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Roller Coaster Jokes

What vegetable loves roller coasters?

Celerweeeeeeeeeeeee!

Him: why ride a roller coaster when you can ride me?

Her: because roller coasters actually make me scream

What's the fastest ride at the carnival?

You would think it would be the roller coaster.

But really the carousel has the most horse power.

Woman are a lot like roller coasters

They mess with your heart, and most have a height limit to ride on.

Why did the big rock ride the roller coaster but the small rock didn't?

The big rock was Boulder.

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The woman next to me on the roller coaster wouldn’t stop screaming.

It’s like she has never seen a penis before.

Anxiety is like a roller coaster

*Makes a decision.
Think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Say it out loud.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme par...

2 blondes are on a roller coaster...

One says to the other, "If we turn upside down, will we fall out?"

The other says, "Of course not !! We will still be friends. "

Women are like roller coasters

Women are like roller coasters, they have their ups and downs but in the end you always finish riding way to early.

Did you know Helen Keller had a roller coaster?

You didn’t? Neither did she

What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx?

The type where people scream in the flat parts.

-Jerry Seinfeld

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I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling meth head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't...

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A woman gets off a roller coaster at an amusement park. Feeling dizzy from the ride, she immediately falls to the ground, unconscious.

She wakes up to find a man rubbing her breasts. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"I was just reviving you," replies the man. "When I saw you unconscious on the ground, I lightly slapped you, but nothing happened. I rubbed your wrists, but nothing happened. I even gave you mouth to mouth, but s...

How did the roller coaster parks decide on the acceptable height for children to ride?

Experience.

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A woman's birthday was in just a few days...

Her husband asked her if she could have anything she wanted on her birthday, no matter how impossible, what would it be?

The wife told him "It's kind of silly, but I'd really like to be six again."

That gave the husband a great idea for a big surprise. On the morning of her birthday, h...

The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...

All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.

The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"

Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period,...

The US news cycle is like a bad roller coaster ride...

Usually it just makes me scared and nauseous, but this is a surprising twist.

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Having sex with me is a lot like riding a roller coaster

It's over in about a minute and makes you want to vomit

What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster?

Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!


What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?


Nosotros!!!!!

On the day of Michael Jackson's death

The two paramedics arrive at Neverland Ranch to find Michael unconscious and not breathing.

The rookie says to the veteran "What should we try first?"

"I reckon the roller coaster."

Did you hear about Six Flags new roller coaster?

They are calling it 2020.

Life with me is like a roller coaster.

There's a weight limit.

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Every time I have sex with a girl, it’s like being on a roller coaster.

It usually last a few minutes, and she vomits after.

What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster?

Yes!

Joe took his date, Kerri, to the carnival...

Joe, using one of those online matchmaker services, get's a date with Kerri.

Joe decides to take Kerri to the carnival.

As they walk down the midway, he asks "What would you like to do first, Kerri?"

"I want to get weighed," she said.

They ambled over to the weight gues...

Women are like roller coasters.

##

I tend to observe them from a safe distance, and I'll never go on a big one.

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a roller coaster?

>!Jocelyn!<

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Roller coasters are like your first time having sex.

for the amount of time it takes to get there, you wish it lasted longer.

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An American man and his son went on vacation to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one a...

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I was at an amusement park with my friends.

They all said the invisible roller coaster was great, but I didn't see the attraction.

[NSFW] "What was your first time like?"

Three friends are chilling in a bar, drinking and talking. One of them asks "What was your first time like?"

The first guy says "My first time was like riding a roller coaster. It started slow, then got really intense and fun, but it ended too quickly."

The second guy says "My first t...

Roman Rollers

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game.

The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.

They were the first roller coas...

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Frank takes his hot blind date, Heather, to an amusement park.

Frank and Heather agree that Heather should decide on the first thing to do, then Frank, then Heather, then Frank and so on.

"What do you want to do first?" asks Frank. "I want to get weighed," replies Heather.

So Frank takes Heather to the weight guesser. "Let me guess," says the weig...

A man visited his heavily bandaged friend in the hospital.

Upon seeing his injuries, the friend asked: “What happened to you?”

“Well, we went to a theme park and decided to ride a roller coaster,” the man explained. “As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was too small and I co...

What's the best place to propose to a French person?

At the top of a roller coaster so on the way down they say wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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A guy finally gathers up his courage and asks his crush out.

She says yes, and he invites her to an amusement park. They ride the carousel, the roller coaster and the ferris wheel. Then he asks her "What do you wanna do next?" She tells him "I wanna be weighed!"

As a matter of fact, there's a weight guesser present at the park,and they go to his stand....

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An American couple is looking to adopt a child...

and for whatever reason, they find themselves in an orphanage in Germany. There is this little German boy they really liked to adopt, and they decide to ask the nun if they can adopt him.

"You want to adopt little Volker?" the nun asks.

"Yes, of course. Why, is something wrong with Vol...

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At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

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