

Man, was she built!

If you know anyone named Rosie stay the hell away from them...

After all Paul Simon taught us she’s the queen of Corona.

At least Rosie and Donald can agree on this

They'd both do Ivanka.

Rosie O'Donnell is such a hipster

...she hated Trump before it was cool.

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My British coworker

My British coworker is new to America, and he delights in telling me and my other coworkers about all things British. Today he was trying to explain Cockney rhyming slang - things like saying "have a butcher's" instead of "have a look", because "butcher's hook" rhymes with "look"; or "a cup of Ro...

A boy approached his mother and asked about his name.

He asked, “Mom, why am I named Leif?”
His mother replied with, “Because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” Satisfied with the answer he left to go play.

A few minutes later the boys sister approached the mom and asked, “ Mom, why am I named Rosie?”
Her mother replied with, ...

Cider

"Please Miss, I've hurt my finger," said little Rosie to her teacher. "Have you got any cider?"

Puzzled, the teacher asked her why she wanted cider.

"Because I heard my sister telling her friend that when she gets a prick in her hand she always puts it in cider."

Survivor: Texas Edition

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas Edition".

The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas then drive a circuit to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Brownsville, Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, Amarillo, Abilen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

A Dad and his 3 Daughters are eating dinner

One daughter turns to her dad and asks "Dad, why did you name me Rosie?". Her Dad looks at her and says "Well, when you were born, the first thing to touch your face was a rose petal, so we named you Rosie". The second daughter looks at him and asks "Dad, why'd you name me Lilly?". The Dad looks at ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is going with her boyfriend to his parents' house...

...to meet and have dinner with them. This is a very important night, and she wants to make a good impression – she even made some bean pies for the occasion, the parents' favorite.

They get to the house, and are having dinner – so far everything is going just fine. Then…disaster strikes. Sh...

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