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Twists Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alien couple land their saucer in a farmer's field

They approach the house and explain to the farmer and his wife that they are intergalactic swingers. He asks them is they are ok to spend the night and then go back to their planet in the morning. The farmer and his wife talk it over and agree.

The male alien takes the farmer's wife into th...

I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists

I am conflicted

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball.

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume. The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced. The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.

How many twists does it take to screw in a Sid Meier's light bulb?

Just one more turn.

Mike and his wife Sara went to the state fair every year, and every year Mike would say, "Sara, I'd like to ride in that airplane."....

Sara always replied, "I know, Mike, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."


One year Mike and Sara went to the fair, and Mike said, "Sara, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."


S...

What a twist

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a gir...

I'm writing a book with a huge plot twist

So that you'll think:

"Oh, this is how it's gonna be"

And then it turns out to be completely different

Because I'm not actually writing a book.

My life is like going to see a M. Night Shyamalan film....bizarre characters, lots of plot twists

and I want my money back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my girlfriend that my penis and my punchlines are similar because they both have twists in the end.

She agreed saying she's never seen either coming.

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