What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie?

One glitters, the other glows

I didn't know Mariah Carey liked trees so much.

But apparently all she wants for Christmas is yew.

What do Mariah Carey and Bob Marley have in common?

They can both sing really high

What do me and Mariah Carey have in common?

Neither of us know the words to any of her songs

For Christmas, I asked Mariah Carey if I could get her a big open space to park her cars, but she declined

She said “I don’t want a lot for Christmas”

The first verse of Mariah Carey's 'Christmas' is a diss.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas"

...

"All I want for Christmas Is you"

Fans around the globe are rockin' out to Mariah Carey's latest hit single ...

"*The Monitors Are Down ...*", performed live for the first time today in downtown New York City, has been praised for a unique nihilistic style and pertinent statements regarding the internet-induced apathy of today's youth.

Mariah Carey

That awesome performance.



Update: thanks for helping me get to the front page of r/jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, nin...

Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance.

That's it...

2016 ends with Mariah Carey dying

On the stage.

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise

He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Biggest Joke of 2016

Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve

I heard there was a bombing in Times Square.

But it was just Mariah.

Congrats to Ohio State, you didn't have the worst performance of the evening...

...Mariah Carey's got your back.

Help! What to do with a piece of empty Real Estate?

It was my Christmas gift for Mariah Carey, but when I gave it to her she told me,
"I don't want a lot for Christmas"

Rain drop, drop top....

Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

New Year's Eve Party

*Two guys watching Mariah Carey's Times Square performance*

Guy 1: "Man, 2016 has been such a mess."

Guy 2: "I know right. This year ended on such a low note I can't even hear it."

Helen Keller was blind and deaf.

She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey.

My 2017 resolution is to find a new job

Turns out being Mariah Carey's sound guy wasn't a good fit

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