Him: why ride a roller coaster when you can ride me?

Her: because roller coasters actually make me scream

I really like roller coasters, but...

There's a lot of ups and downs.

Why didn’t four ride the roller coaster?

It was two squared.

The US news cycle is like a bad roller coaster ride...

Usually it just makes me scared and nauseous, but this is a surprising twist.

What vegetable loves roller coasters?

Celerweeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anxiety is like a roller coaster

*Makes a decision.
Think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Say it out loud.

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Every time I have sex with a girl, it’s like being on a roller coaster.

It usually last a few minutes, and she vomits after.

Did you hear about Six Flags new roller coaster?

They are calling it 2020.

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I went on a roller coaster and the woman next to me would not stop screaming.

Seriously,it was like she had never seen a penis before.

Did you know Helen Keller had a roller coaster?

You didn’t? Neither did she

What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx?

The type where people scream in the flat parts.

-Jerry Seinfeld

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What's the difference between a paedophile and a roller coaster?

You have to be a over 5ft to ride a roller coaster

What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster?

Yes!

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a roller coaster?

>!Jocelyn!<

I made a pot themed roller coaster

It’s called “The Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed”

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, Wall of Fear, Screamin...

Life with me is like a roller coaster.

There's a weight limit.

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I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling meth head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't...

Women are like roller coasters.

##

I tend to observe them from a safe distance, and I'll never go on a big one.

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Having sex with me is a lot like riding a roller coaster

It's over in about a minute and makes you want to vomit

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A guy finally gathers up his courage and asks his crush out.

She says yes, and he invites her to an amusement park. They ride the carousel, the roller coaster and the ferris wheel. Then he asks her "What do you wanna do next?" She tells him "I wanna be weighed!"

As a matter of fact, there's a weight guesser present at the park,and they go to his stand....

What's the fastest ride at the carnival?

You would think it would be the roller coaster.

But really the carousel has the most horse power.

Joe took his date, Kerri, to the carnival...

Joe, using one of those online matchmaker services, get's a date with Kerri.

Joe decides to take Kerri to the carnival.

As they walk down the midway, he asks "What would you like to do first, Kerri?"

"I want to get weighed," she said.

They ambled over to the weight gues...

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Roller coasters are like your first time having sex.

for the amount of time it takes to get there, you wish it lasted longer.

What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster?

Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?

Nosotros!!!!!

The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...

All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.

The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"

Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period,...

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Frank takes his hot blind date, Heather, to an amusement park.

Frank and Heather agree that Heather should decide on the first thing to do, then Frank, then Heather, then Frank and so on.

"What do you want to do first?" asks Frank. "I want to get weighed," replies Heather.

So Frank takes Heather to the weight guesser. "Let me guess," says the weig...

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At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

A man visited his heavily bandaged friend in the hospital.

Upon seeing his injuries, the friend asked: “What happened to you?”

“Well, we went to a theme park and decided to ride a roller coaster,” the man explained. “As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was too small and I co...

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An American man and his son went on vacation to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one a...

[NSFW] "What was your first time like?"

Three friends are chilling in a bar, drinking and talking. One of them asks "What was your first time like?"

The first guy says "My first time was like riding a roller coaster. It started slow, then got really intense and fun, but it ended too quickly."

The second guy says "My first t...

Roman Rollers

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game.

The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.

They were the first roller coas...

What's the best place to propose to a French person?

At the top of a roller coaster so on the way down they say wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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In the land of Cheerios...

In the land of Cheerios there is a cast system. At the top there are the king and queen Cheerios, next come the noble Cheerios, then the night Cheerios who are responsible for law enforcement in the land, then come the peasant Cheerios who are somewhat oppressed but work hard and get by, and then th...

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I was at an amusement park with my friends.

They all said the invisible roller coaster was great, but I didn't see the attraction.

On the day of Michael Jackson's death

The two paramedics arrive at Neverland Ranch to find Michael unconscious and not breathing.

The rookie says to the veteran "What should we try first?"

"I reckon the roller coaster."

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