What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant..

Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says "My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"

A British man visits a small American family farm... [Long]

And he's impressed at just how much food the farmer is able to grow on his small plot. "This is most impressive!" he says. "It seems like more than one family could eat, old boy! How do you deal with the excess?"

The farmer, a man of few words, replies: "We eat what we can, and what we can't,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Jeremy Corbyn went to see the Queen.

Jeremy Corbyn asked the Queen. "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well." Said the Queen. "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Jeremy Corbyn then asked. "But how do I know if the peo...

Nigel Farage walks into a bar

Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and then leaves.

A parrot named Nigel leaves home and returns home,4 years later, speaking Spanish

It's pretty common, all the language majors I knew moved back in with their parents too.

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Looking back on Britain's 2016.

The year most middle aged men went from wanting to fuck Nigella to wanting to fuck Nigel

up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw two black kids spraying their names on a wall today.

I decided to join them. I'd only sprayed the first three letters of my name when they started to beat me up.

Maybe they don't like people called Nigel.

There are two types of people I hate in this world...

People intolerant of other people's culture....

and the Dutch.

Credit to Nigel Powers

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